Has it really come to this?

Do you realize that they now sell pre-made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the frozen food section of the grocery store?

Why is this? Is it that working moms, overburdened, no longer have time to make even PB&J for their kids’ school lunch boxes?

I can understand having frozen lasagna or meatloaf … but PB&J?

Could it be that making something so simple like PB&J will soon be a lost art?

Where is the stopping point?

Recently the Netherlands legalized polygamy in all but name by granting a civil union to a man and two women. “We consider this to be just an ordinary marriage,” said Victor, who tied-the-knot with both Bianca and Mirjam. Victor added that a fourth person would not be allowed into their marriage because they want to be "honest and open with each other and not philander."

While the battle to legalize polygamous marriages has not yet come to the forefront here in the United States, we only have to look to this example in the Netherlands to realize that someday we will likely face it.

One of the arguments against legalizing homosexual marriage is that there is no logical stopping point. If marriage is redefined to accommodate same-sex couples, why can’t it be redefined to accommodate the polygamous relationship of a man and two women? Or how about two men, five women and another person who isn’t sure their gender? And if it is redefined to accommodate these sexual preferences, why can’t it then be redefined to accommodate bestiality, incest, or even, eventually, consensual pedophilia?

And then there’s the guy in Australia who recently wanted to marry his television. What about his rights to marry anyone, or in this case any thing, he chooses?

Either marriage is between a man and a woman or it isn’t. If it is not, then there’s no logical argument that can be made to limit it to any particular couples or groups.

The timeless institution of marriage between one man and one woman is the foundation for building healthy families. For the sake of future generations, we cannot afford to tamper with it.

Ashland in Autumn

Hike up to Beacon Hill


Panoramic Views


Kev and I agree – the MOST fun thing we did was cruise around the Abel’s property (2,000 mountainous acres) on the Four-Wheeler. I can’t remember the last time I’ve had that much fun. :)

Ashland Part II

This one’s for Braiden – (Sorry but I couldn’t get him to kiss it!)


Someday I will tell my grandkids – “See, I really am cool.”


Relishing autumn in Ashland.

Ashland Part III

Love those colors!


“Wouldn’t you know it – my mom forgot my hat. That is a very bad thing to do for a baby when it is so cold outside.”


"But my dad kept me all snuggly and warm."


Cute downtown Ashland, OR – We also went up to Medford to check out the original Harry and David store which was very impressive, by the way.


Amy tries the famed Lithium water of Ashland – this is a naturally carbonated water that is piped in from local springs and tastes like raw eggs.


Globe Theatre replica – Ashland is all about Shakespeare!


Snapshot of Mount Shasta – taken from the car on the trip home.

Especially Glad

Today, for reasons which I cannot say, I am especially thankful that God is sovereign. If we knew all the facts (like God does) we would choose what He has for us every time. This is reassuring when certain things happen that I would not have naturally chosen. Since God is infinite, and I am merely finite, I’m glad He’s the one who is behind the steering wheel.

“A man’s heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.” - Proverbs 16:9

I’m glad that God ultimately controls the responses of other people:

“The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD; Like the rivers of water, He turns it wherever He wishes.” - Proverbs 21:1

And I’m glad that, as His child, He has my best interests at heart:

“For the LORD God is a sun and shield;The LORD will give grace and glory; No good thing will He withhold From those who walk uprightly.” - Psalm 84:11

Mums, Pumpkins, and Little Smiles

Kevin’s grandma sent us an e-mail last week and mentioned that they had decorated their porch with mums and pumpkins. After hearing about this, I was inspired to do a little fall decorating myself. Even in California, where we only have two seasons – sunshine and rain, it’s still possible to relish the best of each traditional season by bringing out some festive décor.

So, yesterday I went to WalMart to buy some mums and pumpkins too. (The pumpkins should be okay but I’m not sure about the mums, considering my history of killing plants.) While I wheeled the cart up and down the aisles at WalMart, Meredith kept staring and me and breaking into smiles. This, of course, made it dreadfully difficult to concentrate on my errands. I kept stopping my cart to lean my face close to her, smile back, and talk to her. Then she would smile bigger. I know I’m her mom and, of course, I always think she’s cute … but this was especially cute.

Stay-at-home-moms talk about one of the “downsides” being the fact that no one appreciates you. Yesterday I never felt more appreciated and loved in all my life.

Speaking of “happy” babies, last Saturday was a milestone for Meredith ‘cuz she laughed for the first time when Kevin accidentally dropped a toy. He then proceeded to drop it over and over again, which caused her to repeatedly laugh each time it fell to the floor. It’s great to know your kid has a sense of humor. This is strictly necessary if she’s going to live under the same roof as me.

Rain and A New Scale

On days like yesterday I am once again reminded what a crazy person I am. It rained for the first time here since April and I stood out on the back patio for nearly ten minutes with a huge smile on my face while I let the rain completely soak my clothes and hair. It was a glorious moment. It truly was.

There’s a Frank Sinatra song that goes “she hates California, it’s cold and it’s damp …” I never got that song. It’s stumped me for years.

One of the things I loathe about California is that it never rains in the summer. But, then again, one of the things I love about California is that it never rains in the summer. Basically – I’m both crazy and confused.

Oh, and I must tell you … yesterday we also purchased our first scale. The Koons household now joins the rest of America and owns a weight-watching device. We are starting to realize (gasp!) that, as we reach our late twenties, our metabolism is beginning to wane and fade. And this realization has stricken us with a much deeper sense of responsibility as of late. Thus … the scale.

It’s kinda sad once you get to that point in life when you realize you’ll never be able to take an Oreo cookie for granted ever again. I remember those careless days of youth when I was able to binge without any consequences. Well, I think those days are finally past. And maybe that’s a good thing. Leading a disciplined life is always a good thing … probably.

That’s what I’m telling myself, anyway.

I think I need to go back to kindergarten …

The other day I went to the store to buy thank-you notes for Meredith’s last shower, since I’d run out. It’s like getting married all over again – just when you think you’re done writing thank-you notes, there’s a whole new group of them to write. (I’m not complaining tho’ – I really do appreciate people’s generosity.)

Anyway … I saw some cute ones with pink flowers that said “thank you” on the front. Since I thought they looked proper for a little girl’s thank-you notes, I bought them. Today as I started to write, I noticed that they said “thinking of you” – not “thank you”! I’m such a retard. I can’t even read.

Speaking of not being able to do basic things … last night Kevin asked me to play Cribbage with him. For the record: I hate Cribbage. I think the main reason I hate Cribbage is because it makes me feel like a loser. Although I really enjoyed math in school (honest!), for some reason, I can never seem to be able to add up the points on my cards when I play Cribbage. Kevin has to constantly help me out every single time we play that wretched game. He has to remind me of all the ways to add up to “15.” … “Amy, just look for groups of either six and nine or … blah, blah, blah.”

I seriously need to look into going back to elementary school. Do they offer elementary school classes online? Or maybe I can get some books and homeschool myself?

Hurricane Names

In light of Katrina and Rita, I have been wondering why and how hurricanes are named. Today Kev sent me a link, written right at my intelligence level, to help me understand these things.

In case any of you are curious too, here's the link: Hurricane Names

“May it please the court …”

Yesterday I parked the car and ran four blocks - in my heels - to the downtown courthouse. I was slightly worried I wouldn’t make Kevin’s hearing on time. Yesterday Kevin presented oral arguments before the California Court of Appeals, 3rd District. It was his first time making appellate arguments and I wanted to be there!

Thankfully Kevin’s case was the second one up - so I wasn’t late. As I walked through the doors into the courtroom, I was struck with a sense of awe. The courtroom was large and majestic with tall marble pillars, carved woodwork, and a gold painted ceiling. I saw Kevin seated just past the “bar” awaiting his turn to speak to the justices. I took a seat against the wall behind him.

As I sat there in this particular hall of justice, I was reminded how much I love the law. I’m tremendously grateful that I was able to study law for four years, especially in the United States. Although there’s a lot of craziness in our legal system these days, I still believe that we have the best system possible.

Needless to say (what else did I expect?), Kevin did a fabulous job. He was articulate and organized. He took every question from the justices head-on and it was obvious he knew what he was talking about. At one point, one of the justices asked, “But hasn’t California traditionally been a ‘fence-out’ state?” [meaning that ranchers have to put fences on their property if they want to keep cattle off it]. I held my breath hoping Kevin would know the answer and he immediately responded, “Yes, in 1850 …” Whew! But that’s how Kevin is – he wraps his mind around something and he’s good at defending his arguments. [Feel sorry for me – I usually lose all of our “arguments” at home!]

Another thing Kevin is good at is analogies. He used several compelling analogies yesterday to explain his case and help the justices to fully understand his arguments. “Yes, your honor, but I think a good way to understand this is to think of a swimming pool …”

I heard a cute story, from Kevin’s childhood, how his little sister Megan cried at his kindergarten graduation and said, “I’m just so proud of him.” Well, now it’s my turn to be proud of him. And I’m so glad I get that opportunity. [Kevin, I love being your wife.]

I can TOTALLY relate!

I can completely relate to this woman:

“I've been trying to get a good snap of Violet smiling. So about ten times a day I lay her down and start poking her belly and tickling under her arms. ‘Funny baby! Ha ha ha!’ I repeat like a moron. Violet stares at me, and then her face creases into an absolutely enchanted smile, drool hanging from the corners of her lips, toothless gums exposed. I swiftly bring up the camera, focus it, press the button, and — once again she's become mesmerized by the lens and is staring stoically right into it. I may have 100 images of her with the flat, level gaze of a baby transfixed by a camera lens.” – Joyce Lollar

But, finally … here are two victories!

Ugly Woman Sues

This was a topic of conversation at the dinner table last night. Kev and I both agree – we don’t know who is more to blame, Extreme Makeover or Ms. Williams. In any event, the allegations in her lawsuit are unbelievable.

While these makeover shows are obviously of interest to the public (they wouldn’t be on air if they weren’t), I’m dismayed at the message they send to young women about their value and self-worth.

"That's Piglet!"

Kevin thinks it’s funny that I like to collect cereal box tops to redeem a prize. For three months this past summer I made him eat Raisin Bran (I don’t like it but he does) in order to get a free DVD. I had several choices of which DVD I wanted and opted for 12 Angry Men with Henry Fonda. (I probably should have let Kevin pick since he’s the one who had to eat the cereal, huh?) Anyway … the DVD finally came in the mail a few weeks ago and last night we watched it.

As soon as Juror #2 opened his mouth to speak, Kevin exclaimed, “That’s Piglet!”

“Huh?”

“That’s the voice of Piglet from Winnie the Pooh!”

I was somewhat skeptical but was also amused that Kevin was so astute in his knowledge and recollection of cartoon voices.

As soon as the movie was over, Kevin got online to prove that he was right. Sure enough, John Fielder not only played Juror #2 in 12 Angry Men, he also was the voice of Piglet in Winnie the Pooh. His debut as Piglet was in 1968 and his latest movie as Piglet was in 2005. In case you were wondering, that is.

Saying Goodbye

It seems like life is cyclical with regard to meeting people, becoming friends, becoming good friends, and then having to say goodbye. This past weekend we said goodbye to good friends at our church who are moving to New Mexico for a job opportunity. It’s always hard to part ways with friends, knowing you won’t see them again for a long time – and, in some cases, maybe never again here on earth. One of the great things about heaven has got to be the fact that there is a permanency of fellowship. No more saying goodbyes!

Sharing the bond of friendship with others makes life so much more rich and rewarding. I’m glad that we were able to know Richard and Charity for these past few years. As I look back on the various chapters of life, and the various friends we’ve known in each chapter, I’m filled with gratitude for the people God has put in our lives to share the journey by our side.

Unforeseen Delight

Am I the only one out there who has so many adventures at the grocery store? Yesterday I locked my keys in the car after I had finished unloading all my groceries into the trunk. Fortunately I had the baby with me (i.e., she wasn’t in the car). That would’ve been a nightmare, for sure.

The first thing I did (like I usually do whenever I find myself in trouble) is call Kevin. Unfortunately Kevin was in the middle of a moot court (his first appellate arguments are next week!). So, I left a message with his receptionist and then dug through my wallet to see if we had any kind of roadside assistance with our insurance company.

YES we do have roadside assistance; yet another thing to be glad about.

The lady with our roadside assistance asked me for the address of the grocery store. Because I didn’t have this on hand, I walked inside to customer service to get it. While the kind man behind the desk was writing out the address for me, Meredith started crying. It was past time for her to eat and I knew she would be hungry soon. Then … my cell phone started beeping that it would soon be out of batteries.

That was a trying moment in my life – juggling my near-dead, beeping phone, attempting to communicate with the man behind the counter and the lady speaking in my ear, with Meredith contributing a penetrating background noise, all while coping with the realization that my cheese and milk were spoiling in the trunk and I wasn’t going to get anything productive done for the rest of the afternoon.

Somehow [God’s grace] I made it through that moment.

Soon Meredith and I were sitting on a bench outside the grocery store while I attempted to feed her in the midst of a very bustling environment. At this time, the tow truck company called to let me know it would be nearly two hours before they could get to me. Argh … Patience has never been my virtue, I’m afraid. Maybe God ordained all of these to teach me that I should have more of it?

After Meredith was done eating, she sat in my lap and smiled and flirted with every person who walked by (a lot of people). She seemed to like sitting outdoors and, at this point, the breeze was very cool and enjoyable. So, I decided that this waiting for the tow-truck wasn’t so bad after all. Practically every elderly person stopped before entering the store to chat with Meredith and give her compliments. And, of course, they wanted to tell us all about their own grandchildren and great-grandchildren. One lady was from Russia and she told us she has ten grandchildren. Another lady talked to us for about five minutes while waiting for her husband to park their car. She was happy to tell us that her granddaughter just had twin boys … “but she had to use a surrogate mom for health reasons,” she said. Another man smiled a toothless smile and asked if Meredith was a boy. Another woman asked if I thought her eyes would stay blue and couldn’t believe she was only ten weeks old.

And to think it was only because of my scatterbrained stupidity that I was able to get the chance to meet so many pleasant people.

So, what I thought would be a bad experience – being stuck somewhere I didn’t want to be for an extended time – turned out to be quite enjoyable.

I wonder how many other “unchangeable” things in life would be significantly more agreeable if I would just embrace it rather than bemoaning and resisting it.

It turns out that Kevin called me after moot court and was able to come rescue me a half-hour earlier than the tow-truck could come. I always love an excuse to see Kevin mid-day. Maybe I should “accidentally” lock my keys in the car more often. [Just kidding, Kev.]

Incredible Times

Breaking news: Federal Judge Rules Pledge Unconstitutional

Can you believe a restraining order has been issued ordering that certain public school children in California may not recite the Pledge of Allegiance?!

Is this not incredible? Is there any doubt we are now fully a post-Christian nation? Does anyone else wonder what the repercussions will be for our posterity?

The North Beach Diet

When you come across a book where the cover itself makes you laugh for ten minutes, you have got to buy it. And that’s what I did the other day while in a book store. I’m not sure if it was the book itself being so funny or just the fact that it really caught me off guard … I can definitely appreciate a humorous take on the whole dieting craze.

The North Beach Diet
“NEW! All-Carb Diet * All-Fat Diet * We Want to Plump You Up!”
Add Belly and Hip Fat Instantly with Batter-Fried Twinkies & More …
Over 60 High Calorie Recipes Made with lots of Butter, Refined Sugar, White Flour and Chocolate – Virtual Exercise: NordicSnack, Pie-lates, “Relaxin’ To the Oldies”

The “before and after” pictures are great. The thin “before” pictures show the model with a sad, depressed look on their face (don’t they always do this with “before” pics?). The plump “after” pictures show the model very happy and pleased, while eating potato chips, etc.

“Krispy Kreme Donuts, Caramel Popcorn, Sara Lee Pound Cake with Ben & Jerry’s Triple Chocolate Cookie Crunch … it was darn tough for us to make up our minds which of these favorites to consume while watching late night TV. The North Beach Diet showed us how we could get them all by simple planning.” -- A testimonal.

The book is filled with adds: “Win a 7-day all-you-can-eat cruise” … “Chubby Cheribs: A summer camp for thin kids. (Hope for the thin child.)” … “Queer Eye for the Thin Guy.” Etc.

And, yes, there really is a recipe in the book for “Batter-Fried Twinkies.”

Tourists In Our Own Town

At the Stanford Mansion. All the museums in Sacramento were free last weekend to celebrate California's statehood. It was actually quite fun to be a tourist in our own town for a change!


Amy in Old Town Sacramento, a place that takes you back in time to the days of the Wild West.


Pic-nic lunch with the Chadwicks outside the Railroad Museum.


Papa and Meredith at the Railroad Museum. (Meredith said to tell you: “Who says it’s only boys who like trains?”)

Meredith Pics

"Didn't my mom tell you that I really love my tongue?"


"I'm all tuckered out after that very long, and very bouncy, walk."

The Terror of Children

[Thought-provoking article from Peggy Noonan this week – if you have time the entire piece is worth reading. But usually all of Noonan is worth reading.]

“The [Katrina] stories that pierce my heart involve the terror of children. And the one that hit me the most was the story of the 6-year-old boy found wandering over a bridge with six younger children. Most of the kids were too young even to know their names. The 6-year-old was carrying a 15-month-old infant. They were taken in and cared for by strangers, by nurses; and ultimately all their parents were found. But we forget the terror of children. Adults, even the dimmest of them, can calculate and think up strategies, even if they're bad ones. They can feel and know it's a feeling. But with young children it's all impressions, they can't think it through. They have a natural, primal will to survive, but beyond that they're helpless, it's all wet and cold and the way momma's face looked when the radio said everyone's leaving.

“One of the things I have been thinking about is how children take their cues from the adults around them. If the adults are enraged and screaming, children become scared and learn that the way to respond to frustration and pressure is with screaming and rage. If no one's in charge, children can tell. If no one is leading, children can tell. If no one is caring for them they infer they aren't worthy of care.

“It is hard to be a parent at any time, but to be a parent in a life-or-death crisis is brutal. It is hard to give children what they need when you're overwhelmed yourself. It's hard, when you're afraid, to talk to children gently and listen to them, really hear them, so you can figure out what they're really telling you when they ask a surprising or seemingly illogical question. It takes patience not to work out your frustration or terror or pessimism on them, but to show instead forbearance, or frankly fake it if you have to. And to show optimism and faith—‘We'll be OK, don't you worry’-- because optimism and faith can become a habit, they are communicable, and the habit of optimism and faith allows children to trust life, to enter it steadily and have confidence in it.

“It is exhausting being a parent under trying circumstances. It is probably the hardest thing in the world. But on such things nations rise and fall, endure or falter.

“And no one says thank you, or rather no one has videotape of your heroism and replays it in a loop. But for parents in the Superdome and Astrodome, for parents living with children in somebody's spare room, for parents in a motel room crammed with three generations of a family, from the old and frightened to the young and colicky--for those who lost everything and yet are still functioning as parents--well, please consider this a small salute from far away. A small attempt to recognize, and honor. You're saving a country, too.”

It’s Chili Weather! Huh?

So … I’m on several recipe e-mail lists to get various seasonal recipe ideas and menu planning suggestions. I find that it makes both cooking and menu planning a lot more fun to try at least one or two new things every week. Today I got an e-mail that read, “It’s Chili Weather!”

Obviously the person who wrote this e-mail doesn’t live in Sacramento. It’s still “Ice Cream Weather” in Sacramento. (But when isn’t it ice cream weather, eh?)

Fall is my favorite season. I’ve been looking longingly at my sweaters for nearly a month now. Maybe it’s the fact that I love wearing sweaters or maybe it’s just that I’m ready to start wearing different clothes in my wardrobe. Not sure.

Since it looks like we’ll still be wearing shorts and flip-flops for a while here in Sacramento, I’ll just have to be content with making lots of pumpkin and apple recipes to put me in the autumn mood.

Oh, and apparently I need to make some chili too.

Decisions, Decisions

The other day Kevin and I were talking about how, even in just three years of marriage, it’s become a lot easier to make decisions together. In fact, I can’t even remember the last time we disagreed with each other on something that’s really significant. We recalled a few rough-edged moments in our early marriage where we had a tough time moving forward on decisions. Like most females, I wanted to talk through issues (i.e., “think outloud” together) to find resolution, regardless of the fact that I didn’t yet know of any solution. Like most males, Kevin wanted to first think through the problem, figure out potential solutions, then discuss it when he had plausible answers to bring to the table. I remember talking on the phone with my dad during this time (not that I ever recommend taking marital issues independently to your parent) and he told me, “It’s amazing how much easier it’s gotten for your mom and I to make decisions over the years. It’s because we’ve grown together and have come to think much more alike.” At the time, that sounded like a rather nice state of being – to think just like your spouse and make decisions as “one.” Although you become “one” when you marry, that doesn’t mean you always act as one, unfortunately.

Anyway, it’s nice to see that we’ve made a little progress in our marital relationship, even though it’s still in its embryonic stages. Something that was once a near-daily issue is now something we take for granted. Isn’t it funny how life is like that sometimes? The cares of yesterday aren’t even on our minds today?

Government to the Rescue

I was listening to O’Reilly last night while making dinner and he was talking about how the City of New Orleans acted irresponsibly by issuing an evacuation order and not providing transportation for the upwards of 100,000 persons in the city without an automobile. I realize it’s a tragedy what has happened in New Orleans. But where do we draw the line in expecting the government to take care of its citizens? What is the proper role of the government here? Is it to consistently rescue people from their own choices?

I know a lot of people out there probably already think that I’m a callous, cold-hearted bastard and this will only add fuel to the fire – but I really don’t think that the city of New Orleans should be faulted here.

Meredith Update

Well, the doctor said today that she is in the 75th percentile for weight and the 90th for height. Shocker! (I don’t think we needed the doctor to tell us she’ll be tall.)

The most amazing thing about having a baby is experiencing a new kind of nurturing love. I knew this would happen but wasn’t quite prepared for all its side effects. Every time she smiles at me with her bright blue eyes, my heart completely melts.

The latest news is that she’s totally enthralled with her tongue. She’s constantly playing with it and it’s quite hysterical. She also has discovered her hands and she loves to “stand” by stiffening her legs when we hold her. She’s a lot of work for mommy (and daddy too, when he’s home) but she’s pure joy.

What will you do with your obstacles?

There are two kinds of people in this life – those who choose to live with their obstacles (either because they are lazy or fearful) and those who choose to work hard to overcome their obstacles because they want a better life. Obviously we all have limitations; but there are very few limitations in life that cannot be overcome by hard work and determination. I know this from personal experience and also from the experiences of others.

What I don’t understand are people who lose their vision for what they want in life because life becomes hard. These people resign themselves to an undesirable fate because they are unwilling to think outside the box, face challenges, and do things that may not be very “comfortable” for a few years or, heck, maybe a lot of years.

Life is difficult. In order to get the best of life, you will have to sacrifice. It’s something called “deferred gratification.” You do something that may be a lot harder in the short-term because you know it will be worth it in the end. You forgo the cheesecake in order to have that waistline you want. You work hard to pass the tests in order to get a degree and have a better job. You go without a boyfriend for a while in order to wait for the right guy to marry. You treat your husband properly, regardless of how you feel toward him at the moment, in order to have a good marriage. You make lifestyle choices and sacrifices in order to have children, a gift from the Lord. The list could go on and on …

It’s often very difficult to get what you ultimately want from life. But the longer I live the more I understand that the things in life that are the most precious and the most rewarding are the things that you have to sacrifice the most for.

Why would you be satisfied with your mediocre life, just because it’s your comfort zone, when you could taste something better if only you would allow yourself to be uncomfortable for a time? Why are you content to live in the valley when you could know the mystery of the hills (if only you would sell your goods, strap on your hiking boots, and perspire a little)?

Don’t allow problems to define your life. Take your problems, overcome them, and someday you will look back with fulfillment and reward, knowing that you are a better person because you overcame your problems.

Life is too short to spend it without realizing your dreams.

[These are some thoughts I have after a particular conversation I had this past weekend. I’m amazed at how many people “settle” in the game of life. ALL of us will have obstacles and difficulties in this life. It’s what we do with those obstacles that define our character and how we will live. My philosophy is that, in order to live well and have no regrets, we must overcome obstacles vs. letting the obstacles shape our path and our lives.]

Plane rides ... and other incidental things.

I now have a lot more sympathy and understanding for parents who take their infants on plane rides. This past weekend was Meredith’s first time on an airplane. It was only an hour-long flight down to L.A. to see family and I’m grateful she was able to “cut her [nonexistent] teeth” on a short plane ride vs. a cross-country flight. Kevin and I both were apprehensive because we (along with probably everyone else reading this blog) have experienced those flights with babies screaming uncontrollably for what seems like the entire journey. And, although no one is quite as consternated as the parents when a baby cries, there are always other passengers who seem quite put-off by it. I think any parent who possesses ordinary decency (and we, hopefully, fall into that category) worries about their baby disturbing others on a flight.

Having now experienced my first plane ride with a baby in my care, all future plane rides will never quite be the same. It’s hard to explain but there’s a certain mental preoccupation and an inability to completely relax when you have a baby on an airplane. You’re in this constricted environment, being solely responsible for a very unpredictable human being, with circumstances you can’t control (such as changing air pressure, etc.). Anyway, Meredith did very well and only cried for a few seconds on the return trip, but it was, nonetheless, a slightly nerve-wracking experience. Maybe the next flight won’t be so bad because I’ll have gained confidence from this last one. Here’s hoping!
_____________________

On to another subject … Every time I fly into L.A., which has been quite a few times in my life, I never cease to be amazed by how massive and sprawling it is. There’s cement and construction as far as the eye can see, only interrupted for the mountains and, of course, the ocean. I always find myself gazing at it in wonderment. You’d think that it’d be old-news by now but I still find it fascinating.

We had a good time introducing Meredith to family and friends. We were given a shower for her and it was great to see many faces from various segments of my past. (And I don’t think we’re going to have to buy any clothes for her until sometime next spring!)

We also enjoyed a trip to the seashore and watching David boogie-board for an hour or so. He provided much entertainment for us. Every time he caught a wave, and rode it all the way into the beach, we spectators would applaud. And then he would jump up and down waving his arms in victory. What a funny guy. The water was rather cold yesterday and he was the only one willing to fully submerge himself. I love my brother. He has a great attitude toward life (he loves it to the fullest extent of anyone I’ve ever met) and he also gives great hugs and back massages. Such fantastic accomplishments for a ten-year-old boy.

We also saw Christy’s new apartment. She’s just moved to North Hollywood to be closer to both school and work. My little sister is all grown up! Since when did that happen?

Incredible Quote

Here's an amazing quote by Harry Connick, Jr., a native of New Orleans, regarding the current chaos in his city:

"In my heart of hearts, I think one of the reasons New Orleans is New Orleans is because of the spirit of the people ... Things are very desperate here. If I grew up in conditions like that with no hope, I might have to go out and steal me a plasma TV. Maybe in some strange way this will be a motivation for the city to be more equal in some way."

Can looting ever be justified? How can anyone believe that, if you're poor, stealing a plasma TV is acceptable? What about the poor people of New Orleans who have character and integrity and wouldn't do something like that, regardless of the opportunity? Do we, honestly, have a poverty problem? Or is it a character problem?

World Traveler Sister

One more thing today and then I've gotta get busy doing productive things. :)

This morning we talked with Megan in China! Kevin, apparently, had insomnia at 4 o'clock a.m. and got online to find out how much a pre-paid international phone card would cost. He found some deal where we could call China for less than one cent per minute, or five bucks for nine hours (way to go, Kev!), and then decided to call his sister. It was great to talk to her and we are glad to hear that things are going well. You can keep up with her adventures on her ChinaMeg blog.

"Every day I'm learning and growing."

"I love playing with my dad (all of the time)."

"I love my carseat (most of the time)."

Playing Cards (We've been doing a lot of this ...)

New Church Experience

On Sunday we went to a baptism for a good friend and her daughter to support our friend in her public profession of faith. It was a beautiful time and we’re glad we had the opportunity to be there. When she was asked if she trusted in Christ alone for her salvation, she enthusiastically replied “absolutely.”

And then we sat through the rest of the church service …

This particular church is a large, well-known Christian church that is active in the community. The sermon was about growing a church.

First of all, let me say, that I don’t think it’s wrong to want your church to grow and be a vibrant, strong body of believers. But I do think it’s interesting that some churches make growing in numbers such a major focus. After all, don’t the scriptures teach that it’s Christ Himself who builds the church? (Matt. 16:18) While we can be loving and welcoming of new people, and we certainly should share our faith with others and invite them to church, it’s not our primary responsibility to grow our church. That belongs to God.

Anyway … the most amazing thing about the sermon was that the pastor only referenced ONE verse out of the bible, somewhere in the middle of his talk. And then, to top it off, the verse was quoted incorrectly! (Kevin happened to have the verse memorized and later pointed this out to me. I guess that’s why it’s important to memorize scripture – in case your pastor gets it wrong??)

This experience made us extremely grateful that we go to a solid, bible-teaching church where, every week, we feel we are immersed in the Word. There is no “perfect church” here on earth – I don’t believe we’ll experience that until heaven – but at least we have a church that values God’s Word and actually USES it in their worship service!

Struggles of the Day

The past few days I’ve discovered I have a very low tolerance for children who do not finish their food. It would be one thing if I gave Melissa a big plate of squash and she didn’t eat it all. It’s another thing if she pours herself a bowl of cereal (sugar cereal that she picked out at the grocery store, I might add) and then eats only half of it. And this is the third day in a row that’s happened. In fact, I don’t think she’s finished anything I’ve given to her the entire time she’s been here.

I’m trying to be understanding of the fact that Melissa is in a different environment and she’s also missing my mom. But I’m having a hard time with it. She’s also been sick and is just now recovering. So I know she deserves a little more grace ‘cuz of that, too.

Today, when I saw that Melissa had poured herself a heaping bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and an equally healthy serving of milk to go with it, I told her that she was expected to eat all of it. She nodded her head in agreement. A half hour later, I noticed that she’d abandoned her cereal bowl and it was still halfway full. At the time, she was sitting on the couch watching Little House on the Prairie. I took her the bowl of cereal and told her that she would have to finish it. At the end of the program, I walked back in the room and noticed that it was still sitting on her lap, untouched. I reminded her, again, that she was going to have to eat it … all of it. She looked up at me with her beautiful brown eyes and said, “But I don’t like soggy cereal.”

“And whose fault is it that it’s soggy?” I replied. “C’mon, take a bite. Eat it now.”

About 45 minutes later, the status quo remained. By now the milk was entirely warm and the cereal had practically disintegrated into the milk.

I could have taken the hard line with her, again, but I decided to give her a little slack … at least for this one (last) time. “Melissa, if you promise me that, for the rest of the time you’re here, you will eat every bite and every sip of what I give you, then I’ll let you toss your cereal. Or what used to be cereal.” Her eyes lit up at this compromise.

[Maybe I’m just a wuss. Maybe I should’ve made her eat it. I don’t know. It’s hard to know what to do sometimes. Anyway, we’ll see how it goes … and if she lives up to her end of the bargain.]

Now she’s taking a bath. That was an ordeal too. She didn’t want to wash her hair because “it’s too hard to wash hair.” I offered to wash it for her but she didn’t want me to do it.

“You mean you’re going to go an entire two weeks without washing your hair?” I asked.

“Yes,” she replied.

I told her that was unacceptable and that she would have to do it anyway, regardless of how hard it is.

Sigh …

As much fun as we’re having together, I hope that these few moments of conflict each day don’t make Melissa hate me forever. That must be how parents feel when they are forced to discipline their children – they know it’s for the ultimate good, but it’s hard.

I told Kevin yesterday that I’m not ready to be the parent of an eight year old. Now I know why God allows us to start out with a baby … and take it one phase at a time!

Still Afloat

Okay, I’m still surviving this being surrogate mom for two weeks to my siblings. My sister got sick yesterday to her stomach and has been feeling very ill the past two days. Being sick has made her miss my mom a lot more than I think she normally would. I don’t know if I feel worse for her or my brother. I promised David I’d take him swimming but, with Melissa sick, I can’t leave her and take him out to do anything fun. Since we can’t go anywhere, I’ve been wracking my brain to find fun things to do at home. Today we made cookies, for instance. I was short on butter and told David to use butter-flavored Crisco instead. He gave me this look that said “I don’t know about that.” He then went on to tell me that, if it was like margarine, it was very bad for you because it has chemicals in it. (Since when are ten year old boys into health food? Geesh!)

“But doesn’t grandma use margarine?” I asked (hoping this would allay his fears since, if grandma does it, it must surely be okay).

“Yes, but that’s probably why she has arth-ur-itis,” he replied.

Blissful Sleep!

You know how new parents often can’t talk about anything else other than the fact that “baby slept [insert number] hours last night”? I remember as a teenager being bored out of my mind while a new parent droned on and on about their baby’s sleep habits. Anyway … I think I’ve been pretty good at refraining from blogging on (or talking about) this subject. But today I will blog on it. For two reasons. First, I’m very happy to report that Meredith has slept through the night three nights in a row now. Last night she slept 7 ½ hours. When she woke me up this morning, I couldn’t believe my eyes – the clock read 6:03 a.m. That’s actually a decent time to get up. I feel human again!

Secondly, I bring this up because it segues nicely into the topic of BabyWise. It’s not that I want to drag this out, however. (This will most likely be my last post on this topic.) I know Meredith would not be sleeping through the night (something good for her and for our family) if I had not been using BW principles.

Tulip Girl commented on the post below that she feels women can have milk supply issues because of using BabyWise. I don’t claim to be an expert on why women have milk supply issues but I’m not sure I buy the theory that there’s a proven link. I’m sure there are a range of reasons why you can have milk supply issues. In fact, there was an anonymous commenter (on my post below) who said she used BW for all six of her children and only had milk supply issues with the second. Curious, isn’t it?

And then there are my numerous friends, and acquaintances, who have successfully used BW, nursed their children until they were at least a year old, and haven’t had any milk supply issues. Those success stories are compelling, to me.

I realize many women hate BW and blame it for all their problems. I can only wonder if a) they would have had the same problems with that particular baby regardless of whether they demand fed or used BW or b) it’s possible that they didn’t use enough commonsense to deviate from BW when necessary and that’s why they had problems (in other words, it was the fact that they didn’t realize when they should have made an “exception” in baby’s routine). Speaking of exceptions, I’ve made plenty. In fact, yesterday, I fed Meredith slightly less than three hours all day long because I could tell she was hungry. It’s not like I say, “Oh, it’s 2:47 and you’re not supposed to eat for 13 minutes … too bad, you’ll have to wait.” That’s ridiculous. :-)

Lastly, I would like to share with you a little story that I found online yesterday. Honest, cross my heart, I did not go digging for it. I just happened to see it on a website about child development. It’s a journal of a woman who, apparently, is demand feeding her baby. After reading this account, I feel sorry for this very well-meaning woman. I also feel reassured that I’m doing the right thing for both my child and my family. This is not how I want to live my life … I’d rather spend time cuddling with my baby than having to nurse her to sleep constantly, all day and all night long.

Mommy Meltdown (note: please excuse the language, I wish to keep this a G-rated blog, or at least PG). ;-)

“I think Violet must be going through some kind of growth spurt. Either that or she's trying to kill me, because she's been super-duper grumpy and whiny the past few days. I had a method of putting her to sleep that was failsafe just days ago, but now she's not having it. I lay her down on the bed, lie down beside her, and stick my nipple in her mouth. She sucks until her eyes roll back in her head and she drifts off. Then I swing into action, withdrawing with exquisite slowness, sliding my nipple from her tiny lips, easing her head off my breast, and rolling off the bed with the silent precision of a ninja.

“‘It's like baby Jenga!’ Phil marveled yesterday.

“‘I prefer to think of it as playing Operation,’ I told him.

“I was never any good at that game, and I'm no good at getting away silently, either. The second I sit up and head off to the kitchen to make myself lunch, or attempt to turn on the computer, Secret Agent Violet senses my moves with her super-charged baby Spidey sense and turns on the wails. Dammit. And I know it's going to be at least 15 more minutes of dedicated sucking, with my body curled awkwardly around her on the pillows and my back screaming for relief. Her little face is so tender. My back is so gnarled.

“After a few days of this, I was understandably a little on edge today — which is why I had the meltdown. Violet had been keening for a half-hour for no good reason I could figure out, I was trying awkwardly to unfold the new stroller and lock it so we could leave the damned house, the phone was ringing, and I was operating on about four hours of sleep (we'd had a big night of nursing). …”

All I’m saying is … there must be a better way. I’m very thankful that, as a new parent, I’ve discovered the secrets of BW. It’s brought peace to our home.

And (did I mention this earlier?) ... rest.

Current Challenges

For the next two weeks we're babysitting my brother (10) and sister (8) so my parents can go on an overseas vacation (a dream-trip for my mom). I'm excited about having David and Melissa and the bonding times we'll surely share. They are good kids. In fact, they were both dressed and had their beds neatly made this morning before I even got up! But I know that there will be challenges, too, because of typical sibling rivalry. And then, in addition to spending time with and caring for my siblings, I'll be caring for my six week old baby. And, on top of that, I'm starting work this week again. Yesterday I took Meredith into the office for a staff meeting and then came home and wrote a fundraising letter for my boss. I have several other projects with deadlines this week too.

Didn't someone once say: "Whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger."

The milk is now sour ... the horse has been beaten to death ... how many other ways can I say this?

Okay, this post is directed to two of my loyal fans. (You know who you are.)

While I'm extremely flattered that you, who bill your time very handsomely by the hour, read my blog on a regular basis ...

THE HOME SCHOOL JOKES AND JABS ARE GETTING OLD.

Very sincerely,

AJK

My Two Favorite People ... :-)

BabyWise

I definitely stand by my assertion that BabyWise is a wonderful program. But, like everything else in life, you have to use it with your mind engaged. There will be times when you deviate from the “norm” of the BabyWise routine. In fact, BabyWise explicitly states that in its pages. If you are a person who is not capable of using your brain, then I can definitely understand how you could get in trouble trying to follow ANY explicitly laid-out formula.

I believe there are basically two things you “have to do” in order to follow the BabyWise plan and the rest is negotiable. First, don’t let your baby snack all the time – make sure s/he gets a good full meal and then has a break before the next meal. Sometimes, when your baby goes through a growth spurt, the meals will be more frequent (i.e., two hours instead of three). And, guess what (?), Ezzo says that in his book. This seems to be a commonsense approach – it helps to regulate baby’s metabolism and establish healthy eating habits for later on. Plus, it allows baby to get the hind-milk which is richer in nutrients.

One more note on this – healthy babies shouldn’t be hungry less than two hours from the last feeding if they are getting “full meals.” My opinion is that moms who demand-feed tend to offer the breast a lot more frequently when their baby cries and this is often not the solution the baby needs. I feel like BabyWise has given me the confidence to stop and think about WHY my baby might be crying without simply offering the breast as a soothing device each time she starts to cry. Thus, I think that BabyWise has helped me to better meet the needs of my child. Also, it’s made Kevin and I a better “team” in problem-solving to help our baby. He has taken a proactive role in helping me to figure out what’s wrong when otherwise it would be easy for me to offer the breast each time (if I were demand-feeding) and leave him out of the loop.

The second principle of “Basic BabyWise” is to make sure your baby has an “awake time,” after each daytime feeding, before taking his/her nap. This allows baby to learn to fall asleep on his/her own without getting used to always falling asleep on the breast or being rocked to sleep. Again, I think this is commonsense. It also allows for your baby to be awake when s/he has a full belly and is more content. And, apparently, it helps baby to learn to sleep through the night when s/he is put straight to bed with no awake time. (Meredith’s sleeping five hours at night right now … still waiting for the day when it’s eight!)

That’s BabyWise in a nutshell.

As far as holding and cuddling with your baby, I just don’t understand how people can allege that Ezzo is “against” holding and cuddling with infants. Meredith and I have a lot of cuddle and play time throughout the day when she is having her “awake time.” Yes, there are many times when I rock her to sleep or even take a nap with her. But, that’s not the normal routine so that it becomes a pattern that she expects and is hard to break later on. Tracy Hogg (author of the excellent book, Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, which echoes many of Ezzo’s BabyWise philosophies – she calls it “E.A.S.Y.,” Eat/Awake/Sleep/You) states: “Start as you mean to go on.” It may be fun to rock your baby to sleep every time s/he takes a nap (and you should rock your baby to sleep now and then), but you won’t think it’s so fun when your baby demands that this be done in order for him/her to fall asleep and then wakes up and you’re forced to repeat the process. It’s healthier (can anyone argue with this?) for a baby to learn to fall asleep on his/her own. It also gives mom a break so she can tend to her other children and other obligations, etc.

I didn’t decide to blindly follow Ezzo’s teachings on baby routines. I read a lot before Meredith was born from both sides of the aisle. (Dr. Sears is basically polar-opposite to Ezzo, if anyone is interested in reading about the other point of view. He adheres to both demand-feeding and “family bed” ideologies.) BabyWise made sense to me. A friend of mine who is expecting her first child in February recently asked me about BabyWise. I replied: “Read it. If you decide you don’t want to use the concepts in it, that’s fine. You’re the parent and you have to make that call. But, at the very least … read it.”

Many things to enjoy ...

Yesterday we had a semi-philosophical discussion and it all started with a barbecue-flavored potato chip.

A [munching on the chip]: Just think of all the different flavors out there! It’s incredible the variety of flavors that God created.
K: Yeah, He could have created just one flavor.
A: How boring would that be. (Although, we'd all probably be a lot skinnier.)
K: Everything could taste like … banana.
A: Or broccoli. Ugh.
K: Think of all the colors, too.
A: And textures.
K: And sounds.
A: Yeah, if there weren’t different sounds, there would be no music … and that would be very sad.
K: But you could also look at it this way – if there were only one of something (flavors, sounds, etc.), you would never know what you’re missing. Like, for instance, the bugs that can only see one color.
A: Yet another reason I’m glad I’m not a bug …

"To Do" List

One thing I’ve been amazed about, since having a baby, is how LITTLE I’m able to get done anymore. Who would’ve thought it’d be this time-consuming to take care of a baby? I’d always heard that they sleep a lot. Ha!

Until recently, I’ve always been this super-high energy person who charges through her to-do list with gusto and lightning speed. Now, I’m lucky if I can complete the things that HAVE to be done in a given day, plus one extra thing. Just today, I finally finished writing and addressing thank-you notes for baby gifts. (This has been at least a month-long project.) Now I just have to buy stamps. At the rate I’m going, the remainder of my thank-you notes will get mailed in mid-September! [Sigh …]

Anyway … things are getting better now that Meredith’s settling into a fairly predictable routine. Praise God for BabyWise – my ultimate lifesaver these days … I don’t care what kinds of horrible things people have to say about it online, all the people I know who’ve used it, including myself, have greatly benefited from it. PTL.

Elmo

Okay, I just watched thirty minutes of Elmo on Sesame Street while feeding Meredith. And, actually, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. (I even laughed outloud a few times!) I found Elmo to be a very fascinating individual and I can see why kids around the globe adore him.

Okay ... I'm still trying to figure out all the ramifications of my so immensely enjoying watching Sesame Street. Maybe this is concrete proof that I'm still a kid at heart.

Anyone else?

Anyone else out there sick of the media frenzy surrounding Cindy Sheehan? Why is this madness even getting coverage? Talk about imbalance in the press.

What about the military parents who support the president (probably the majority of them)? Maybe the reason they don't get coverage is because they are actually working, taking care of their families, quietly grieving, and moving on as best as they can, with patriotism in their hearts, not wanting to do anything to dismay our troops or encourage the enemy.

And then there's Cindy Sheehan. Ugh. Makes me sick.

Ethics Over Tea

This morning my friend Mandy came over for tea. Mandy is a physician currently doing her residency in pediatrics. I was very interested to hear her tell me of all the ethical dilemmas she faces daily and how it’s often difficult to work with discernment in the medical field. She specifically raised the issue of premature infants and when it’s okay to withhold medical treatment, knowing they’ll die. I asked if it isn’t up to the parents to decide what type of treatment their child receives. She said yes, but, she can greatly influence their decisions by what she tells them.

One of the reasons I couldn’t be a physician, especially to tiny babies, is that I would become too emotionally involved in my patients’ lives. (This is the same reason I would never be a family law attorney.) Every day, Mandy watches tiny babies die. I don’t know how she can do it.

Although many of Mandy’s stories are heart-wrenching, she also has some incredibly funny stories about the kids she works with. For instance, the ones who come into the ER because they’ve swallowed small objects. The doctor asks: “What did you do with that quarter?” The child replies: “I ate it.”

Anyway … I enjoyed my visit with Mandy this morning. I’m grateful God has brought this lovely friend into my life. And it was great to have tea with a friend on a Monday morning. Since when has that happened in my life? Like NEVER.

Green Roses

On Friday night we went to a gorgeous wedding followed by an incredibly fun dinner reception. The most beautiful thing about the wedding was the flowers and the large dripping ivory candles. The flowers were white roses that had been dyed mostly green, with some white peeping through. They were bundled with a large assortment of greenery and some green berries, and tied with a lime green ribbon. It was stunning. (In fact, I spent the first ten minutes of the wedding bemoaning the fact that I forgot my camera!)

After dinner, most of the young people hit the dance floor. Meredith was asleep in her infant seat at the time and an older man we knew offered to watch her so we could dance.

On the dance floor, we spotted our pastor. (It was his daughter who got married.) Kevin remarked how weird it is to see your pastor dance. Maybe it's just the fact that neither of us can imagine any of our other pastors, at any of the other churches we've gone to, dancing. But, I think it's great when pastors dance. [Okay, I'm going to shut up now ... because this paragraph is quickly getting retarded … ]

Anyway, it was fun to have an excuse to wear black tie and have an evening out. And we were very glad to be able to help celebrate the joyous marriage of our friends Al and Ruth.

Boxer on Roberts

I was hoping (wishful thinking, I know) that it wouldn’t come down to this but it looks like the abortion debate will take center stage in Roberts’ confirmation process. Today I read the following statements by my beloved [cough] U.S. Senator, Barbara Boxer:

- She fears that a more conservative court could lead "to the days of back alley illegal abortions." Why is it that pro-aborts always have to use this outrageous argument to get sympathy? They want you to believe that 13 year old girls are going to have to use coat-hangers to kill their babies to get you to support their cause. This is such an unbelievable attempt to claim the moral high ground!

- She needs to know “whether he would fight to protect the rights and freedoms of the American people.” First of all, it most be noted that Ms. Boxer thinks you’re a person only if you happen to be all the way out of the birth canal.

- She thinks that "this one vote means so much to countless women." And, you know what, she’s absolutely right. It has harrowing significance to an innumerable amount of women and girls, both born and preborn.

If liberals didn’t have to consistently use judicial activism to get their own way on policy matters, this fight wouldn’t mean so much to them. The fact that they must rely on jurists in black robes to rewrite the Constitution to get what they want speaks volumes of how bitter this confirmation process is going to be.

Thought for the day ...

"A good man is hard to find, not to keep. That sentence should really make you stop and think … I’ve got to tell you how remarkably sad it is that so many women struggle to hold on to a jerk, keep giving an abusive or philandering man yet another chance, have unprotected sex with some guy while barely knowing his last name, agree to shack up and risk making babies with some opportunist or loser, all in a pathetic version of a pursuit for love, but will resent the hell out of treating a decent, hardworking, caring husband with the thoughtfulness, attention, respect, and affection he needs to be content.”

That’s a quote from The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. And, actually, it's a really good book - I think every wife should read it. Even if you already have a good marriage, it can only make it better. The book is not so much about men, but about women, and the power they have to create a happy marriage and a happy home.

The above quote is a stark picture of feminist ideology. It’s okay, under feminist thinking, to begrudge a man for expecting certain things from his wife, like fixing meals and taking care of his kids, etc., in the context of a loving family, but women are expected to endure certain abuses from men when it comes to commitment, sexuality, and being taken care of – all in the name of “equality.”

Pretty in Pink

Not sure I like this hat business ...

Lil' Firecracker

Fun Company

Meredith's had lots of company lately! Currently Aunt Megan is in town. And, actually, Megan babysat for Kevin and I last night so we could go to dinner. Although I love Meredith to pieces, it was SO nice to get away for the evening! It was also very weird to be on the "other end" of the babysitting experience. "Okay, Megan, here's her bottle in the fridge ... here's what you do if ... call us if you need us ... etc." Wow ...

Anyway, I haven't had time to post pictures lately but if you want to see a few recent pics, you can go to Megan's blog.

Unspeakable Tragedy

We just learned that some friends in the D.C. area lost their little baby girl to SIDS a few days ago. She was born the day before Meredith. I cannot possibly begin to comprehend the piercing pangs of sorrow that they are experiencing at this moment. I cannot imagine what deep agony it must be to reach for your baby in the night only to realize that she is no longer with you. This is where true faith must come into play, realizing that God is always good, even while trying to understand why He chose to take this precious life so early. "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him." (Job 13:15) Please pray for the Wright family.

Consistency

Does anyone out there know anything about the Catholic church’s view on the account of creation in Genesis? Yesterday I was listening to Bill O’Reilly discuss the President’s statement that public schools should, in the spirit of exposing kids to both sides of a debate, teach intelligent design. O’Reilly stated that the Catholic church, to which he belongs, adopts the view that God used the process of evolution to create mankind. I conducted a brief search online and found that this appears to be true. It would seem to me that you’d have to completely discount the biblical view of creation in Genesis, that God formed Adam and Eve out of dust and Adam’s rib, respectively, if you adopt the view that God set into motion the evolutionary process to create the human race. I realize that other Christians, and Christian organizations, hold this view as well, but it seems rather inconsistent with the scripture. Either you believe what the bible says, or you don’t. What’s with this middle-of-the-road approach? How can we ever suppose to start with human reasoning, try to mix it with God's word, and come up with Truth? Man is finite and God is infinite.

Vows

Yesterday we dug up our wedding vows, which we wrote. If you can believe it, we still have them memorized and will randomly quote them to each other …

K: I, Kevin, take you, Amy, to be my lawfully wedded wife. This is my commitment to you for as long as we both shall live.

A: I, Amy, take you, Kevin, to be my lawfully wedded husband. This is my commitment to you for the rest of our lives.

K: I promise to love you and give myself for you even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her.

A: And I promise to love you and to submit myself to you as unto the Lord.

K: I will love you as my own body. I will nourish you and cherish you, just as the Lord does the Church.

A: You are my head, just as Christ is head of the Church. Therefore, just as the Church is subject to Christ, so I will be subject to you in everything.

K: I promise to take care of you and to provide for you, and to lay down my life for you.

A: I promise to take care of you and cherish you, and to give myself to you.

K: I will put the needs of our family ahead of my career.

A: And I will lay aside my career for our family.

K: I will leave my father and mother, and forsaking all others, I will be loyal to you.

A: And I will be loyal to you. Wherever you go, I will go. And wherever you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God.

K: Amy, I will honor you, listen to you, encourage you, and be your friend and confidant.

A: Kevin, I will honor you, listen to you, encourage you, and be your friend and confidant.

K: I will be faithful to you, regardless of the circumstances God may bring in our life together. I love you unconditionally. This is my solemn covenant to you before God this day.

A: And I will be faithful to you, regardless of the circumstances God may bring in our life together. I love you unconditionally. This is my solemn covenant to you before God this day.

K: And let us not love in word or in tongue,

A: But in deed and in truth.

Unison: Til death do us part.

A Life Full of Love

Today is our three-year wedding anniversary. Yesterday I was flipping through an album my mom had put together for me and I read a note she’d written just before our wedding. She wrote: “Make love the goal of your life. Pursue love. Out-love [Kevin]. Love him like Christ loves you. Then your life will be truly blessed.” While I can’t say that I’ve come anywhere near to loving Kevin like Christ loves me, nor that I’ve out-loved Kevin, I can definitely look back on these last three years and see the blessings and fruition of love. God’s definition of love (true love) is so much deeper and fuller than the world’s definition of “love.”

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Cor. 13:4-8

It’s been rather easy for me to have “emotions” of love toward Kevin (‘cuz after living with him for three years, I still think he’s perfect). But the true test of love is my choices and my conduct. And I think that’s what my mom was, ultimately, talking about when she said our life together would be blessed by love.

Isn’t it interesting, too, how emotions of love tend to follow when we choose to act lovingly? I heard a wise person once say that it’s easier to love someone when we act toward them as a person “in love” would act. Where our treasure is, there our heart will be also.

I pray that God would continue to sanctify me and work in me so that I may love Kevin more perfectly every day. I look forward to the blessings that will come because of His grace. I look forward to a life full of love.

Redefining Limitations

One thing I’ve learned about motherhood thus far is that the human being is capable of doing so much more than what one would ordinarily think possible. Take today, for instance. I was at the grocery store and my cart was three-fourths of the way full. As I was walking down the dairy aisle, Meredith decided to wake from her peaceful nap and start wailing. Loudly. It wasn’t long before I started to notice eyeballs being pointed in my direction and, not wanting to become the focal point of the entire store, I tried to shush and pacify my daughter. This was to no avail and finally I was forced to take her out of her infant seat and rock her while holding the pacifier in her mouth. I tried several times to place her back in her seat but she instantly started wailing again. I looked down at my grocery list and then back at the groceries piled in my cart. I wasn’t sure how it would work but I figured that I was going to, somehow, have to hold Meredith, push my cart with my one free hand, get the rest of my groceries, check-out, and load my car.

Today I learned a valuable piece of information: it is much easier to pull a cart with one hand than push a cart with one hand. It took me about five minutes to figure this out, by the way. I must be a slow study.

At the check-out counter, I was able to unload all my groceries with just one hand except for the large watermelon in my cart. I put Meredith down for a second (she of course wailed loudly), threw the watermelon on the conveyor belt, and then picked her up again. Somehow – don’t ask me how – I managed to find my check card in my purse and pay for my groceries.

Then I realized I was up for the biggest challenge of the day. I had chosen to shop at a grocery store that requires you to bag your own groceries (as a cost saving measure). I single-handedly bagged and loaded about half of my groceries until, at last, one of the employees took pity on me and offered to help.

As I exited the grocery store, again pulling my cart with one hand and holding the baby in the other arm, it was over 100 degrees outside. But I had already started perspiring long ago – in the dairy aisle to be precise.

Now I’m home. Meredith is blissfully sleeping. The world is peaceful again. And I’ve learned a lot about what a human being is capable of doing under certain circumstances.
_________________

On another note, I’m very happy to report that Meredith has started to smile “for real” now. (In other words, she smiles at times other than when she has gas.) Last night she made eye contact with Kevin and he smiled at her while telling her “hi gorgeous” and she beamed back at him. We know it was a “real” smile because, for the first time, she smiled with her eyes.

This is something I’ve been waiting for. It’s amazing how much you can love a baby who shows no recognition of you and no tangible appreciation for you. But it’s SO very nice – like the icing on the cake – when they begin to show an understanding that you actually exist and can smile back at you.

Retail Experiences

At probably the worst time possible, our washing machine decided to die. Since our family size has expanded to three persons, I’ve done more laundry than I ever thought imaginable. With the death of said washing machine, we were prompted to visit several retail stores last night in search of a replacement.

While I understand the principle of getting a commission, and the fact that salespeople have to earn a living too, I really hate going to a store where the salespeople trail you about ten feet for a few dozen yards until they decide to go in for the kill. Or, in other words, accost you with their pitch. And I always know when it’s going to happen too. I’ve learned to anticipate their next move by watching from the corner of my eye.

Also yesterday, I went to the mall with Meredith for a stroll. I wanted some exercise but it’s been too hot here lately to do much outside. I’m trying not to be the typical young mom who frets about germs around every corner. But I still try to be cautious. I had Meredith covered up in her stroller for the entire trek until the end when I uncovered her to give her some fresh air. At that precise moment a little girl, probably five or six years old, came from nowhere and ran up to Meredith to stroke her face. She was really cute – I could clearly see her excitement to touch a little baby. “What is her name?” she asked. I felt myself stiffen as I answered the question, trying to reassure myself that the little girl probably wasn’t sick. Fortunately her mom was close behind her and said, “No, you’re not supposed to touch babies who are that little.” “Why?” asked the girl. “Because you have germs,” said her mom. The little girl looked horrified to realize that she has germs. It was actually pretty funny.

And then there was this adorable little boy, probably five years old, who held the door open for me as I was leaving the mall because he noticed that I was pushing a stroller. In fact, he had just come through the door and had to run back to assist me. He was with his sister, just a few years older than him, and I didn’t see an adult anywhere nearby. It really caught me off guard that such a little boy would do such a gentlemanly thing without being prompted by his mother. It was refreshing to see so much thoughtfulness possessed by such a young child. This random act of kindness totally made my day.

Tour de Meredith

Congrats to Lance for doing it again. I’m happy to report that, thanks to Kevin, we got a good dose of the Tour de France over the past several weeks. Every time there was a lull in our household activity, Kevin would suggest turning on the TV to see what’s going on with the Tour.

The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that there’s an analogy somewhere between a strenuous bike race and taking care of a newborn. Both require stamina and endurance, that’s for sure.

When I’m not taking care of Meredith (those few hours every day), I just want to hold her and look at her. She’s so little and fragile, yet so full of expression and so strong.

I think I have this unrealistic fear that she’ll be suddenly grown up if I happen to take my eyes off her. But maybe that’s not such an unreasonable notion after all. They say that babies grow up fast. In fact, I think Meredith is already changing and growing.

And I think I’ve changed a little bit too. Although I hope that I’ve never been too materialistic of a person, I think I’ve become much less materialistic since Meredith entered this world. After holding my own baby in my arms, the value and attraction of all earthly possessions and exploits have paled considerably.

Some things are merely temporal … others are eternal. I am constantly amazed that God has entrusted me with the stewardship of a little soul named Meredith Grace.

… I’ll try to blog more frequently in the coming weeks. But, no promises. I’m having fun with my baby!

Family Photo

Takin' it all in ...

M's First Outing to Lake Tahoe

A Slow Emergence

Well, I'm slowly starting to reenter the land of the living. The last week (is that how long it's been?) has been surreal. Meredith is such a great baby. I could write on and on about all the escapades we've had thus far. Maybe I'll summarize a few of them sometime in the next few days. It's been wonderful to have Kevin home from work for the last week. The three of us have gotten in some good bonding time. Kevin's THE expert at calming Meredith when she's upset. It's truly amazing to see how good he is with her. The biggest challenge since she's been born is keeping her awake long enough to make her eat. We feel like we have to nearly torture her, by dragging wet cloths on her face and mercilessly tickling her feet, in order to make her wake up. In case you’ve never done it, fighting with a drowsy baby is not easy task. But I guess it’s better than an extremely fussy baby. At least we get some rest now and then!

On another note, I thought I'd include a link to my sister Betsy's blog. Lately she's been having quite a few adventures trekking across the country on flying jobs. She's updated her blog with some fun pictures. Apparently she was in Virginia last week and found some of my old stomping grounds. Seeing these pictures brought back a lot of fond memories. That was a such a great chapter of life.

But this one is too. So far, I like this mommy business.

By the way … I have a question. Is it ever too soon to paint a little girl’s toe nails? They’d look so cute! (We’re going to have so much fun together!!)

Hi

Mommy and me.

Daddy's girl.

We're glad to be home now.

Announcing . . .

. . . the arrival of Meredith Grace Koons. Mommy and baby are both doing fine. Daddy is doing OK too . . . still looking for the buttons that popped off his proud shirt. Here are the stats: born at 11:26 p.m. on July 7; 8 lbs. 2 oz.; 20.5 in. long. It all happened very fast. Amy didn't even start having contractions until about 5:00 p.m. last night. We're both very grateful for a great labor and delivery. We're so happy and excited about our new life with little Meredith.




Welcome to the world, Meredith.




8 lbs. 2 oz., 20.5 in. long.




All cleaned up.

Sage Advice for Singles

While I don’t agree with everything that proceeds from Dobson’s mouth, I recently read an article he wrote on advice for singles who want to build healthy dating relationships and I couldn’t agree more with what he says. I think a lot of it is counterintuitive – but that’s why it’s so important to understand.

This morning Kevin and I had a discussion about singles playing “cat and mouse” and how a guy is motivated by a woman who acts disinterested in him. There’s no incentive for a guy to chase after a girl who is always available for him. (I’ve actually watched my sister treat guys like dirt – to the point where I thought she was being extremely rude – but then sit back and be amazed at how the guy would go absolutely wild and be even more desperate for her.) We reminisced about the time I wasn’t “sure” Kevin liked me or not because he was giving me mixed signals. So, I signed up for a seminar in D.C. on how to get a job on capitol hill. That was a turning point in our relationship because I basically sent a loud and clear message to Kevin that I could live without him and that it was possible for me to have an exciting, adventurous life on my own. Before I knew it, he was asking if he could go to the seminar with me!

Anyway, this conversation made me recollect Dobson’s article and track it down so I could read it again. In addition to Dobson’s advice on giving each other space, he also has a lot of other interesting, helpful things to say.

Question: In your book Love Must Be Tough, you suggested some ways unmarried people can build healthy relationships and not smother each other. Would you share those again? Would you apply the "tough love" principle to those of us who are not married? How does the issue of respect relate to our romantic relationships, and how can we build and preserve it?

Answer: The principles of loving toughness are the same for those who are single as for those who have been married for decades. There are circumstances, however, that are specific to the courtship period. Let me cite 17 suggestions that will help you avoid the common pitfalls among those who are trying to win the heart of another.

1. Don't let a relationship move too fast in its infancy. The phrase "too hot not to cool down" has validity. Romantic affairs that begin in a frenzy frequently burn themselves out. Take it one step at a time.

2. Don't discuss your personal inadequacies and flaws in great detail when the relationship is new. No matter how warm and accepting your friend may be, any great revelation of low self-esteem or embarrassing weaknesses can be fatal when interpersonal "valleys" occur. And they will occur.

3. Remember that respect precedes love. Build it stone upon stone.

4. Don't call too often on the phone or give the other person an opportunity to get tired of you.

5. Don't be too quick to reveal your desire to get married -- or that you think you've just found Mr. Wonderful or Miss Marvelous. If your partner has not arrived at the same conclusion, you'll throw him or her into panic.

6. Most important: Relationships are constantly being tested by cautious lovers who like to nibble at the bait before swallowing the hook. This testing procedure takes many forms, but it usually involves pulling backward from the other person to see what will happen. Perhaps a foolish fight is initiated. Maybe two weeks will pass without a phone call. Or sometimes flirtation occurs with a rival. In each instance, the question being asked is "How important am I to you, and what would you do if you lost me?" An even more basic issue lies below that one. It wants to know "How free am I to leave if I want to?" It is incredibly important in these instances to appear poised, secure, and equally independent. Do not grasp the other person and beg for mercy. Some people remain single throughout life because they cannot resist the temptation to grovel when the test occurs.

7. Extending the same concept, keep in mind that virtually every dating relationship that continues for a year or more and seems to be moving toward marriage will be given the ultimate test. A breakup will occur, motivated by only one of the lovers. The rejected individual should know that their future together depends on the skill with which he or she handles that crisis. If the hurting individual can remain calm, the next two steps may be reconciliation and marriage. It often happens that way. If not, then no amount of pleading will change anything.

8. Do not depend entirely upon one another for the satisfaction of every emotional need. Maintain interests and activities outside that romantic relationship, even after marriage.

9. Guard against selfishness in your love affair. Neither the man nor the woman should do all the giving. I once broke up with a girl because she let me take her to nice places, bring her flowers, buy her lunch, etc. I wanted to do these things but expected her to reciprocate in some way. She didn't.

10. Beware of blindness to obvious warning signs that tell you that your potential husband or wife is basically disloyal, hateful, spiritually uncommitted, hooked on drugs or alcohol, given to selfishness, etc. Believe me, a bad marriage is far worse than the most lonely instance of singleness.

11. Beginning early in the dating relationship, treat the other person with respect and expect the same in return. A man should open doors for a woman on a formal evening; a woman should speak respectfully of her escort when in public, etc. If you don't preserve this respectful attitude when the foundations of marriage are being laid, it will be virtually impossible to construct them later.

12. Do not equate human worth with flawless beauty or handsomeness! If you require physical perfection in your mate, he or she may make the same demands of you. Neither of you will keep it for long. Don't let love escape you because of the false values of your culture.

13. If genuine love has escaped you thus far, don't begin believing "no one would ever want me." That is a deadly trap that can destroy you emotionally! Millions of people are looking for someone to love. The problem is finding one another!

14. Regardless of how brilliant the love affair has been, take time to "check your assumptions" with your partner before committing yourself to marriage. It is surprising how often men and women plunge toward matrimony without ever becoming aware of major differences in expectation between them.

15. Sexual familiarity can be deadly to a relationship. In addition to the many moral, spiritual, and physical reasons for remaining virgins until marriage, there are numerous psychological and interpersonal advantages as well. Though it's an old-fashioned notion, perhaps, it is still true that men do not respect "easy" women and often become bored with those who have held nothing in reserve. Likewise, women often disrespect men who have only one thing on their minds. Both sexes need to remember how to use a very ancient word. It's pronounced "no!"

16. Country singer Tom T. Hall wrote a song in which he revealed an understanding of the concept we have been describing. His lyric read, "If you hold love too loosely then it flies away; if you hold love too tightly, it'll die. It's one of the mysteries of life." Hall's observation is accurate. If the commitment between a man and a woman is given insufficient importance in their lives, it will wither like a plant without water. The whole world knows that much. But fewer lovers seem to realize that extreme dependency can be just as deadly to a love affair. It has been said that the person who needs the other least will normally be in control of the relationship. I believe that to be true.

17. There is nothing about marriage that eliminates the basic need for freedom and respect in romantic interactions. Keep the mystery and the dignity in your relationship. If the other partner begins to feel trapped and withdraws for a time, grant him or her some space and pull back yourself. Do not build a cage around that person. Instead, release your grip with confidence while never appeasing immorality or destructive behavior.

These are the basics of the "love must be tough" concept. I could list another hundred suggestions, but you get the idea.

Nose Rings

Lately Kevin has been reading Ezekiel in his daily bible reading. The other day I asked him what exactly he was reading about and he read me a portion from chapter 16 about God’s love for His people and how God came to a struggling Jerusalem and lovingly washed her, clothed her, and adorned her with gold and silver, including (v. 12) putting a jewel in her nose.

This led to a discussion on the propriety of nose rings.

I was shocked, absolutely shocked (probably because I married a man whom I consider to be much more “conservative” than myself), when Kevin said he wouldn’t mind if I got a “small stud” in my nose. He said that he thinks they can be attractive and he doesn’t see anything wrong with it, especially in light of the fact that God himself declares in Ezekiel that it’s something beautiful and desirable. (He did say, however, that he’d rather I not get anything larger than a “small stud” because he personally thinks that’s highly unattractive.)

Okay, mom, if you are reading this blog, please rest assured that I’m not planning to rush out and pierce my nose today. Actually, despite Kevin’s blessing, I have no desire to do so. I’m happy with the holes I already have in my head – all the ones God gave me at birth plus two artificial holes, one in each ear.

But, back to our conversation … It was interesting to mull over the topic of body piercings for a few moments. Aside from any perceived “wrongness” or “rightness” in piercing your body, it’s true that there are certain cultural connotations to body piercing that the well-meaning person should take into consideration. But it’s also clear that connotations change over time. For example, what would have been considered a “rebellious” piercing twenty years ago, might not be considered such today.

In the end we concluded that you simply can't make an airtight case that it’s “wrong” to pierce your nose when God explicitly declares in scripture that it’s something He thinks is “beautiful.”

Baby Update

Or, rather, the non-baby update. Even though my doctor keeps telling me she thinks the baby will come any minute, still … nothing. As of Friday, my doctor told me she thinks the baby is “at least eight pounds.” My mom, who generally always looks on the bright side, said “That’s great; you’ll have a fat, healthy baby.” All I can think is “Yikes.”

Although it would’ve been fun to have the baby come on the 4th of July, I’m actually glad it didn’t. Personally, I think being born on a holiday would stink because then you’d have to share your birthday with something else.

You know how I talked about doing that DinnerTime thing? Well, I finally did it! And it was fabulous! It took about 45 minutes (only!) to make six meals that generously feed six persons each. Actually, I ended up with more like 12 meals because I split most of them into two different portions, which will be plenty for Kevin and myself. Not only was it fast to make all the meals, it was also incredibly fun. I enjoyed the sense of community as I worked next to a couple dozen other women while we quickly put together healthy, “homemade” meals for our families. I also felt very spoiled during the process. All of the ingredients were ready and pre-prepared when I got there. And as soon as I finished making a meal, the employees at DinnerTime would come and clean up after me. I would then wash my hands and proceed to the next station where I would start making the next meal. Now we have a bunch of quick dinners awaiting us in the freezer – everything from Thai Cashew Chicken to Penne with Prosciutto. This is a very reassuring thought.