Purple Cookies

In a recent post I mentioned quality time.  Clara and I are just alike in this area.  She loves nothing more than when I give her my undivided attention.

The other day Clara asked me if I would play a game with her.  I told her, trying to suppress thoughts of everything else I needed to do, “Sure. How about UNO?”

“Yes!  I love UNO!”

Ten seconds later she asked if we could also have a special dessert after dinner.

“Well, it’s already 5:00 p.m.,” I said. “I don’t know if we have time for UNO and making a dessert.  Which one do you want to do?”

It was a no-brainer.  I don’t even know why I asked.  Clara would rather have sugar than air to breathe.  

“Mom, have you ever dyed chocolate chip cookes?,” she asked.

“Why, no.  I haven’t.  But there’s always a first time for everything.”

Purple was her color of choice.  Sprinkles were added for additional flair.  This experience brought her mounds of happiness and delight.

Apparently showing love is sometimes just a matter of dyeing chocolate chip cookies purple.

 

 

 

Time, Not Stuff

Please don’t get me a Mother’s Day gift. 

Yes, I mean it.  Seriously.

Kevin and I just had this conversation last night.  I knew he would have to work the Saturday morning before Mother’s Day—thus is the life of a person with a very deadline oriented job—and I really didn’t want him spending all afternoon away from me, too, looking for a gift. 

“Please don’t go buy me something I probably don’t need and probably don’t want.  Just come home and hang out with me.” 

Actually, I asked him to help me pick up the house because we are hosting Mother’s Day, with our immediate family and another family whose mom is here from out of town. 

The best way you can love me, honey, is to VACUUM.

I think there is something to the five love languages theory.  Although the example of vacuuming would be an act of service, what I really love is spending time with the people I love, especially if it means experiencing something new with them.

I don’t want more stuff.  I like clean lines and I hate clutter and if I really need something I can probably just go buy it myself.  What I really value is experiences.  Experiences are way more important to me than things.  Time is valuable, and scarce, and so when someone shares it with me, that really speaks to me. 

If you insist on giving me something, then what I would really like is a note or a homemade card from the kids.  Homemade cards are the best. 

So, hang out with me.  Go on random adventures with me.  It can be a small thing or a big thing [someday I want to ride a hot air balloon, by the way].  Let’s experience life together.  

A Prize that Counts

I sat on the edge of my seat at Meredith’s end-of-year recitation program yesterday.  The speaker was about to announce the winners of the cursive penmanship contest.

Meredith wanted to win so badly.  One boy and one girl would be chosen from each class in the lower school.  She had worked painstakingly to make sure all her cursive letters touched all the proper lines on the paper and had all the right slants.  After her work was complete, she walked around the room and carefully scrutinized all the other kids’ handwriting.  Later she told me, “I think I’m going to win!”  She also told me which boy in her class she thought would win. 

I told her that I was proud of her, regardless of what happened, because she had worked so hard all year long and had learned so much.  I was hoping she wouldn't be crushed but knew this might be the life lesson she needed to learn. 

“By the way, what do you get if you win?” I asked.

“I get a ribbon.  I have never gotten a ribbon before.  Well, we got one in gymnastics but that didn't count because EVERYONE got one.”  Kids are smarter than we give them credit for.

The speaker at the program said, “And for the second grade class, the winner is …. Meredith Koons.” 

She beamed out at the crowd, with her little side pony tail bouncing as she walked up the stage to receive her prize.

And, lo and behold, the boy she predicted would win, also won.

Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up with helping our kids overcome their academic weaknesses.  But, as I clapped loudly for her, it was good to help Meredith celebrate her strength. She has an eye for the beautiful.  She is a good artist.  She is a perfectionist and she loves copying things.    

It has been a pleasure to see Meredith flourish at the Highlands Latin School.  She is exactly where she needs to be.

And my kindergartner, my sweet Clara, has been home with me this year.  She has also been exactly where she needed to be.  Clara has come a long way as well and it has been so rewarding to see her grow in every way. 

I am thankful that God guides us in all these things.  Sometimes we don’t know what the right course is, but I know He always helps to direct us when we seek Him.  Parenting choices can be difficult.  And I’m sure we are not out of the woods yet!

You live, you learn

Imagine me at the kitchen sink, washing cilantro, when daughter "A" bursts into the room full of ardor and excitement.  Her dreams have come true. Finally, the birthday party that her friend has talked about for months, the one with the Panda Bear theme, and the pizza, and the games, and best of all the slumber party element, has come to fruition.  An invitation has arrived, complete with a smiling panda bear head on it.  

If you know my kids, you know that they live for birthday parties.  They start planning their own birthday parties 364 days before the event.  

And then it dawns on her.  Just yesterday, her other good friend invited her to a birthday slumber party.  And can you believe it, it's the SAME DAY.    She has only been to one birthday slumber party in her whole life.  So, this is a big deal.  Now she has to miss out on one of them.  How can she possibly choose?

Hmmmmm. These are the incidents of life that spawn conversations between a mom and her girl.  How do you choose?  How about diplomacy?  Not volunteering information is different from lying.  You can tell girl #1 you can't attend her party without telling her that you picked girl #2's party over hers.  How can we best avoid hurt feelings and girl drama?

Flash forward a few minutes.  The cilantro made it to the fridge, but is barely below room temperature at this point.  

Three kids burst through the door offering to wash my car.  "Where are the supplies, Mrs. Koons?"

Well, that's nice kids.  But despite the fact that my car does need washing, I don't know if you are the people up for the task.  (I imagined streaks of dirt and Windex running down the side of my van.)  

Speaking of which ...  Why do you want to wash my car at this particular moment?  

What?!!  Daughter "B" did what?!!!!  She painted neon green nail polish on my van?!!!!

All of this might have been easier to handle if I had not just finished my utterly exhausting weekly Costco/Super Target circuit (yes, with three kids in tow) and all I wanted to do was take five.

Daughter "B" was promptly sent to her room while I investigated.  Thankfully she had painted on the glass.  A stupid choice, but not as bad as it could have been. 

It boils down to this.  My children will learn to govern themselves, by displaying that they can make wise choices, or I am going to have to keep on being the main person to govern them.  (And, I do expect that at their tender ages, that will generally be the case, anyway!  But daughter "B" is definitely old enough to have known better.)  So, daughter "B" is going to have to stay by my side for the next two days--no playtime with friends, which will be excruciating for her--so I can monitor her choices and she can earn back my trust.  

Because, at this time of the year, the neighborhood kids all roam freely in the common area behind our backyard, not playing with friends for two days is a big deal.  She acted like I told her she'd have to skip Christmas. 

These life lessons can be hard to learn sometimes.  Yes, there were tears.  But if they are not learned now, they will be more painful to learn as an adult.  

Now, what am I going to do with all this quality time with my girl for the next 48 hours? Other than talk about good choices and supervise her cleaning green nail polish off the van window?

How I Discovered That I Don't Want a Dog

Well, that's not true actually. I have always known that I don't want a dog. Other people's animals are okay, except for a friend's dog who always constanly has his nose in my rear end every time I visit her. He is a big dog and his head is just the right height. And he has really bad breath too. And then when I sit down he puts his head in my lap like he wants me to pet him. Seriously bad dog manners!

The reason I don't want a dog is I can barely take care of my four kids. And I'm not really keen on dog hair floating around the house and getting in my food. And dogs smell. And I really don't want the expense. And I complained about having to clean out the fish bowl when we had a fish. So I really don't think I want a dog.

My kids beg for a dog, but I say no. I am so mean.

This brings me to my main point. My stance against dog ownership was confirmed after Meredith participated in a "Foster Chick Care Program" through our local library. We had three chicks, all hens, named March, April, and May.

It was a wonderful, rewarding, and enriching program. The kids really did learn a lot about chick development and the care of animals and that animals are a big responsibility. The temperature in the cage had to be just right and the food and water had to be refilled and everything had to be cleaned often. The kids were entertained by the chicks constantly for about four days into the two-week program. The cage remained clean for about that long too.

Then, on day five, something magical happened. The novelty wore off and, although the kids played with the chicks now and then, it was no longer as interesting or exciting. And cleaning out the cage was, sure as anything, definitely not exciting.

So, this was the best type of pet to have ... one that could be returned after two weeks!

Here is my Meredith with her project:

 

The chicks were popular with all the neighbor kids:

 

And here is Mer, doing her least favorite part of the project, cleaning the cage:

 

This one is an Americana variety, or an "easter egg" chicken because it lays colorful eggs.

 

 

And this one is a Golden Comet, named April:

 

I'm gonna miss it.

When the baby stuffs his chubby hands in his mouth and smiles back at me, these are days I'm gonna miss.

 

When the kids run in circles in the yard trying to catch the season's first warm rays of sunshine, full of the happiness of childhood, these are the days I'm gonna miss.

 

Blessings Flowing

Good things can happen when you talk to strangers. I found that out after I struck up a conversation with a lady at my neighborhood pool last June. The kids splashed in the water. I was probably in the water with them, too, wearing my maternity suit. Lori was there with all her kids, and her ever-sunny, attractive disposition. After chatting for a while, Lori invited me to join a semi-monthly mom’s group at her church. I liked this lady. And her group was similar to MOPS, and I loved MOPS. I missed MOPS. So, I said yes.

I knew when I walked through the doors of Lori’s church last fall that I had made the right choice to come. For starters, the smell of coffee permeated the building. There’s nothing that screams “welcome” more loudly than a freshly brewed pot of coffee. But even better, there were so many other moms who were there with smiles on their faces and open hearts—not perfect women but women who wanted the same thing I did. Transparency. Growth. Consolation. Empathy. Encouragement. Time to learn. Time to laugh a little. Space. A place where I could stop working and striving and just be. Just be me. Just be me, and be accepted and loved.

The year before, I had weekly homeschool group. But that didn’t cut it. That was different. Homeschool group serves its own important place, to keep you accountable in your work teaching your children. It’s not a place to relax and be loved on for two hours.

At this mom’s group, older women made us a hot brunch and came to speak to us, and encourage us, and help us recharge our batteries, so we could go home and be better moms.

Last year, I felt so depleted, I cannot adequately explain to you, even after all this time, space, and distance, how depleted I was. I don’t think of myself as a perfectionist but when I think something is important, I will give it 100%. Homeschooling took over my life. I wasn’t able to find balance. All the forces in my life collided together and took me to the brink of desperation.

It is hard for me to write when I am still trying to process my thoughts. In a way, writing helps to distill my thoughts. But, ultimately, I need to ruminate for a while, before I can put it down on paper. I’m still not sure I’m done processing everything that happened last year. But I am starting to get more clarity. In fact, a friend sent me an article (I will repost at some point) a few months ago and suddenly more lights went on. I think I am almost at a point of feeling recovered and like I can put my finger on exactly what happened, where I’m at, and where I want to go from here.

A gal can plan her way, but God directs her steps. I know the things that happen in my life all happen for a reason. All of life is about adjusting and adapting to new situations and new ideas, as we live and read and gain experience.

In any event, I am thankful that I meet Lori at the pool last summer. I am thankful for the very timely mom’s group I have participated in. I am thankful for the love that has flowed down into my life, because of the investment of others. I want to give back more, too, and help others, too.

Here are some cards Clara and Sophia made today for their teachers at this mom’s group. Clara’s teachers are two very sweet, teenage homeschooled girls. Sophia’s teachers are an older mom and a dad who is currently unemployed and enjoys working with kids. They loved their classes so much. They were as blessed as their mom! These volunteers didn’t have to give of their time. They could have been doing other things on those two Friday mornings a month. But they did give of themselves. And we are grateful.

Thank you God that you provide our daily food. And it’s not just literal food. Sometimes the “food” we need is smiling faces, offered friendship, and fresh coffee.

April Laughs

This year for some reason the kids were ALL really into April Fools Day. Kevin says, "This is your fault Amy. I blame you!" What? I have no idea what he is talking about ...

In any event, all the jokes that were played this year just so happened to be performed on Kevin. And one of them wasn't even discovered until later in the evening. We had to call Clara, who was in bed at her grandma's house, to find out where daddy's gym shorts had been hidden. She immediately revealed the location of his shorts and several other articles of clothing which she had creatively stowed away.

Yes, I really, truly love all my girls. They have a zest for life that makes them simply endearing.

Here are some April Fools Pals, with our annual dirt cake we make.

 

 

Easter 2013

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spring at Conner Prairie

I have never known a kid who loves baby animals so much as Sophia. In fact, she reminds us all the time, "I love baby animals." So, getting to hold these 4-day old goats at Conner Prairie was, in her mind, probably the best day of her life.

 

 

 

 

 

Spring is a fun time to visit Conner Prairie, a local living history place. They had a "scavenger egg hunt" for the kids where the kids had to find eggs at different houses and other places throughout the village and then write down the location. At the end of the day they turned in their papers for a prize at the general store. It was much more fun than those crowded public park egg hunts where you wait in line for an hour and then all the big kids railroad the little kids to get the eggs first. Can you tell I have experience in this? :)

 

 

My Two Cs

As I go through photos, I just have to post these of Clara and Carson. It has been really fun to see all of Clara's maternal instincts surface. This girl has a special gift in her ability to nurture and love small children. I have enjoyed watching Clara blossom in this way, with a baby in the house. She is always the first one to offer to feed Carson his bottle and she is really good at taking care of him.

 

 

 

 

Smiley Boy

Carson is at that golden baby age right now, at nearly five months old.  He has chubby cheeks, bright blue eyes, and a deep belly laugh and we are all pretty much enamored with him.  He is very easy going and patient for his mommy to meet his needs (unless he has a burp)!  

Carson is huge!  It's hard to believe he ever had trouble putting on weight.  He is 17 lbs. 8 oz. and just now getting into 9 month clothing.  I am really thankful for a local kids' consignment store to help me keep this growing boy clothed!!  I have a soft spot for little boys' dress clothes, which I think are simply adorable. Today I ironed some of Kevin's dress shirts and also two for Carson. Those little collars and sleeves just made me smile.  Could anything be more cute?  Of course, I don't know what the point of ironing baby clothes is since it just wrinkles when the baby goes in the car seat, right?  

Anyway ... We are all enjoying our little boy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

What did I say about those dress clothes?!