Art of Apologizing

How do you say "I’m sorry"? The popular method is to say: "I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to do what I did." This is how I, personally, have always apologized. "Kevin, I’m really sorry that I made fun of your hat. I didn’t mean to offend you. Will you forgive me?"

Kevin has challenged my art of apologizing. And, you know what? I think he’s right. (Kevin - please note - I am acknowledging that you are right.) My method, and the common method, of apologizing is generally inadequate to address wrongdoing.

Here’s why. If Amy intentionally made fun of Kevin’s hat, it really means nothing that she is trying to save-face, pretend like she was always a sweet and wonderful person, and says she didn’t MEAN to make fun of his hat. When, in reality, she darn well meant to make fun of it.

Here is the proper way to apologize: "I’m sorry. When I made fun of your hat, I meant what I said. But now I realize that was wrong of me. I shouldn’t have harassed you like that. Would you forgive me?"

This method of apologizing assumes personal responsibility and displays true remorse.

When a persons says they didn’t "mean" something - this is a cop-out. They are trying to save-face after regretting what they’ve done because 1) they’ve got caught or 2) they still want to be considered a nice and decent person. (Note: This is the Justin Timberlake method of apologizing.)

Real men/women face-up to what they’ve done, acknowledge their intentional errors, and then ask forgiveness.