Wands and Rats

Last night on my way to the parking lot to get my car, I found a glittery gold magic wand, with a star at the tip, lying on the ground. Kevin says it’s revolting that I pick up nasty, germ-ridden objects from the ground. But I couldn’t resist. It probably belonged to some sweet, angelic child who cried when she lost it.

When I go to pick-up Kevin at his office, I have two choices for entering the building. I can go through the main entrance, which is "miles" from where I park. Or, I can go through the side entrance which lets me in near Kevin’s office door. His office window, on the street level, is near where I park. Usually he notices right away that I am standing there waiting for him to let me in. Last night I stood there, with my magic wand in hand, for what seemed like several minutes. Soon I started shaking my glittery wand at him to get his attention. At that point I realized that I must look like some crazy FREAK, standing outside the building waving my magic wand at some guy sitting at his desk. When no one was around to see me, I picked up a twig and threw it at Kev’s window. He instantly jumped in his chair. I felt bad but, hey, desperate times call for desperate measures! When I walked to the side entrance to meet Kevin, I noticed a large rat sitting outside the door. (It was either a large rat or a gargantuan mouse!) Once I saw Kevin through the glass door, I shrieked and pointed to the rat. He raised his eyebrows, cracked the door, and said he’d go get something to throw at it. I ran back to the car, closed the door, and rolled down the window to see what would happen.

Soon Kevin returned with a fist full of plastic spoons from the kitchen. He cracked open the door and threw a spoon at the beast. It landed right next to the rat. The rat stiffened and raised its nose but didn’t otherwise move. It was as if it was mocking us and saying, "This is MY territory." Kevin threw another spoon at it. This time the spoon landed smack on its back. The rat, again, only moved slightly. All the while, I was sitting in the car, laughing my head off at this charade. Eventually, being the brilliant people that we are, we figured that there must be something wrong with it. Kevin called out for me to tiptoe around the rat and enter the building. I did so, with some trepidation, I must admit. My wild imagination envisioned the nasty creature reaching out to bite me and infect me with some horrid disease. I was relieved to make it safely into the confines of the building with no further incident. (Honestly, I feel sorry for the poor rat - it must have been terrified to be injured and helpless like that. Poor thing.)

I can’t believe I just wrote that last sentiment. I’m getting WAY too emotional if I have feelings for a rat!

From that point on, we followed the usual end-of-the-work-day routine. Typically I sit in a chair across from Kevin’s desk and find something to amuse myself as he wraps up his last project and calculates his billable hours for the day. Wretched billable hours. I think that would be the worst part about being a "real lawyer." So much of your life would be complicated by the math. And, I’m sure I’d miscalculate every now and then and cheat some poor client. It’s a good thing Kevin is the one that has the real job.