After a banquet dinner on Saturday night, to which Kevin and I drove in separate cars, I followed Kevin home. Before going home, however, he had to go pump some gas. I could’ve gone on ahead of him but, not wanting to go home to an empty house, I waited for him at the gas station.
It’s amazing, to me, that God gives us the capacity to love another person so much that we want to be away from them as little as possible, even if it means being bored at a smelly gas station. Even though I was only five minutes from the comfort of my own home, it was still more preferable to me to wait for Kevin - and be in close proximity to him - than to drive on. I guess that fact that I would do this (after three years of marriage, to boot), is a sign that I've found true love.
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As I sat in my car watching Kevin pump gas in front of me, I was struck with deja vu. It doesn’t seem like it was that long ago when we lived in the D.C. metro area during the sniper attacks. I involuntarily shuddered at the remembrance. It was an incredible time to be alive. The sniper attacks were so random, and several of them had occurred at gas stations, no one felt secure. I remember inserting the gas pump and then running back to the car and rolling the windows up to play it safe – because everyone knew a sniper wouldn’t shoot through glass and have his bullet deflected. I also remember people zigzagging to their cars in the parking lot, to avoid a potential bullet – because everyone also knew a sniper would only shoot at a sure target, a person walking in a straight line or standing still.
Thankfully, that’s a thing of the past. Now, there is Freedom from Fear. May I never take that for granted … ever again.
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Also on Saturday, I went to a bridal shower luncheon. We played my favorite bridal shower game of all time – designing a bridal costume with toilet paper and other random stuff. I love the creativity involved in this game. And I’m happy to report that my team won. Yay!
At lunch, two ladies asked me how I was feeling. Being the honest person that I am I said, “I’m feeling great. As far as pregnancies go, I can’t complain. But one thing I’ve discovered is that, even if you have a normal, ‘good’ pregnancy, being pregnant is still a Royal Pain.”
Some of you probably know (and have experienced first-hand) that there’s a group of women in this world who believe certain things in life are always sacred. Things like whole wheat bread, homeschooling, having babies/being pregnant, etc. These are things that, according to them, you can never criticize. It’s taboo to speak anything but sunshine and roses about these topics. Well, I forgot who my audience was (big mistake) when I made the above remarks and, from the looks of stunned expression on these women’s faces, I think I really offended them.
These women probably think I’m going to be a terrible mom because I don’t enjoy pregnancy. But I’ve learned, in my life so far, that some people simply cannot see dichotomy.
So, I guess the moral of the story is ... remember who your audience is, shut up when necessary, and try to cultivate friendships with the people that you can be really honest with and who will be honest with you in return.
It's frustrating, though, because friends like that are rare.
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5 comments:
Amy--Don't shut up. There has to have been at least one woman there who thought to herself: "Oh good, she thinks so too." Being pregnant is a royal pain. It is a beautiful amazing thing but very uncomfortable. I've never quite understood why it is so important to put such a rich (fake) gloss on things like that. -rlr
Gotta tell you, after going thru it eight times, I NEVER enjoyed being pregnant -- throwing up, getting big, swelling, being tired, etc. No joy there! The BEST part is what you are about to experience. When the doctor makes eye contact and says, "okay, PUSH!" Such relief and pure joy! On the other hand, every bit of pregnancy is worth it to hold a sweet little baby in the end :) I say, be honest! Being yourself is what draws others to you, Amy! We are praying for the arrival of baby Koons. -- The Halls
I too have a few lady friends who would be aghast if I spoke negatively of being pregnant. One lady at church was rather upset at me that I wasn't "comfortable in the pew because of how big I was" and that I couldn't sit in just one position.
The pain of pregnancy is the biggest part of the curse for us women, but the end is usually worth the agony, as the Halls said. I say usually because a few women I have met have chosen to look at the negative vs. the positive, and while they gave up their baby for adoption because they didn't feel they should abort (which I did applaude) they had no joy in the pregnancy, every twitch or kick was a burden. How sad.
One thing I do love about pregnancy is knowing and loving the baby inside me even before I see him face to face. Feeling him move is one of my greatest joys throughout the day, even if he's SO active that it's painful, or I get sick, or any one of the other million things that make pregnancy annoying.
There ARE some perks to pregnancy, mainly husbands and/or friends who spoil you. If I lived closer, I'd probably call you up to see if you wanted to go get a manicure and pedicure, massage or facial. Just to pamper our pregnant bodies. :-)
Unfortunately, some moms equate admitting that pregnancy is a pain with saying that children are a pain. Scripture clearly points out that, yes, it is a travail; and no, children are not a pain, they are a blessing. Scripture ALSO points out that children can bring sorrow to their parents with their foolishness, but that the rod of correction is an excellent tool to drive away that foolishness.
Parents who think their children are a pain are not training them properly, IMHO. :)
BTW, I'm looking forward to baby news from you -- you'll keep your readers posted, of course?
And Nica, I agree with your point about knowing and loving your baby while he is still inside you. THAT is definitely NOT a pain!
Honesty is the best policy...let the chips fall where they will. I was a SAHM and homeschooler...but pregnancy was the necessary hardship in order to have children. Not all parts were bad, but a good portion of it was very hard. In fact, with the 3rd and last one...I was pretty much down with morning sickness the whole time, plus overdue to add insult to injury! But I love my children, all grown now and am glad they were born. I would do so again. I suspect so would you. I consoled myself with the thought I was giving my husband the very best gift I could give him, too.
Elizabeth
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