Friendship is Learned

As we prepare to head east, we are saying our sad goodbyes. On Saturday our bible study friends gave us a sweet farewell dinner – and a scrapbook of the fun times we’ve had.

Although I still have a lot to learn about being a good friend, I know my experiences here in Sacramento have taught me how to be a better friend. And this is primarily due to our bible study friends.

Never before have I observed a more tight-knit group of people who, at the same time, are so welcoming of new people. It blows me away! How is this possible? How is it possible for a group of friends to be so loyal to each other, so caring and generous to each other, yet, at the same time, to be so open to giving the same love and devotion to whomever walks through the door?

Kevin and I are very different from many of the couples in our bible study. We don’t go to the same church as the rest of them. We were homeschooled and most of them are public school teachers. We have very different backgrounds and, for the most part, different ideas of how we want to raise our children (e.g., daycare, education, etc.). And we differ on some theological concepts too.

For many Christians, one or two of these differences alone would prohibit a loving and dedicated friendship. Judgments would take place – or at least thoughts of “we can never be close because we are too different.”

Our bible study friends never focused on the differences. They simply focused on loving us and welcoming us to a strange new city.

They called us when they hadn’t heard from us. They invited us into their homes. They offered to share their worldly possessions, even when we knew they didn’t have much to give. They helped us commemorate and celebrate momentous occasions in life. They rejoiced with us and they empathized with us. They loved us unconditionally, as Christ would love.

I learned a lot from them. I learned to be more understanding and loving myself. I learned how rewarding and fulfilling true, unselfish friendship can be.

If there was only one reason God brought us to Sacramento for the past three years – for us to learn how to be better friends to the people in our lives, regardless of how different we are from them – it was one of the most valuable lessons I could have ever learned.
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One last thing I want to say …

For some of you it might be easy to say, “Oh, I wish I had I group of friends like that.” If I were reading this post, and didn’t have friends like that, I would say that too.

One thing I’ve learned is that when you don’t have good friends, you can be the person to cultivate friendships like this. Rather than sitting back and thinking “I wish I had friends,” I learned to look for new friends in “unlikely places.” Maybe they’ll be older than you, or younger than you. Maybe they’ll go to a different church. Maybe they’ll travel in different circles than you’re used to traveling in. I’ve learned that it’s worth it to go out of your comfort zone. Looking for friends in unlikely places can result in deep, rewarding friendships that you never expected.

Okay, I’ve promised Meredith I would take her for a walk! Gotta go!