Church Dating

Over the holidays I read a book that changed my outlook. I must confess, I bought it as a gift for someone, started reading it, and couldn’t put it down. It’s called Stop Dating the Church by Joshua Harris.

"Are you dating the church? We are a generation of consumers, independent and critical. We attend church, but we don't want to settle down and truly invest ourselves. We're not into commitment - we only want to date the church. Is this what God wants for us? Stop Dating the Church reminds us that faith was never meant to be a solo pursuit. The church is the place God grows us, encourages us, and uses us best. Loving Jesus Christ involves a passionate commitment to His church - around the world and down the street. We can't be apathetic. It's time to fall in love with the family of God."

Here's an excerpt:

"Can you spot what I'm calling a church-dater? Here's a quick profile. Do you see one or more characteristics in yourself?

"First, our attitude towards church tends to be me-centered. We go for what we can get - social interaction, programs, or activities. The driving question is 'What can church do for me?'

"A second sign of a church dater is being independent. We go to church because that's what Christians are supposed to do - but we're careful to avoid getting involved too much, especially with people. We don't pay much attention to God's larger purpose for us as a vital part in a specific church family. So we go through the motions without really investing ourselves.

"Most essentially, a church-dater tends to be critical. We are short on allegiance and quick to find fault in our church. We treat church with a consumer mentality - looking for the best product for the price of our Sunday morning. As a result, we're fickle and not invested for the long-term, like a lover with a wandering eye, always on the hunt for something better."

This book was very convicting for me. I don’t think I was a church dater until we moved to Sacramento. We found a good church and then became frustrated by a few things. We stayed, however, because we felt it was still the best option. Looking back, I wish I’d been less critical and had spent more time and energy serving and being involved wholeheartedly. I think that would have been the God-honoring thing to do. And I think it would have reaped other rewards too … such as blessing others more and benefiting myself.

Anyway, I highly recommend this book. Every page was packed with insights and messages to challenge me.