Excursions at Lowe's

As a child, I always thought hardware stores were the most boring places on the planet. Not only did they smell gross, there wasn’t anything interesting or colorful to look at or touch. (Maybe it’s just that my dad always took me to the humdrum aisles to buy bolts and nails and stuff.) Although I still think hardware stores smell badly, I’ve overcome the rest of my prejudices. Last night we went to Lowe’s to price window screens. I wasn’t looking forward to it because I could think of a lot of other things I’d rather spend our money on. As Kevin was perusing the screen aisle, my attention was diverted to a long row of beautiful oriental rugs. After looking at those for a while, I went to try out the patio furniture. Then I discovered the paint department. It was fun to gather samples and figure out what kinds of colors I want for the house. We ended up spending like three hours in the hardware store. Although, I must confess, thirty minutes were spent arguing with this totally whacked-out new age guy.

“Charles,” a very friendly local chap, was trying to be helpful in the screen aisle. After “helping” us, he asked me what I did for a job. When I told him, we ended up talking about the life issue. He started spewing off this nonsense about how all life (human, animal, vegetable, etc.) is equal. Unable to help myself, I told him that his comment was completely ridiculous: “How can you equate swatting a housefly with killing a child?” I really wasn’t in the mood to argue. Honestly! But how could I let someone get away with saying such outrageous things? (This is why I get into trouble so often. And poor Kevin gets dragged along for the ride!) That brought up the point of how a person determines what is right or wrong. Charles said he knows what’s right inside his heart. That’s nice . . . BUT if it’s just what someone happens to think, is right or wrong, that’s really scary – because it’s so unpredictable. That’s why it’s important to have an absolute moral standard (i.e., the bible). Obviously, I think that my morality (the bible) also makes sense. That’s because God created the mind and is a God of order.

It was incredible, to me, how Charles was so concerned about “agreeing” with me at the end of our conversation. Truth be known, it’s not important to me to agree with people. I can disagree with someone and still be their friend (e.g., Kevin is my best friend and we disagree on things now and then). It was obvious Charles wasn’t comfortable with that. Charles is the type of person who has probably read all those “success” books and tries to implement them in every day life. Those people really annoy me. Karen and I were recently talking about this lady we know who reads all those “how to climb the corporate ladder” books and is constantly trying to implement the principles she’s learned. She walks around saying things like, “My management style is . . .” How retarded is that! I mean, it’s okay to read them, just don’t act in a way that makes it so obvious you’ve read them!

In my next life, I think I shall try to live as though I have no opinions at all. It makes things much less complicated that way. (And it would probably be better for Kevin’s nerves, too.)