For those of you women out there who have accomplished the task of potty training a toddler, wow, I really respect you a lot. You are an amazing person who is completely underappreciated by the masses. You are an attentive, creative, gifted, articulate, persuasive, and most of all patient person. If the world won’t sing your praises, I will do it here on my blog.
This morning was my first attempt at trying to potty train Meredith. I read up on the subject, armed myself with all the necessary materials, created anticipation on Meredith’s part, and after only three hours I decided that if she gets potty trained by age 13, just in time to switch from diapers to maxi-pads, that’s okay with me.
At this precise moment in time, if you were to ask me which task do you think would be less challenging, potty training a two-year-old or negotiating with a hostage-taker, I would likely choose the hostage-taking situation.
We did have one successful time, first thing in the morning. That was followed by three “number one” accidents and one “number two” accident. Never mind the fact that she had been sitting on the potty for lengthy periods of time before each accident. Just before one of the accidents, she started getting off the potty and I told her, “No, you need to stay on the potty.” Meredith looked up at me and said, “But I can’t get no pee out!” Oh, okay honey, I guess you can get up to play for five minutes. Within thirty seconds there was a puddle on the floor the size of the Atlantic Ocean.
While on the phone trying to explain all this to Kevin, I told him, “You know, there’s only so much a girl can take. After three hours of getting peed on, pooped on and spit up on [because of caring for Clara too], I can’t take it any more. It’s not THAT important to me right now. It’s a beautiful day outside. The sun is shining. I’m getting out of this house and I’m going to take advantage of that sunshine.”
So I think we’re going to take a break for a few months, or maybe until 2010.
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16 comments:
Amy,
I would encourage you to read this book. I have not tried it *yet* because I have way too much on my plate to worry about it until after the move, but my sisters have used it and it WORKS! With boys and girls! I have a copy myself but am still putting off reading it.
In the meantime, Kathryn randomly comes and tells me "I need to go potty", runs in to her little potty, strips down, sits there for a little while, then comes back to me and says "okay, Mom, I need a diaper now". :-O
Don't give up after only one day! It takes a good, solid week to not only get Meredith accustomed to actually USING the potty, but to also see some results! Give it another couple of days at least!
Well, maybe I'll try again tomorrow. Now that I've had a few hours to mull it over better, I'm less passionate about my resistence. I did, however, already take the Elmo potty and put it in a dark corner of the basement. But now that I think about it, I might get it out again. I was getting frustrated and this was rubbing off on Meredith. That's probably the biggest reason why I quit.
Micah, I did read another "do it in a day" book and maybe that's why I was frustrated--I expected better progress and we weren't getting anywhere. I'll have to pick up that book too.
Thanks for the encouragement.
So sorry it didn't go very well. I've been putting it off myself but am thinking of trying in the next month or so with one at a time. :)
Hope it goes better if you try again tomorrow or whenever. Don't stress yourself out - she'll be potty trained by at least 12! :)
Well, I tried the do-it-in-a-day method with D1 and it took us 19 months. It did happen eventually, though.
I think whether short-term potty training works depends on the mother as well as the kid. I just can't focus that consistently on any one thing for a full day or week. You have to reinforce *right away* for it to work. And I can't, without wishing to lose my mind.
So with D2 I'm going to take a much, much slower approach. We'll get him a potty in a couple of weeks. Let him sit on it when he wants to. If he ever manages to get anything in, we'll make a huge deal out of it. But in the meantime, he's staying in diapers!!!! And if he hasn't figured it out the slow way by the time he's three, we'll try working on it harder.
Neither of my older ones were potty-trained until they were three, which simplified matters. Of course, Stuart was still Mr. Oblivious most of the time. The accident-right-off-the-potty is painfully familiar! Take it slowly. She will be out of diapers before she needs pads. :)
And your post made me laugh out loud.
-- SJ
Don't fret about it! I've been given advice that waiting 6 months and trying again is ok especially with some kids. We are still trying to perfect the process with T and it has been over a year since the first try, totally the opposite of I. Every child is different and as many encouraging women have told me, they'll be potty trained some day. Also, waiting for the best time for you is absolutely crucial (the reason why T hasn't been totally trained until now). My thoughts are with you, the process is frustrating and sometimes absolutely crazy.
I gave up on the books - there are SO many different methods out there, and they all contradict each other and make it sound like if you don't do it their way you will be dooming your child to a life of Depends. But I notice that most kids are potty trained by like, age 8 or so. :)
Anyway, I hope it gets easier for you!
And I totally agree that a lot depends on what's going on in the family, maybe even more than whether or not the kid is "ready" (whatever "ready" means, and however you tell if they are!). At least that is my observation from my own dithering over the timing, and my limited attempts at training H.
Amy, I LOVED your post because that is EXACTLY how I feel about potty-training. i tried the first child at age 2 and it took nearly two years before she was mostly accident-free and dry at night. I was determined to wait until 3 with child #2 and low and behold he was totally trained and dry at night in one week! I was hoping that would be the case with child #3 and so I waited until nearly 3 years. but, I must say, this child needs to be reminded all the time to go and has frequent accidents. Forunately, he is able to change himself now!
i think potty-training is one of those things you have to figure out for yourself, after gleaning as much as possible from everyone else. :) And, it really does feel like one of THE hardest things about being a parent.
For the last two kids, I have set aside a few days to do nothing but sit in the kitchen (which can be boring). I feed them lots and lots of strong juice (which they gulp because they don't get it) and I leave their bottoms off so we can quickly see when we need to rush to the potty, which is also sitting in the kitchen (our kitchen is the only room without carpet). Of course we make a huge deal with clapping, treats when they actually go on the potty. :) I'm sure you are doing all this too. Sometimes it takes them awhile to figure out what is happening with their bodies. :)
"Good luck" :) and, I agree with the other commentors -- you have to do this when it will be suitable to your schedule and stress levels! Sometimes buying more diapers and stretching the budget is worth it for awhile. :)
Cheers to you for attempting the brave, the daring, the impossible task of potty-training!!!!
Take heart Amy. Meredith will probably be potty-trained before Ben. We have bought different potty seats, checked out all the DVDs at the library, bought "big boy underwear," etc.... Every attempt involves tears (on his part) and begging me for his diaper back. I've talked to a lot of moms recently who said they had trouble with one of their children, usually a boy, and it didn't happen until 4. They usually have several other children who were potty-trained much earlier. This helps my self-esteem immensely. And those stupid books assume you have only one child to care for and absolutely nothing else going on in your life.-rlr
Don't fret about it, Amy. Potty-training Annaliese the first 4 months was exactly like you described for Meredith. I have now been doing it for almost 10 months. She has gotten to the point where she CAN stay dry all day when she wants to, but she has to be reminded to go potty all day long. I, too, still wonder if she will ever be potty-trained, but as I look back, I definitely see progress--slow, but steady. Someday, Meredith will "get it" and you will leap for joy!! I promise you.
I not only laughed out loud at your post but am taking in all the comments of others. I merely asked for INFORMATION about potty training and a host of people jumped down my throat telling me that my child wasn't remotely ready.
I think I got the message that there's no rush. I'm not feeling rushed. Doesn't sound like you are either anymore. I see it as being something that I'll be in for the long haul and it happens when it happens. Seems like anything you do to prep and try is beneficial. I think if Meredith knows what it IS and what is done with it -- you've already made progress! Well, I'm impressed anyway.
I went through the same thing with Kati!! How frustrating! Let me just say that you will know when she's ready!
Amy, thank you for this post, and thank you to everyone for their comments. I was so encouraged!!! I'm not the only one with potty-training blues!
I recently read an article about how this very devoted and attentive mother held her daughter naked over the toilet from birth. The mom watched her "cues" (turning red in the face and skirming) and would rush to the nearest potty. She said this imprinted her daughter to let her bowels go whenever she sat on (or was dangled above) a toilet.
I had to laugh knowing that my kids have to remind me to get them a drink with their meals!
In the real world we do our best. I'm personally a fan of doing the, "You're a big girl now" talk and putting the little potty right next to mine. Little girls love being like mommy. Also we put a piece of paper on the inside of the bathroom door and the little one gets to place a sticker on for each deed. 10 stickers = a special treat.
The best advice I was every given was to always put the underwear next first and then to wear a pull up/diaper when necessary when in the early stages. If an accident occurs it's still technically in the panties, but no mess in the car or on your friend's couch.
Worked for us
My mother-in-law always tells me that the 2 hardest things in life are potty training and teaching a child to drive. After my potty training experiences my children will be lucky to have their licenses by the time they are 25.
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