On Memorial Day, we did what many people across America do and went to a church picnic. I was feeling depressed that morning when suddenly, in the midst of slicing watermelon, I realized that I wouldn’t be able to partake in all the normal picnic activities that I love (because of my current maternal condition). It dawned on me that, for the first time ever, I was going to have to go to a picnic and not be able to play volleyball and engage in water balloon wars. Please note – it’s not that I don’t enjoy conversation with older ladies. It’s just that having my options be so limited wasn’t appealing to me.
To make matters worse, I had to stand there, while feeling very fat, and witness Kevin excitedly grabbing all his sports equipment from the house and the garage to load in the car and take with us.
I wasn’t going to say anything to Kevin regarding my state of mind because I didn’t want to mitigate his excitement about the picnic activities. As we were en route, however, he could sense that something was up and asked me what was wrong. I suddenly burst into tears and said, “I don’t want to have to sit and talk with all the old ladies. I want to play with the boys.” As soon as I said those words, we both burst out laughing. I think Kevin laughed because he was humored and I laughed out of pure relief to finally verbalize my frustrations. Kevin was also sympathetic and even offered to stay back with me and talk to the old ladies too. Of course I told him NO – but I did appreciate his offer.
Sigh … As time passes, I know I’ll realize more and more what a silly person I am. And also that the “sacrifices” I have to make in life really are very small indeed, in the vast scheme of things.
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4 comments:
I think the first time it dawned on us how much parenting was really going to rearrange our lives was six months ago, when we both took off work for simultaneous dental appointments. Afterwards they asked us when we'd like to schedule our next visit, and I immediately requested the same day, same time slot. Then we realised that...oh wait...we should stagger our appointments, since one of us would have to mind Baby. Amazing all the things you take for granted when you're young and carefree! At least having to sit out because you're pregnant is a far better excuse than missing out on all the fun because you're wearing a skirt. =)
~Rose
Motherhood is sacrifice! But it is joy too...the joys will be more than the sacrifices! But in the midst sometimes it is surely hard!
Elizabeth
Ohhh, Amy, I can totally sympathize with you! The last church picnic we attended had everyone out playing volleyball... except me. I hope your church is as loving as mine has been, they were SO encouraging about the mom-to-be-who-couldn't-do-anything. (The Pastor kept asking if I needed ANYTHING. His wife had a baby nine months ago, so it's all "old hat" to him.)
Kudos to Kevin too for offering to stay back and keep you and the older ladies company. Not many guys would. :)
And by the way, dear, you don't look the least bit fat!
Ah, lots of sympathy from here! I've been to four HSLDA picnics since getting married, and at every one I was either pregnant, watching a baby, or both!
I think we're more prepared to give up the big things than the little things. I mean, we can face having to live in a smaller house, making do with one vehicle, not going on cool vacations, etc. if we have a family. But we don't think we ought to have to give up little things we really enjoy, like sports or time to read.
I think my big adjustment was when I realized I no longer could just hop out of the car and run into a store.
The fact is, we do have to give up some things, and the joys of motherhood aren't always immediately strong enough to soothe the loss. I'm learning to keep up a good attitude and realize that life is about enjoying what you have at present, especially if it's the far greater good of having a child! So cry, then smile, and roll with it. :)
-- SJ
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