On Memorial Day, we did what many people across America do and went to a church picnic. I was feeling depressed that morning when suddenly, in the midst of slicing watermelon, I realized that I wouldn’t be able to partake in all the normal picnic activities that I love (because of my current maternal condition). It dawned on me that, for the first time ever, I was going to have to go to a picnic and not be able to play volleyball and engage in water balloon wars. Please note – it’s not that I don’t enjoy conversation with older ladies. It’s just that having my options be so limited wasn’t appealing to me.
To make matters worse, I had to stand there, while feeling very fat, and witness Kevin excitedly grabbing all his sports equipment from the house and the garage to load in the car and take with us.
I wasn’t going to say anything to Kevin regarding my state of mind because I didn’t want to mitigate his excitement about the picnic activities. As we were en route, however, he could sense that something was up and asked me what was wrong. I suddenly burst into tears and said, “I don’t want to have to sit and talk with all the old ladies. I want to play with the boys.” As soon as I said those words, we both burst out laughing. I think Kevin laughed because he was humored and I laughed out of pure relief to finally verbalize my frustrations. Kevin was also sympathetic and even offered to stay back with me and talk to the old ladies too. Of course I told him NO – but I did appreciate his offer.
Sigh … As time passes, I know I’ll realize more and more what a silly person I am. And also that the “sacrifices” I have to make in life really are very small indeed, in the vast scheme of things.