Thursday, January 17, 2008

Quaker Questions

Ever heard of the Quaker Questions? Last night I went to a fondue party with some friends from my Mother of Preschoolers (MOPS) group. About halfway through the evening the “mentor mom” host directed the conversation to the Quaker Questions.

The Quaker Questions: 1) Where did you live when you were six years old and who lived with you? 2) How was your home heated? What were the winters like? 3) What person, place, or thing was the center of warmth in your life when you were a child? 4) When did God become a “warm” being to you and how did this happen?

I had experienced this icebreaker about a year ago. It’s a creative way to dig deeper and get to know people’s backgrounds more. One person remarked how each question gets harder to answer.

After spending an evening with these ladies I realized more how blessed I am to have met them. They are a sincere and transparent group of women, which I value.

As important as it is to maintain old friendships, I think it’s also important to make new friends and always be open to new friendships.

Sometimes as moms, it’s easier to stay home with our kids than make an effort to get out and be a part of the broader community. But I think that’s crucial to our well-being and it also enables us to bless others and society. (Obviously, our homes should be our priority. But in addition to being wives and moms, we are also neighbors, community members, and citizens.)

I think excessive blogging can even be a danger because it satiates our need to connect, while allowing us to avoid face time with others.

For me, not making new friends hasn’t been an option. In the past eight years, I’ve moved across the country three times. It’s been a choice of either making new friends or not having friends.

In many ways, I’m glad that I’ve been forced out of my comfort zone because each time I could have never guessed in advance the blessings of those new friendships.

9 comments:

Heather L. said...

I've never heard of those -- but they sound good!

Anonymous said...

It’s kind of like truth or dare...for people who aren't adventurous. Why are they called "Quaker Questions"?

Alaina said...

I have never heard of those questions but I'm sure it helps you get to know people quickly! I think making new friends is so fun!

Alaina said...

Oh, and I meant to say that I have something for you over on my blog. :)

the Joneses said...

I like the whole post, but the one part I'm commenting on is your remark that blogging satiates our need for contact, but without requiring face-to-face time. I've been following some other blogs frequented by a friend, and that's exactly what I see. The women have followed each other's online lives for at least a year, and often longer, and are good friends. But none of them has actually seen any of the others.

They can share things online that, in person, you'd never say except to a very close friend. So it does create an illusion of a close, forged friendship.

I love blogging, but I do have to remember that except for blogs of people I really know, everyone else is just showing me just what they want me to see. But if you're lonely or shy, it's more comfortable to take this easy way out, and forget that you're not seeing a whole person online.

I should have done a post all on my own instead of taking up your comment space. But as usual, you articulated what's been in my mind. :)

-- SJ

Chismville said...

Hi Amy!
I just attended my first MOP's meeting last month. I really liked it for the support and fellowship and chance for my kids to enjoy other little people. The other afternoon when David and I felt like getting together with a couple in the evening, but hadn't planned ahead to invite someone, I was joking how we could sit in front of our laptops and read people's blogs and socialize with our internet friends. You're right in saying we need real facetime too for good fellowship.
Blessings,
Joli

Stephen, Sarah, Nora and Joseph said...

I'm glad to hear you're connecting with other young moms in Indy. I really need to make more of an effort to get connected similarly here in Dallas, but it can be hard to get over the hump in a new area. Your post encouraged me to step out there and try harder! Hope all is well with you!

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