I Give Up!

So, yesterday it was Kevin’s turn to go to the dentist. Before going, he had to fill out a questionnaire asking how often he flosses his teeth. Peeking over his shoulder, as he was filling it out the other night, I told him, “Don’t lie.” In other words, tell them how scarcely little you floss your teeth and how you only do it when your wife sends you venomous vibes and death threats and tells you that she wants your grandchildren to see your beautiful smile and you’d better floss NOW!

So, he put down “three times a week.” (And, that’s about how often I can talk him into flossing.) I must give him credit; he was truthful.

I must confess . . . I was looking forward to him going to the dentist so he could have a professional person reprimand him for his horrible flossing habits. “Maybe,” I rationalized, “I won’t have to remind him so often now.”

After his appointment, he called to tell me he didn’t have any cavities. He told me that his dentist said, “If all my patients had teeth like yours, I’d be bankrupt.” And, apparently (this is the worst), Kevin’s hygienist complimented him on his “brushing and flossing routine.”

"What?!" I probably screamed into the phone. "How can this possibly be?!"

ARGH!! I am so FRUSTRATED. I TOTALLY GIVE UP. Go ahead and don’t floss EVER AGAIN, Kevin. See if I CARE!!!!!

[His dentist must be a crock.]