My Mondays

Since the start of fall, Mondays have been sending me into a tailspin. It’s my busiest day of the week and we don’t even usually leave the house!

As we get into our routine, and the kids and I are seeing more patterns in the homework expectations, Mondays are starting to get a little better. At Highlands, homework expectations skyrocketed as soon as Meredith walked in the door of the third grade classroom. We feel that third grade has been a lot harder than second grade. I am simultaneously ecstatic by the depth and quality of learning and educational standards, and I am also, I will admit, overwhelmed.

Last Monday I decided to jot down some chronology of events so that someday I can look back … and remember.

[Probably the biggest challenge I have faced is parenting kids who are at different stages and have very different needs. I have a baby, a three-year-old, a first grader and a third grader whose academic load is getting more difficult and who is also an emotional, budding tween! It's hard, and I know other moms find it hard too. I’m stretched every day, but especially on Mondays.]

Here is what I wrote:

4:05—It must be the deepest part of my sleep cycle. Through the fog, I detect three-year-old Sophia at my side, complaining because her PJs are itchy. I calm her down, change her PJs, and escort her back to bed.

5:30—My alarm, that necessary evil, goes off. “I need to change the tone to something less shrill and invasive,” I think. Even though I will probably regret it later, I turn it off because I am simply too tired after the itchy pajama episode.

I usually get up really early because I still haven’t figured out any other way to “do” my life and still have time to sit and think for a few minutes. If I don’t have that time before the kids get up, I find myself slipping into depression. Time to myself, and consistent cardio exercise, are the best ways I know of for me to avoid the blues.

6:00—The next alarm goes off. “If I don’t get up now, I will have the worst day ever.” I creep as quietly as possible down the stairs—my kids are such light sleepers! My friend Robin recently said: “Quiet time with God is not about duty, it’s about relationship.” I don’t beat myself up if I can’t get to it every day, and a lot of days I can’t. I try to live in the spirit, reading my bible to foster relationship, and not out of obligation. Today I work on my Ezra bible study and read passages from various scriptures about God’s anthropomorphism, where he is described as having physical, human characteristics.

6:18—Carson starts fussing. Great! My plan was for him to sleep at least one more hour. I try to ignore him and keep reading.

6:22—He settles back down, thankfully. I utter a quick prayer, based on my reading: “Thank you God that your hands, ears, eyes, and outstretched arm guide me and preserve me. You understand and sympathize with my weaknesses. Your presence is here with me. Guide me today.”

6:24—Is that Sophia up there talking? Good grief! I close my study with Col. 3:23-24, which is fitting for a Monday: “Work heartily for the Lord and not men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive your inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.”

6:29—Yes, it was Sophia. And, Carson is stirring again. I send Sophia back upstairs, telling her it’s too early to get up. Crossing my fingers!

6:31—I read an email from Meredith’s teacher, Mrs. Miller. Mer has a Christian Studies Unit 1 test coming up, and also a New England states quiz, and a test on the 10 capitalization rules. I remember a conversation I had with a mom (“Brenda”) of a girl in Meredith’s class. The girl is an only child. Brenda shared with me all the work they are doing (flashcards, etc.), preparing for these exams. I try to suppress those thoughts. I don’t have the same time that Brenda does, but I want to help my daughter do well. This is a transition year for Meredith, where she is studying more on her own, but she still needs a lot of help from me to learn good study habits and how to be thorough.

6:38—Carson seems to be quiet again. I get coffee.

Maybe someday they will have an I.V. hook-up on coffee machines so I can just pump it into my blood stream and thereby jump start my day? Mmmmm. But I do love the multi-sensory effect of coffee. Warm mug, steamy, aromatic vapor, bitter creamy flavors, hot liquid pouring down my throat and into my belly, the affect of caffeine waking up my mind and sharpening my senses. It’s wonderful. Let’s face it, coffee is a drug.

6:41—I wake up Meredith to start her Christian Studies homework. I do oral review with her, based on highlighted material in her book. Usually we begin the day with math but after reading Mrs. Miller’s email I realize Meredith will need to use her Sacred Morning Time—the time before her siblings wake up—to study for her unit test.

Meredith is a highly distractible kid. I might even still be homeschooling five days a week if it weren’t for this fact. She is playful and creative and fun, but she often can’t focus to save her life, if her siblings are playing nearby. I frequently refer to the younger siblings as The Circus because there might as well be a three ring circus in the living room when they are playing and Meredith is trying to study.

7:10—I tell Meredith to write down the order of the days of creation and a few other things while I read more emails. She starts telling me about someone in her class who has a Kindle bible. I tell her to “Hurry and do your work before The Circus wakes up!” I get out some maps for her to work on. She has to memorize the location of 23 places on her Mesopotamia and Canaan maps.

7:29—Carson, wakes up again. He is making happy, babbling sounds. This means that he probably pooped.

I go get him and take care of all his needs. Everyone is awake now. And, honestly, I’m lucky today because usually they all are up before this.

I assign some work for Clara to do. Thankfully her teacher sent home a bunch of busy worksheets, which is not normal. Clara, as a first grader, still has lots of free time. And that’s how it should be when you are six! But she likes worksheets and so I am grateful that she has a few to work on right now.

7:44—After lots of “Mom, mom, mom!!” shouts from both Clara and Sophia, and Meredith asking questions in the mix of all that, breakfast is still not made.

I spend time trying to find one of those large erasers. The kids keep taking these things. It’s hard to stay organized when kids walk off with stuff all the time! At one point I tell Meredith to stop talking and do her work. There are tears! (How am I going to handle the teenage hormones if we are only eight and crying over small things? Seriously!)

Meredith is frustrated because she says I don’t understand the 10 capitalization rules test. I read Mrs. Miller’s email aloud to her. Clara keeps trying to talk to me while I am doing this.

The toast in the toaster is now cold. Buttering cold toast is so much more difficult. I get Clara to work on her cursive and urge Meredith to stay on task with her English grammar. In the meantime, I hear Sophia singing at the top of her lungs upstairs and I hear Kevin getting ready for work. He usually leaves the house by 7:00—and on Mondays he plays basketball at 6:00—but he wasn’t feeling well last night.

8:11—Kevin leaves for work. Everyone has had breakfast, except Carson still needs solid food. I feed him while I read the bible to the kids, sing our Psalm of the month, and go over both scripture and poetry memory. Clara is memorizing a cute poem about frogs going to school. We read God’s World Magazine, which is a favorite.

In the middle of all this, Clara interrupts because she can’t find scissors. I also get up to make her a warm wash cloth to place on the sty on her eyelid, which she hates and complains about. But if we don’t do it now, we will forget to do it later.

After Carson is put on the floor to play, he starts being cute and everyone is highly distracted. Sophia is by his side and refuses to come to the table, because she wants to play with the baby. I take five minutes to deal with this discipline issue.

In the meantime, Meredith has been distracted and decides to fill out a Sunday School form.

“Where were we at again?” I wonder, as I take a few sips of very cold coffee. It’s a good thing I like coffee any way it comes. While I find my place, all the kids get up to go play with Carson. Sigh.

8:47—The younger girls get dressed. I ignore toast crumbs all over my floor and I do New England states review with Meredith. I look for a visual resource that is helpful to her, but I can’t find it because the kids took it. Grrr! I also do math flashcards with Meredith. She did her math lesson on Saturday. I sometimes have her do math on Saturday, partly because Mondays are so full and partly because she really needs extra math practice. Since doing this, her math scores have gone up every week. It’s nice to know it’s working.

Every five flashcards, Meredith comments on something Carson is doing. I tell her to please focus, using the most patient tone of voice I can conjure up.

Sophia and Clara enter the room, dressed up in their frilliest attire, like they are going to visit Queen Elizabeth or something. They go to play with Carson and he starts screaming, not liking that his freedom of mobility is being infringed upon. They are fighting over him, each of them calling, “Mom, mom!!!” They need a mediator and that mediator is me.

9:18—Meredith is now working on Latin. I email Mrs. Miller (I’m pretty sure that they don’t pay that lady enough!) to further inquire about the upcoming exams.

Clara works on an assignment where she has to color, cut, and paste pictures with different vowel sounds into the right category. (Did I ever mention that I thank God for worksheets?! If anything, it cuts down on fighting and interruptions!)

Carson starts fussing. I make a mental note that I need to put him down for a nap soon.

But if I don’t start laundry first, quickly, it will never get done. I get out laundry and start sorting it. There will be seven very full loads today, which is typical.

9:26—I realize that all the kids are now playing together with Carson’s baby toys and singing very loudly. I tell Meredith to get dressed and finish her Latin worksheet, and then her spelling lesson, and then she can take a break.

Sophia and Clara are now fighting over Carson again and simultaneously banging on the piano. Is that Carson banging on the piano too? Please no! But, yes, he is doing it too. I tell Clara to read a book aloud to Sophia while I put Carson down for a nap. I suppress feelings of guilt that on Mondays Carson is largely ignored by me (although, he is largely handled by sisters always).

I take a speed shower and get dressed in my yoga-pants “mom uniform.” A little lip gloss helps me feel that I’m not too frumpy.

I strip the sheets off my bed to wash those too and notice that Carson is fussing a little in his crib and Sophia is singing.

10:01—Clara is crying (real tears), saying that she wants a break, like Meredith. I think to myself, “Your whole life is practically a break,” but I tell her she can have 10 minutes and Meredith can have 20 minutes. Meredith cries because she wants more than that. Sophia is hungry and eats leftover cold oatmeal.

Sophia then drops the heavy oatmeal bowl on her toe. She cries like her leg was chopped off or something. I get her the ice cold “ducky” we keep in the fridge to soothe her. I also get her two floor puzzles, to keep her busy, and then I turn to check Meredith’s work. I am impressed that she looked up some bible passages on her own, using my phone. Maybe she is getting more independent after all?! Yes!! I clear the breakfast dishes and notice that Carson is finally settling down. I look ahead at what I need to do with Clara and Meredith later in the day.

Meredith and Clara decide to play school during their free dime. They are fighting over who gets to be the teacher. I silently hope they figure it out without me having to intervene. (They did.)

Meanwhile, Sophia is crying for me to help her with the puzzles because they are too hard. I can’t. I feel so busy. I go upstairs and get her a few easier puzzles and promise that I will help her with the harder ones on another day.

I realize I still have some cold coffee in my mug and swig it all down. Carson is crying again. What is up? He usually goes down for naps so easily.

While I’m scanning Clara’s assignments for the day, Sophia wants me to WATCH her while she sings “Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes.” “No, mom, watch me!!” So I stop looking at my stuff and give her my undivided attention for a few minutes, which she sings the song multiple times.

10:19—I go to print a spelling page for Clara and get distracted reading an article that Kevin sent me, about a new development here in Zionsville.

I go to rock the baby but notice he is quiet again. I change the laundry and give Clara her spelling sheet, which Meredith happily supervises, as part of their “pretend” school play time.

Sophia reminds me (third time) that her nose is running and she wants medicine. Meredith and Clara say they are STARVING and need snacks now or they will die. I get snacks and medicine.

10:31—Okay, the poor boy has been neglected enough. When Carson starts crying AGAIN, I get up immediately and go to rock him. He burps three times and then falls asleep easily. I pop a few pretzels in my mouth—I’m hungry too!—and get my phone out to research how to remove a dry erase marker stain from Meredith’s skirt.

10:42—I give Meredith and Clara more flashcards to work on, with each other. I work on the stain, noticing a mountain of dishes in the sink, but choosing to ignore it for the time being. Sophia is happily doing puzzles. Puzzles save the day!

10:47—The stain is out. I add “rubbing alcohol” to my grocery list.

I compliment Sophia’s puzzle prowess, calling her a “magic puzzle lady” which makes her giggle out loud. I assign Meredith some Greek Myth’s review work, astronomy review, and some more math.

I sit down to do reading, phonics, and math facts with Clara. We are interrupted by Meredith, who wants to tell us that her dream is “to ride a trotting horse.” Later, she wants to tell us that she thinks “there is fungus on the flowers” in the vase by her side. All I have to say is: “Do your work girl!!!”

Sophia starts interrupting. A lot. I decide to send Sophia upstairs with the iPad to help eliminate distractions.

11:32—I assign Clara a world geography coloring page. Sophia screams from the bathroom that she needs help wiping her “big, squishy poop” (her exact words). So I oblige. And, I must say, her description was apt. When I return, Meredith and Clara are playing with some bracelets. “Stay on task girls!!”

I look at my personal to-do list. Dream on, girl! Nothing you want to do/feel you need to do is getting done today. Today is about survival. I start making lunch. I give Clara her spelling test.

11:55—I enter Clara’s spelling words on the spellingcity.com website, to give her extra practice. I finish making lunch, while providing moral support to Meredith to please finish Greek Mythology.

12:07—While passing by the front door, I notice someone had rolled up the entry way rug. I unroll it. Meredith asks me, “What is the golden apple of discord?” at the same time Clara asks me to please come see her spelling score. I yell to Clara to wait a minute while I try to figure out this apple-of-discord thing.

No one is screaming or asking for anything right now so I hurry and change out the laundry and halfway unload the dishwasher. I pick up the table for lunch, ignoring the rest of the dishes and ignoring all the crumbs on the floor again. Crumbs on the floor drive me crazy.

12:21—I divvy up the lunch. Sophia spills her entire bowl of macaroni and cheese all over the floor. After cleaning it up, we sit down for lunch. I read a couple of chapters of “Gooney Bird Greene,” which the kids love. We have a conversation about how important it is to work. In our family, we work hard and we play hard. (Only on some days, the work seems really disproportionate!)

Sophia spills her drink, splattering it up the sides of the cupboards and on the floor. Clara helps clean it up (thanks, Clara!).

Sophia gets injured and needs her ice “ducky” again to comfort her.

12:49—I assign Meredith more astronomy work and send Clara and Sophia to play outside. I finish the dishes and transfer more laundry.

Carson is now awake again. I make him a bottle and give it to him. Meredith is doing an amazing job right now of staying focused. It’s about time.

1:13—Meredith needs help reviewing her literature guide. I change the baby and sit down to do that with her.

Noise levels reach a crazy pitch. There is a big fight over who gets what coloring page and Sophia simply does not understand that I can photo copy it and multiple kids can do the same page. The attempt to reason exhausts me and I send Clara and Sophia upstairs with the baby. “Just keep small objects away from him, okay?”

1:59—I send Meredith outside (it’s a beautiful day) to read 27 pages of “Farmer Boy” and fill-out her literature guide page / copy work on the back patio. Laundry needs to be transferred again. Then it’s time to feed Carson his solids. He is a hungry, growing boy!

Clara asks for help to complete her spelling work that she failed to finish before lunch. She also needs help because everything on the computer is enlarged. I finally figure out that the “magnifier” has been messed with and fix it.

The kids ask for juice and I get it for them, not wanting to risk more spills. I tape up a bunch of puzzle boxes that were already in a bad state of disrepair but, after Sophia handled them, are now completely falling apart. Sophia and I work together to pick up the puzzle pieces, scattered all over the floor, so Carson will not chew on them and thereby destroy them or conversely choke on them.

Clara informs me that her spelling words timed-out on the computer, and so I need to retype them for her.

I wipe up the baby and give his high chair a quick wipe down, but you would never know it by looking at it. His high chair is absolutely disgusting.

I read my email. Mrs. Miller had gotten back to me. The maps memory and grammar rules memory requirements seem like a lot right now. Yikes! I hope Meredith is ready for these exams. I make a list of a few things that Meredith needs to work on, for tomorrow.

2:40—The coffee pot starts calling my name again. I make more coffee, this time with a little bit of celebratory pumpkin pie spiced creamer. Meredith is done with school now and is playing “ball” outside with Carson. The rest of the day should be downhill, right?

Actually, I’m in a celebratory mood because today we finished school a full hour earlier than we did last week and the week before. Maybe we are getting better at this routine. Relief washes over me.

I put on my iPod so I can listen to my book—“A Year in Biblical Womanhood” which is giving me a lot to think about—while I put away school stuff, clean up the kitchen, sweep, finish dishes, and try to make more headway with the laundry. I walk around the house closing toilet lids, since Carson’s new favorite pastime is playing in them.

3:14—The kids fold and put away their laundry, while I fold more laundry, and we listen to Story of the World history CDs. Carson goes down for a nap. Our friend Eden comes over to “help” with laundry and then stays to play. I keep folding. Three mountains down, two more to go …

3:50—A friend comes over to talk about a personal crisis in her life. I had missed the text message that she was coming over. She came even though I didn’t respond and I was glad she felt comfortable doing that.

4:34—My friend leaves and Meredith asks me to move the van out of the garage so she can sweep it. (Yes! She loves sweeping. I am lucky.) At this point I realize that not all of the laundry is getting done today. This is why I start it on Monday, to ensure it’s done by Tuesday afternoon so the kids’ uniforms are ready for school on Wednesday morning.

My “reading” (audio book) is very interesting. I am conflicted over it. I’m glad for the opportunity to think and learn and absorb language while I do chores.

5:06—Sophia asks me to examine a praying mantis with her. She is very excited to talk about all of the details of its body. My girls love creepy crawlies.

I tell the kids to start cleaning up outside and get ready for their grandpa to come and take them (Meredith and Clara) to Bible Study Fellowship.

5:20—Grandpa leaves with the older two kids. I order a pizza. I deserve it! I figure that can load the kids up in the bike trailer and ride my bike to go pick it up and it will be just about the right timing. So, I give Sophia a bottle to feed Carson in the bike trailer, put on my helmet, and we are off.

I need the cardio (see above). And I desperately want to enjoy this beautiful fall weather we are experiencing. The colors on my ride are so pretty, the leaves so crunchy, and it’s so enjoyable to feel the cool wind and sunshine on my back.

6:22—We arrive back home and the pizza is surprisingly intact. I make a salad and play with Carson and read “Naked Mole Rat Gets Dressed” by Mo Willems to Sophia, which is supposed to be funny but instead generates like 57 questions.

6:57—Kevin is home now. We are eating a candlelit pizza dinner. We are watching a hot air balloon sail across our backyard.

Not a bad way to end a crazy Monday.

________________________________

And since I'm so behind on pictures, here are the kids on the first day of school, right after Labor Day.

 

 

 

 

 

The good comes with the bad. Apparently.

I'm trying the Blogger app to see if perhaps it might help me to post things from my phone in a more timely manner. It's amazing how as a mom (or maybe as anyone, but I only know what I know) time just flies by. And all those blog posts that I meant to post in a timely fashion are now irrelevant. I know, I know. I should have tried this app sooner. We will see how it works out!

Today is one of those days that I could label a really sucky day. Yesterday morning the blower on our furnace went out. Not only is it not my idea of a fun way to spend $430, it's also not a thrill to be without air conditioning on the two hottest days of the year so far. (Why should I be complaining when at least I HAVE air-conditioning? I know. I am so pampered.) 

And so, the HVAC guy was supposed to come fix the furnace between noon and five today. Of course, he came at 5:15. So we were house bound, in an increasingly sweltering house, all afternoon, longing for just a quick dip in the pool or a whiff of conditioned air to soothe our sweat-caked bodies.   

While I sat withering on the couch (unable to do housework--or anything else productive--because of the heat), the kids' creativity came to the rescue. They put on a play, complete with Meredith announcing an intermission and a set change. The play was a very funny rendition of The Frog Prince--mostly funny because Meredith gave Sophia (who was the frog) all of her cues and Sophia dutifully obeyed. 

I got everything on video. What a precious moment with my three girls. The good comes with the bad. Usually days aren't all good (it's a fallen world after all) or all bad (God's grace is evident everywhere), but life happens somewhere in the middle. May I continue to see the good every day. Unless, of course, I die of a heat stroke in my own home first!

And here are my favorite actresses in the world: 

Blessings Flowing

Good things can happen when you talk to strangers. I found that out after I struck up a conversation with a lady at my neighborhood pool last June. The kids splashed in the water. I was probably in the water with them, too, wearing my maternity suit. Lori was there with all her kids, and her ever-sunny, attractive disposition. After chatting for a while, Lori invited me to join a semi-monthly mom’s group at her church. I liked this lady. And her group was similar to MOPS, and I loved MOPS. I missed MOPS. So, I said yes.

I knew when I walked through the doors of Lori’s church last fall that I had made the right choice to come. For starters, the smell of coffee permeated the building. There’s nothing that screams “welcome” more loudly than a freshly brewed pot of coffee. But even better, there were so many other moms who were there with smiles on their faces and open hearts—not perfect women but women who wanted the same thing I did. Transparency. Growth. Consolation. Empathy. Encouragement. Time to learn. Time to laugh a little. Space. A place where I could stop working and striving and just be. Just be me. Just be me, and be accepted and loved.

The year before, I had weekly homeschool group. But that didn’t cut it. That was different. Homeschool group serves its own important place, to keep you accountable in your work teaching your children. It’s not a place to relax and be loved on for two hours.

At this mom’s group, older women made us a hot brunch and came to speak to us, and encourage us, and help us recharge our batteries, so we could go home and be better moms.

Last year, I felt so depleted, I cannot adequately explain to you, even after all this time, space, and distance, how depleted I was. I don’t think of myself as a perfectionist but when I think something is important, I will give it 100%. Homeschooling took over my life. I wasn’t able to find balance. All the forces in my life collided together and took me to the brink of desperation.

It is hard for me to write when I am still trying to process my thoughts. In a way, writing helps to distill my thoughts. But, ultimately, I need to ruminate for a while, before I can put it down on paper. I’m still not sure I’m done processing everything that happened last year. But I am starting to get more clarity. In fact, a friend sent me an article (I will repost at some point) a few months ago and suddenly more lights went on. I think I am almost at a point of feeling recovered and like I can put my finger on exactly what happened, where I’m at, and where I want to go from here.

A gal can plan her way, but God directs her steps. I know the things that happen in my life all happen for a reason. All of life is about adjusting and adapting to new situations and new ideas, as we live and read and gain experience.

In any event, I am thankful that I meet Lori at the pool last summer. I am thankful for the very timely mom’s group I have participated in. I am thankful for the love that has flowed down into my life, because of the investment of others. I want to give back more, too, and help others, too.

Here are some cards Clara and Sophia made today for their teachers at this mom’s group. Clara’s teachers are two very sweet, teenage homeschooled girls. Sophia’s teachers are an older mom and a dad who is currently unemployed and enjoys working with kids. They loved their classes so much. They were as blessed as their mom! These volunteers didn’t have to give of their time. They could have been doing other things on those two Friday mornings a month. But they did give of themselves. And we are grateful.

Thank you God that you provide our daily food. And it’s not just literal food. Sometimes the “food” we need is smiling faces, offered friendship, and fresh coffee.

Happiness

I think I’ve figured out the recipe for my personal happiness. 

I have heard that having a sense of purpose is the common denominator of happy people.  I think this is probably true.  I also acknowledge that all my springs are in God and without him there would be no reason for living and no happiness. But when I say I’ve figured out the recipe for my own happiness, what I mean is that I have pinpointed the blessings that God gives to his children that I particularly enjoy and fill me with a sense of pleasure.  So here they are:

1. Time to think and also write, if I have the urge.
2. Freedom to get up and go when I have the urge. (I am very independent.)
3. Something interesting to read.
4. Good food to eat.
5. A little sprinkling of random adventures and experiences.
6. Connecting with a few good friends a few times a week (including my husband, who is by far my closest friend, and my kids).

Generally I am an eternal optimist.  In fact, Kevin has nicknamed me "Pollyanna" and calls me that when I am especially obnoxious in my optimistic observations.  

But I confess, I have been a tad down lately.  And here is why: the little time I have to carve out for myself to think/write, get up and go, read interesting things, make good food, seek out random adventures, and connect with friends, has been completely sucked up by an overwhelming need to sleep (it’s my third trimester of pregnancy and I’m paying my dues) and just the general busyness of life with a young family.  While I wouldn't trade my family for anything, and I would choose to have four children all over again if I had the chance, it’s still just plain hard some days. And I acknowledge that I have had the attitude of biding my time lately. 

When Sophia cups my face in her hands and says, “I love you soooooo much.”  Or Clara asks, “Mom, someday can you take me to that state (country) that has the kangaroos?  I really want to go there with you someday.” Or Meredith surprises me with a homemade card telling me I’m the best mom, those are all rays of happiness pouring into my life that I will miss someday.  So right now I’m trying to capitalize on those really happy times, that are so fleeting because kids grow so fast, and not focus on the fact that the things that generally make me happy are rather elusive right now. 

Have you noticed that the things that are the most worthwhile and the most valuable in life are the usually the things that involve the most work and the most sacrifice?  For example: a good marriage, transparent friendships, a deeper walk with Christ, successful child-rearing, etc.  

This weekend I am particularly reminded about how much I love the freedom to flit around and eating good food and having time to write because I have been given those things.  Kevin took all three kids camping with some neighbors and I have the next two days all to myself.  Yes, he is a very brave man!  But this will also be a great memory for all of them (or at least the kids, haha!).  Sophia, who is only two-and-a-half, was so excited that “we going camping!”  She doesn’t even know what camping is but she is excited. 

So far, I am only four hours into my “weekend off.”  I have run some errands.  I particularly enjoyed leisurely strolling the aisles at Trader Joes and choosing some fun chocolate and cheese for the weekend.  Then I went to a Greek restaurant that I have wanted to try for months and ordered a gyro to-go.  It was worth the wait!  And now I am sitting here listening to the Jason Mraz station on Pandora, eating chocolate from Trader Joes, and uploading photos while I write. 

What shall I do tomorrow?  There are so many options but I think I shall go Christmas shopping.  This baby is due in December, after all.  If Christmas happens this year, it won’t be because I procrastinated.

Maybe happiness is ultimately seeing the blessings in every day life?  Maybe that’s harder to do when you are tired and overwhelmed.  But one thing I do know: I am a very blessed lady. 

Now I need to go refill my chocolate. 

Oh, and here is a picture of Sophia "helping" me get ready for their camping excursion today.  Isn't she the cutest thing?  Ever?   

 

Shorts

Tell me if this has ever happened to you.  You are sitting on the couch reading Little Critter books to your children when you suddenly hear water gushing in your basement.  At first you are in denial and then you rush downstairs to see that, yes, it really is true.  All of this comes at a very bad time.  Your husband is still in bed recovering from a difficult surgery.  You are exhausted.  You are not sure whether you should sit down and cry or tell your children to get on their bathing suits and have some fun.  

We got four buckets to catch the water.  The kids thought it was great.  I called the plumber.  He came within the hour and told us it was a problem with the dishwasher, not the plumbing.  His rationale didn't make sense.  Since there was no way that Kevin could get on his hands and knees to investigate, Father-in-Law came to the rescue.  He found that a paintbrush had gotten caught in the trap underneath the sink and was causing water to back up and and flood the dishwasher and leak through to the basement.

Note: Do not ever call plumber "Rick" again.
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May 2012 will go down in infamy.  If a rough surgery and plumbing issues weren't enough, we also got sued.  The day I got served summons, my first thought was: "How appropriate.  This is already the worst week of my life.  Why not get sued, too?  Awesome."

Fortunately, my husband spends all day, every day, defending lawsuits.  He said, "Do not worry."  Also, fortunately, our auto insurance company hired a really awesome trial attorney to defend us.  Our attorney was incredulous at how little property damage there was as a result of the auto accident that prompted the lawsuit ($185), and how much medical damages the plaintiffs are alleging ($475,000).

Life is never dull.
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Recently I decided the two older girls needed new electric toothbrushes. As soon as I saw the packs of toothbrushes, I knew there would be a problem.  No, actually, there would be a near-war.  There was only one girly-colored toothbrush in each pack.  Do the toothbrush manufacturers really think that all families have one boy and one girl?  What about the two-girl families?  I bought the packet that had one pink toothbrush and one green toothbrush, and I braced myself for a battle when I got home.

I put the toothbrushes in a paper bag and told the girls that they had to close their eyes and pick a toothbrush from the bag.  "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit," as Clara's teacher Mrs. Hicks would say.

Despite the prepping and the speeches I gave them about being content with whatever color they got, World War III did in fact nearly break out.  Thankfully Kevin was home to help with the aftermath.

These little things really matter when you are four and six years old.
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My parents and two younger siblings are in town and it has been wonderful to have them here.  We have enjoyed the visit and the extra sets of hands to help!  I have even slept in a few mornings.  Yay!

In the midst of this crazy time, we also had another distraction.  We participated in Lemonade Day, which is a program to teach business skills to kids. We had a lemonade stand last weekend and it was fun.  Although, since the kids participating were all under the age of eight, it was a lot of work for the moms too.

I plan to write another post about this sometime soon.  It really was a great learning experience for Meredith.

Our major contribution to the lemonade stand was making all the cookies.  I had some of the kids come over to our house to help make the dough.  Two of the kids were four and the other two were six and seven.  The four-year-olds started playing "sandbox" with the flour at one point.  They each wanted to have a turn cracking eggs into the bowl.  Sophia, age 2, was also along for the fun.  She kept trying to lick the sugar off the counter and begging to help with every step.  We tripled the recipe, twice.  So, we ended up with 58 giant sugar cookies.  I think I deserve a medal for having survived this experience.

Sometimes I think I do everything the hard way!
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Did I say that May 2012 will go down in infamy?  There is another reason. I have been very fatigued and nauseated with morning sickness this entire month.  Yes, we are expecting #4.  Someday I will be very happy about this fact.  Right now I am still trying to survive!

In a Week

Exactly a week ago, Kevin was snugly tucked away at a surgery center to spend the night recovering from his ACL repair operation.  At that point we were still very naive concerning what would transpire during his journey toward recovery.  It has been a very bumpy road.

This has probably been the most difficult week of my life: watching Kevin suffer, and trying to keep up with his care while juggling everything else.  I still have not had a solid night of sleep in over a week.  But there have been blessings in the midst of this too.  I will get to that later.

It didn't help that minutes before Kevin was supposed to be discharged on Saturday morning, he blacked out on a stairwell while doing physical therapy.  I was sitting in his room reading a book and waiting for him to finish doing a lap on crutches with his physical therapist.  Suddenly the therapist, a nice guy named Kyle, rushed into the room looking frazzled and holding Kevin's crutches. I found Kevin in another room on a bed, as white as a sheet.

Over the next few days there were issues with immense pain and also bleeding that refused to stop.  The doctor ordered Kevin to stop all physical therapy and stay off his constant-motion machine until the bleeding was under control.  Kevin was very frustrated by this setback.

 

On Sunday night, Kevin started having a severe reaction to the vicodin he was taking.  He was nauseated and dizzy and had a tingling sensation all over his body.  He started panicking and hyperventilating.  I called his surgeon at 1 a.m. to get advice and see about changing his pain meds.  He ordered us to go to the ER.  Since Kevin could not move his knee without severe pain at this point (lowering his leg to the floor from the bed was excrutiating), I called an ambulance to come get him.  A neighbor stayed with our kids, who were sleeping, until Kevin's mom could come.

It seemed like 30 firemen suddenly descended upon our house.  Things must have been really slow at the Zionsville Fire Department that night and they were looking for some more excitement or something. But, seriously, they were all wonderful.  It was determined that putting Kevin in the stair-chair was out of the question because his leg needed to be stabilized.  So they secured him tightly to a stretcher and carried him down our L-shaped stairway and through the front door.  I followed the ambulance to the hospital.

They changed Kevin's meds for subsequent use but, while he was in the ER, gave him something eight times stronger than morphine (I forget the name) for some temporary relief so he could sleep.  It took the edge off the pain but even that did not completely take the pain away.  That is how badly he was in pain.  (During the ACL reconstruction, they took a ligament from his leg, including two bone plugs, to become his "new" ACL.  Then they drilled two more holes in his leg bones to fasten the new ligament.)

We finally left the ER at around 5 a.m.  Kevin moaned in pain with every bump in the road.  He asked me to take him home before picking up his new medicine at the 24-hour CVS.  I didn't answer him because I knew there was no way I would ever make it back out if I didn't get his pain meds right then.  I have never been that tired before in my whole life.

Midway through Tuesday morning, Kevin mentioned that he thought he had turned a corner in his pain management and that he was going to be okay.  Will there be life after ACL surgery? Apparently there might be!

Later that day, I could see in his eyes that things were better.  He has steadily gotten better every day since that Hell Night at the ER.

In the midst of all this, we have been blessed.  I am reminded that I shouldn't take my normal, pain-free life for granted.  Nor should I take for granted the fact that I normally get more than four consecutive hours of sleep each night.  I had to make a Target run on Monday and I felt like a zombie, walking around with no makeup and bags under my eyes, randomly sticking stuff in my cart, hoping it was the right stuff, but I couldn't be completely sure.  Of course, in that condition of sheer exhaustion, feeling like an ugly, haggard loser, I happened to notice all the cute, put-together women who were out shopping in their heels and perfect makeup.  Talk about depressing!  At that point I thought I might not ever be normal ever again.

But the biggest way we have been blessed is through the people who have reached out to us to help us and show their moral support.  Major kudos go to Kevin's mom, who has helped us in so many little and big ways, but especially in helping take care of the kids when I needed to give everything to taking care of Kevin.

We have also been amazed by our physical therapist Mark.  He was an acquaintance before this whole ordeal and he has become a friend.  When Kevin was at his lowest point, he came to our HOUSE each night after work to check on him and offer encouragement and help.  We could not believe he did this for us.  Mark was extremely kind to us.  We will not forget that.  Ever.

The surgeon, Dr. Klootwyk, was also amazing.  He came to the ER at 3:30 in the morning on Monday because "I couldn't sleep anyway and thought I would check on you."  He truly seemed to care, in addition to being an excellent physician. 

Kevin is now able to use crutches to get outside for a bit and he navigated the stairs twice today.  He is relatively pain free.  We are very blessed.  We made it through this awful week.  No doubt there are more trying times ahead.  But, for now, this hurdle has been surmounted.  God's grace is sufficient.  We are grateful.  We are blessed.

I'm off to bed.

Merry Go Round

Too much.  Sometimes life seems too much, in more ways than one.  Life spins round and round too fast.  When will the merry go round slow down a little, to a better pace, where there is more room to come up for breath?

It’s not just the busyness.  Although, it might help if I would stop signing the kids up to participate in all these amazing-sounding activities that arrive in my e-mail inbox all the time (e.g., a cow eyeball dissection class at the library, which truly was very educational and a fantastic experience for Meredith).  

I really do try to say “no” to things.  I try to limit our regular-weekly activities to one or two things each season. Other than Meredith’s weekly art class, the girls have done gymnastics and AWANA together this spring.  That is reasonable, right?!  But life still seems too busy, and too full, too often. 

Like I said, it’s not just the busyness that is overwhelming. It’s also the emotional things that I deal with.  It’s the constant refereeing.  All three of my girls have strong opinions and ideas and the younger two are especially type-A.  Kevin and I have been watching Downton Abbey on Netflix, while he does physical therapy exercises, and I love the mother’s quote, “No one tells you what it is like raising daughters.  You think it is going to be like Little Women but they’re just at each other’s throats all the time!”  Everything is a competition. 

One child seems to have some sensory issues a little bit. She is either extremely hot or extremely cold.  The smallest scrape sends her into fits of hysteria, so that you would think she had her arm chopped off.  Sigh.  As much as I try to constantly point the kids to Christ and mold their character, some days it seems like the efforts are just not paying off very well, especially concerning one particular child.  There is a lot of complaining and whining and immaturity from this particular child.  I feel weary and inadequate lots of days.  I usually have the kids by myself for about 12 hours a day and Kevin has to work some Saturdays to keep up with his litigation deadlines.  A lot of days it’s all I can do to get through the basics—basic school, cleaning up the messes that result from an active toddler, trying to keep the peace, trying to hold on to my sanity.  It has been a really trying spring, can you tell?

Today the older two girls and I attended a performance of Charlotte’s Web at a local college. It was a field trip we signed up for last fall.  Since we read the book last year, the kids were looking forward to it. I was feeling so tired, I was getting drowsy during the play. 4 ½ year old Clara was antsy and kept digging in my purse to try to find gum.  (Maybe she is still a little too young to take to these kinds of things?) Then we rushed back to grandma’s house to pick up Sophia so that we could take Clara to the plastic surgeon for a follow-up appointment.  

When the doctor removed the steri-strips, I was more than a little discouraged.  The scarring seemed really bad to me.  I know that beauty on the inside is what really counts, right?  But will this be a particularly difficult self-image hurdle for Clara to overcome? Some days I feel like I might not survive the preschool years. How am I ever going to raise three teenage daughters?!  And now one of them might have a massive scar between her eyes to deal with?  Yes, this seems really vain.  But, I’m just trying to keep it real.  

All of these thoughts are what was whirling around in this mother’s mind today.

The doctor wants Clara back in two weeks so he can do dermabrasion on the scar and hopefully that will help a little bit.  He was concerned, too.

Kevin has knee surgery to reconstruct his torn ACL on May 4.  My parents and two siblings will come for three weeks on May 8.  Clara will have dermabrasion done May 9. 

I don’t think the merry go round is going to slow any time soon.  I will just have to hold on tighter and pray.  Always pray.

Italian Pastry Diversion

Sometimes the days are so long and so hard.  It's so rare that I get any sort of break.  That is why those mandatory afternoon "quiet times" are absolutely golden. 

This week has been especially long since Kevin has had multiple evening engagements.  Yesterday I finally turned to the kids and said, "Is the reason you are so whiny because your dad has not been home?"  Then they started bawling louder.  If kids were at all logical, they would be extra kind when their dad is not home to help out their poor mom.  But, alas, kids are not logical.  

At the end of the day yesterday, when the kids were finally in bed, I decided to absolve myself of the guilt of dirty dishes and crumbs on the floor and that big, thick book I still need to finish for book club.  I decided to watch Cake Boss on Netflix.  

Let me just say: I love Cake Boss!!  

Here is this larger-than-life, boisterous Italian family in New Jersey, operating this 100-year-old bakery and producing these incredible cakes that can only be described as masterful works of art.  Last night I watched them make a Leaning Tower of Pisa cake.  Amazing!

I love watching them yell at each other and love on each other and make these beautiful creations.  It's 23 minutes of comic diversion for this tired mom's soul. I need that now and then. 

Escape

Tonight was one of those nights when Kevin came home from work and I was ready to implode with the frustrations of the afternoon. He took one look at me and said, "I think you need to go to Starbucks." So he strapped the baby on his back and began to mow the lawn while I grabbed the keys and headed for some caffeine and some solace. 

Before I left, I was talking to Kevin and used the word "freaking" as an adjective to accentuate my frustration. I use that word from time to time, even though I try not to use it in front of the kids. I also try not to use the word "crap" in front of the kids but I often fail. Sometimes that word is the only word that adequately and succinctly gets the intended meaning across. I'm not perfect and I've never claimed to be. 

There are some people who are so sweet and so pure that I can never even imagine them using the word "crap." I really cannot completely relate to those people. 

I think I'll finish off my iced coffee and read some other people's blogs. Oh yes, I also need to put a reminder on my calendar to watch the royal wedding. I told Meredith I would let her watch it with me. I love having daughters.