Amy Falls Prey to Yet Another Marketing Ploy

On Saturday morning we went to Sam’s Club to develop some film. It was supposed to be a very short, quick trip. But, over the loud speaker, it was announced that anyone showing up at a kiosk near the bakery in the next five minutes would get an “absolutely free, no purchase required” paring knife. Since it’s impossible to have too many paring knives, and since I like free things, I went off to get one. Of course, I had to stand there for ten minutes first and listen to the saleslady market her other wares. By the end of her speech, I was completely mesmerized by all of the really cool kitchen gadgets she had to offer. It turns out that, if I would only buy a knife for $30, called a “never-dull” knife (guaranteed to last a lifetime, never – ever – needing to be sharpened), then I would get a TON of other stuff absolutely “free.” I wasn’t quite convinced at first – until the saleslady cut through a coke can, part of a metal hammer, and then cut through a breadboard, showing that the knife had suffered no damage and was still as sharp as ever (she threw a tomato on top of the knife and the tomato easily sliced in half). As quick as I could, I grabbed the entire package and went to find Kevin. Kevin could not believe I was such a SUCKER. I told him that, if he had seen the demonstration, he’d be convinced too and that he’d have to “trust me” on this one. After all, I know a good deal when I see one. I assured him that I’d use this knife at least four times a week for the next fifty years – so he agreed to let me buy it. But I think, secretly, he thinks I’m gullible and an easy target. I’m sure that, next time I hear a similar announcement over the loud speaker, he’ll try to glue me to something so I can’t go. Saturday is a perfect example that “free” rarely, if ever, truly means “free.”