Parenting: Mending Hands and Hearts

As I tried to chop an onion for dinner, I was interrupted again by the text message alert on my phone. Kevin and I were debating back and forth whether or not to take a child to the ER. Her piercing screams of intensity had not died down since a hand injury, more than 30 minutes beforehand. The text read something like this: "I don't know. Parenting can be so hard."

Hard got harder a few seconds later, when I opened an email from another child’s teacher stating that there was an incident of looking over at a friend’s paper and copying answers (i.e., cheating) and it was a second offense. We never knew about the first offense, so we had never addressed it.

Time stood still--except for the screams and onion smells swirling around me--as I thought about what punishment would fit the crime and how we could reach the heart of this child so she would truly understand the seriousness of what she had done. Part of the problem was my pride, because I couldn't believe my daughter had done this. She should have known better. I don't really want to be known as the mom with the kid who cheats. I find it really difficult to separate my pride and inconvenience from the equation, and just focus on reaching the child's heart with the correct form of discipline.

So often, parenting stretches me to the near-breaking point. If I were working for just a paycheck, I would have quit a long time ago. But this job is for keeps, and there are souls at stake, adorable souls whom you love, and so you steel yourself against the winds of opposition, try to swallow your pride, and keep marching onward.

The injured child was examined more closely and started calming down once her dad got home. Thank you, Lord, because, although it’s never a good day to go to the ER, we would really appreciate not having to go today.

The child in the moral quagmire was removed for private discussions. Where to begin? Cheating is lying and stealing. How do we make this child realize the gravity of this offense? Is she even listening? Are we getting through to her? I’m so glad I have an astute spouse to team-parent with or this all would be entirely too overwhelming. Kevin spent an hour or more sitting down with her and going over bible verses pertaining the offense. He also told her--and I thought this was so wise--that he loved her no matter what she did. Not that cheating is ever right, but it's important for a child to know they are loved unconditionally. After all, that's how our heavenly Father deals with us, when we sin.

As a parent, you give your life, not by dying, but by doing something that is arguably more difficult: denying yourself; living each day sacrificially.

These things are not fun. I don't enjoy them, really. But, I think to myself, "Should I SURVIVE, they are meaningful, constructive, and ultimately rewarding." They are necessary. They teach us humility. They teach us the meaning of grace. They are sanctifying.

Common Courtesy and The Super Bowl

The Super Bowl has come to Indianapolis.  We are typically a rather football crazed town, but the frenzy has reached new heights this week.  Kevin works downtown and came home on Friday with reports of a transformed city.  So, last night we loaded the kids into the car and decided to spend an evening soaking up the Super Bowl village.  

We could have made it a date night and left the kids at home.  But we thought it would be a memorable experience for the kids so we took them along.  They loved it.  They loved the excitement and energy.  They loved watching the zip line antics.  They loved playing the little kids' games set up for the event.  They loved the Colts' Cheerleaders.  They loved getting a doughnut at the end of the evening.  They loved it all.  

Pushing the stroller through the crowds, however, was not the brightest idea I have ever had.  Actually, it was downright stressful to navigate the stroller through the throng, and try to keep up with Kevin and the older kids at the same time.  

People were extremely rude.  In fact, they were so rude, I could not even believe it and I'm still stewing about it 12 hours later.  Out of the thousands of people I encountered last night, there were maybe TWO people who didn't try to shove their way in front of me.  

I don't expect preferential treatment, but common courtesy would be nice.  Whenever I am without kids and see someone with little kids, I try to help them by holding the door, etc.  I always let a handicapped person go ahead of me.  There are just certain principles that apply when it comes to interacting with others.  All elements of decency seemed lost on the masses last night.  

Six years ago, I also pushed a stroller through a thick crowd.  I was in D.C. while Kevin attended a conference and I navigated the Metro during rush hour while pushing Meredith in her stroller.  At the time, I couldn't believe how kind and considerate people were.  I had never experienced so many helpful people.  They held the door for me, let me go first, offered to help me look for an elevator, etc.  

What has happened since then?  This morning I had coffee with a friend and she said, "Ever since the iPhone was invented, people have become more self-centered and less considerate."  I think she might be onto something. 

Although I greatly appreciate the thousands of ways that the iPhone helps me stay organized and research and communicate more efficiently, what is it doing to my society?!  It has made the world a better place.  It has also made it worse in some ways!  It enables people to be a lot more self-centered.  When they are out and about, they don't have to converse with people and interact with people.  In fact, they don't have to think about anyone else at all ... unless they want to check Facebook.  But they certainly never need to think about strangers or be considerate or kind.  

Some of those Super Bowl fans need to leave their iPhones in their pockets now and then, and take a look around them at the world that is beyond themselves.