Twirling, Needs, and Customizing Drinks

Meredith has landed squarely in the little-girl-twirling stage. She wants to wear the same purple dress every day and she spends a large part of her free time spinning in circles watching said purple dress floating around her legs.

Who ever told her she is a girl and she should twirl? No one.
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Lately Meredith has started telling us that she “needs” things. She’ll start off by stating that, for instance, “I want a pen.” When we tell her no, she’ll say (with urgency in her voice), “But I need one.”
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Meredith has finally caught on to the fact that I dilute her fruit juice. After tasting the full strength juice, she has become quite irritated at the fact that hers gets watered-down. She has started telling us, “No water in it!” when we pour her juice.

This morning I offered her some chocolate milk. As I got out the milk and the Hersey’s syrup, she yelled, “NO milk in it!”

Nice try, Meredith!

Videos of Mer

Here are some videos Aunt Shannon took last Wednesday. I tried to get the video screen up on the blog but I guess I'm just not that techno savvy.

S'up Girlfriend?

Quoting her bible verse.

Singing You Are My Sunshine.

Book Club #3

Last night the book club—I’m thinking we should probably get a proper name at some point—met and discussed Thrity Umrigar’s The Space Between Us.

Other than the fact that the ending was a little bit contrived, I thought it was a decent read. Not my favorite but definitely something that made me think and broadened my horizons a little bit.

The book is a novel set in modern day Bombay and is written from the perspective of two different women, from different classes. One woman is a wealthy Parsi and the other woman is her downcast servant who lives in the slums.

As the author states in the back of the book, “The novel deals with a relationship that, despite all the good will in the world, is ultimately based on the exploitation of one human being by another.”

This brought up some interesting discussion about the existence of class inequity in the modern world and whether or not there are any parallels in America. There were also some sub-issues that were interesting to discuss including abortion, women’s rights, failed marriages, choosing denial over truth, etc.

Of course, food is an essential ingredient of any book club. I made naan bread for the first time and bought some spicy mango chutney to go along with it. Since I wasn’t sure if anyone would care for the bread/chutney, I made an old favorite, orange ice cream cups. Oranges grow in India, yes? Yes. So, therefore, that was appropriate too.

Exorcism

Neither Kevin nor I are into horror films. I don’t mind suspense movies with jump scenes, when I’m in a certain mood and up for a scare, but I generally would rather not see depictions of ghastly evil constantly portrayed for two hours. I was, however, glad that we watched The Exorcism of Emily Rose last night.

Several months ago I got the film from the library and started watching it. By myself. At night.

After the opening scene, showing an eerie pumpkin patch, I turned it off and decided to wait until I had more company. Last night Kevin’s sisters and our pastor came over to watch it with us. I'm glad I waited.

It was very interesting to see a film where Faith vs. Reason was on trial. The film also brought up a host of questions about exorcism and demon possession. Apparently Emily Rose is based on a true story. Some of our discussion afterwards centered on how common or real is demon possession and can it happen to a true believer with the Holy Spirit residing in them.

If you’re up for it—and have people to watch it with you—I would recommend seeing it, if only for the reason that it will make you think. And if you’re into horror, you might also be entertained.

“In many of the documented cases [of demon possession], there are good explanations for [why a person is singled out for it]. There seems to be a pattern of people who get involved in the occult, or people who have been literally placed under spiritual curses. It does seem like there are certain warnings that ought to be avoided. But at the same time, as I read the New Testament, it seems like some of the people who are possessed just are. That they are victims of this fallen world.” –Scott Derrickson (writer/director of The Exorcism of Emily Rose)

A Marriage That's Good Enough

I’d love to hear what you guys think about this article (below).

This article made me smile. I think there’s definitely a grain of truth to it. Contentment is a great place to be and always searching for something better can only lead to misery. I like this article and I agree with it. But I guess I can’t relate to this woman entirely because, after nearly five years, I still think Kevin is a saint and he IS my best friend. Either I’m just a lucky girl or my rose-colored glasses have a lot of mileage on them.

A Marriage That's Good Enough
by Corinne Colbert (June 4, 2007)

My husband is not my best friend. He doesn't complete me. In fact, he can be a self-absorbed jerk. We're nearly polar opposites: He's a lifetime member of the NRA who doesn't care for journalists, and I'm a lifelong liberal with a journalism degree. On the other hand, he doesn't beat or emotionally abuse me. He doesn't drink or chase other women. He's a good provider. So I'm sticking with him.

Some people would call that "settling," like it's a bad thing. But I believe in settling.

The Random House Unabridged Dictionary defines "to settle" as "to place in a desired state or order; to quiet, calm or bring to rest; to make stable." In short, it means that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Alas, too many of us buy into a different adage: that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. From movies to magazines to commercials, we're told we should demand more from lives that are, for many of us, pretty good. We're supposed to look better, eat better, find better jobs, be better lovers and parents and workers. A stable marriage isn't enough; it's supposed to be a fairy tale. Perfection is the goal.

But at what cost? Would I really be any happier if I took up yoga and ate more soy? If my spouse wasn't just my partner, but also was my soul mate? I doubt it.

Settling, in my sense, is about acceptance. I'm a pretty happy person, in large part because I'm honest with myself about what I have. My body isn't bikini-worthy, but it's healthy. I'll never write for Rolling Stone as I once dreamed, but I am making a living as a writer. I yell at my sons and let them play too much GameCube, but I'm still a good mom.

Of course, some situations are worth improving. If your weight jeopardizes your health, exercise and change your eating habits. If your job makes you truly miserable, find a new one. If your marriage is toxic, end it. Chances are, though, you probably have what you need: a roof over your head, food on the table, a job that pays the bills, and family and friends. If you're unhappy, ask yourself: Am I unhappy because I really don't have what I need, or because I just want more?

So, yes, I'm settling. Sure, I wish my husband would kiss me more often, tell me he loves me every day, and get as excited about my accomplishments as I do. Emptying the dishwasher without being asked and giving me unsolicited foot massages wouldn't hurt, either.

All that would be nice, but it's not necessary. I'm happy with my husband who, despite his flaws, is a caring father, capable of acts of stunning generosity and fiercely protective of his family. Thinking about him may not set me on fire as it used to, but after 17 years and two kids, our love is still warm. And I believe that's good enough.

A New Park Find

We have enjoyed exploring new parks since moving to this new corner of the world last year. Last Friday we found an amazing park! I saw something online about a kids' movie night being held there. We packed a picnic dinner and headed off. We ended up not staying for the movie but we had a blast eating dinner by the lake and letting Meredith run wild in the squirt park and on the playground equipment.

The squirt park was incredible. It had two large “mushroom” water contraptions that squirted out water and made it flow into a man-made river. The river was shallow but pooled in several areas so kids could splash around. There were natural-looking rock formations and Meredith enjoyed jumping off the rocks into the water. At the end of the “river,” were more water spray features. It was so much fun for us to see our daughter having such a great time.

Then we spent some time drawing chalk art on the sidewalk. And daddy helped Meredith catch several fireflies after it got dark. It was such a great Family Night Out. I love my family!

Whirlybird

The other day I spotted this outline Kevin made and thought it was cool. Apparently it’s called a “Whirlybird” outline, something new he learned to organize your thoughts on paper without having a rambling linear outline. Does anyone else out there use this method? I couldn’t really find much info about it online. But, anyway, like I said, I think it’s cool.

Celebration

Megan is getting married. Soon. We had a fun girls’ night out last night to celebrate—with dinner at Bazbeaux Pizza and then dessert and more good times back at my house. Some of Megan’s friends from China put together a DVD with KC answering questions about him/her/their relationship and we watched it in segments with Megan answering the same questions beforehand. It was a total crack-up!

(Sorry to Heather and Stephanie—the retarded waiter apparently can’t take pictures without cutting off heads!)

Smile, Please

Here is something noteworthy I came across this morning. The first item on the list, “smile,” is something that I appreciate about how my parents raised me. They were always good examples of treating other people positively and greeting them consistently with a good attitude, regardless of what mood they were in or what was going on in their personal lives.

If you think about it, being cheerful toward other people (regardless of how you feel that day) is essentially about loving them. When we are a drag around other people, or are gloomy, we are just pulling them down too.

The ABCs of Family Civility

Adapted from Pier Forni, Choosing Civility: The Twenty-Five Rules of Considerate Conduct.

1. Smile. People respond better to those who are positive.

2. Be considerate. Ask yourself, "Is what I am about to say going to encourage and build up the other person, or tear him or her down?"

3. Practice restraint and don't yell or raise your voice.

4. Have the courage to admit it when you are wrong. Avoid ridicule and don't humiliate or demean the other person. You can express your anger without attacking the other person.

5. Accept kindness from others and let others be nice to you.

Alligators, Crayons, and Pink Golf Balls

Lately there has been no question about what is on our nearly-two-year-old daughter's mind. She tells us exactly what she is thinking. This can be both good and difficult. Either way, her fresh perspective often makes us laugh out loud.

“Go on alligator!” said Meredith, at the mall last night. She then pointed to the “escalator.” (Close enough, right?)

“I ate a crayon,” explained Meredith as I was furiously trying to brush a chunk of brown that was stubbornly clinging to her tooth. As I was brushing the tooth, I was puzzled by the brown substance. I asked out loud (more talking to myself than to Meredith), “What on earth is stuck on this tooth?”

“Get mine pink ball!” said Meredith as she watched her daddy get his golf clubs out of the garage. I had no idea what this meant. Later I found out (from Kevin) that he often lets her knock around a hot pink golf ball with his putter. She just wanted to be part of the action.

Betcha Got One!

As we were driving along a major road the other day we noticed a run-down apartment complex with six or eight units. In each of the balconies of the apartments, there were little charcoal grills.

It made me reflect on the home and garden show we attended several months ago. At the show we were dazzled with numerous high-end, built-in grills featured in various displays.

These ponderings made me realize how much grilling is a part of every American’s experience, regardless of your socioeconomic status. Whether you spend $20 on your grill or $20,000 on your built-in grill patio, if you are an American you likely have one.

And, seriously, who can blame Joe American for reveling in the delicious summer ritual of a smoky, juicy piece of semi-charred meat?

Links are Back Up and World Rejoices

The links are back up (in no particularly logical order) thanks to the fact that someone whose name begins with an "M" took a long nap today. The links' order will likely change in the near future but, in the meantime, maybe you'll discover new links, and perhaps even new friends, because of the randomness ... you never know.

I learned my lesson that I need to save them in one document, html format, before I decide to give my webpage another facelift. Thankfully they were at least all saved in my favorites folder. (I know a lot of you folks out there are thankful too since I got a lot of e-mail requests and complaints when I originally took them down!)

Happy blogging,
Amy

Recent Family Quotes

“That wife picked it up!” –Meredith (in response to a very obese 20-ish woman who picked up a bag of chips she took from our cart and threw in the aisle at the grocery store. She gets confused about the whole mother/wife/woman thing and will randomly call people whatever role she chooses at the time).

“How about some fishy crackers?” –Meredith (to her grandma as they were grocery shopping and she spotted a bag of them in the check out lane).

“Some people are miserable and don’t even know it.” –Amy (referring to a very interesting neighbor of ours whom she is still trying to figure out).

“You are worth a whole head of gray hairs. Maybe even two heads.” –Kevin (to Amy when she asked him if she’s worth the four gray hairs she’s given him this past year).

“I thought it tasted different.” –Kevin (this morning after Amy asked him if he realizes he is using her toothbrush).

What's Up

Kevin is working every spare moment on a writing-competition-thing for school. Poor guy is still waiting for his summer to begin. To make matters worse, he really hasn’t had much time to adequately work on it, either. It’s just been a busy week with various personal commitments.

Amy is trying to be a good mom and failing most days. The “whining toddler” phase is very trying for her. She seriously thinks it’s worse than the “fussy newborn” phase. Do you realize how difficult it is to deal with a toddler who simply cannot be pleased, regardless of what you do, and whines about everything? Amy wishes she had a nickel for every time she tells Meredith, “I cannot hear what you are saying when you whine. You need to ask nicely with a smile and then I can hear you.” Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

Meredith is enjoying being a kid to the fullest extent possible. Every day brings some new fun thing in her life. This week she went to Brown County and went hiking for the first time without being carried or riding in daddy’s backpack, she went to the park twice including the water “squirt park” by our house, went swimming in her pool, went to the Children’s Museum, and on Wednesday was thoroughly spoiled by every member of Kevin’s family while mommy got her work deadline done. Yes, she has a good life, despite her quite imperfect mother.

Tonight Kevin and Amy are going to dinner with friends—yes, it’s an adults-only event. As much as we all love our children, a break now and then is nice too.

Two Long Days

Yesterday and today have been two very long days. Actually, yesterday was probably the longest day of my life—or at least it felt like it—with numerous activities crammed in from sun up to sun down.

Yesterday I took Meredith to the OB with me. It was the first time I’ve taken her. She was surprisingly good. She stared with wide eyes as the nurse took my blood pressure and she held onto my foot the entire time I laid on the exam table. She glared at the doctor and absolutely refused to share her fishy crackers when he asked for one. I gave her three jelly beans as a reward for being good. Unfortunately I did not have an orange one (only green, purple, and red) and she was very upset by that.

The day ended with friends coming over—most of them were at our house to talk about starting a movie-discussion outreach program with our church, which Kevin is going to be involved in.

Today I took Meredith to our MOPS group’s end-of-the-year picnic. In addition to the playground equipment, “fun stations” were set-up for the kids—drawing with chalk, “fishing” for magnetic fish, bubbles, beanbag toss, face painting, balls and bikes, etc. Needless to say, Meredith had a grand old time.

Midway through the picnic, the Chick-fil-A cow showed up. Meredith liked the idea of the cow but was terrified of him when we got closer.

The funny thing is that, turns out, I am acquainted with the young man who was inside the cow costume! Such a small world! Of course, he was not allowed to speak to me or anyone else since cows aren’t supposed to talk. [Note for future reference: I would never make a good Chick-fil-A cow since I can never shut up for very long.]

Tomorrow should be much calmer. My weekly work deadline is over and I think me and the kidlet will be hanging out at the pool for a few hours with Aunt Megan.

Beauty and Serenity

We decided to be tourists in our own town and visited the Lilly Mansion grounds on Saturday. The property is so lovely and serene. Because of the formal gardens and French Chateau mansion in the backdrop, I told Kevin it felt like we spent the day in Europe, except that it was only a ten minute car ride ... and free.

Because of the numerous stairs throughout the gardens, we chucked the stroller and let Meredith walk (except that she preferred to run). She had a blast with her newfound freedom. By the time we put her in her stroller again, she was so tired that she fell asleep instantly. This worked out perfectly because we went to the art museum next (also on the same property) and Meredith slept the entire time, allowing for uninterrupted art-viewing by the adults. Nice!

What is really nice—the new director of the Indy art museum decided to make admission free. So we didn't feel pressure to "get our money's worth." We look forward to going again soon in order to explore some other exhibits.
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Conversation with my daughter:

Me: "Where is baby sister?"
Mer: "Mommy's tummy."
Me: "When is she coming out?"
Mer: [silence]
Me: "Remember? She's coming after your birthday."
Mer: "Cake!"
Me: "Yes, what kind of cake do you want for your birthday? Chocolate or Strawberry?"
Mer: "Strawberry. Um, no ... cinnamon cake!"

What is amazing to me about this is the fact that I don't think Meredith has ever had cinnamon cake. Nor do I ever really give her other cinnamon things. I have no idea where she learned that cinnamon exists in cakes. We’ll see if she still wants one for her birthday, come July.

Don’t let your summer go by …

… without fun!

Here are some fun ideas to do with kids this summer that are free or nearly free. If you guys have any ideas to share, I’d love to hear them.

Have a theme for the day: A “color” day where everything is green, for example. A “backwards” day where everything is done backwards (wear your clothes backwards, walk backwards, eat dinner for breakfast and breakfast for dinner and, of course, eat your dessert first).

Have a family hunt to find the best chocolate milkshake in the city.

Have a special craft day.

Have a campout in your backyard or living room, with a tent, etc.

Make a list at the beginning of the summer of all the fun things your kids want to do before fall and work at checking them off (make a fort in the basement, make chocolate chip cookies, etc.)

Give each child a day of the week that’s their day to choose a special activity.

Take a trip to the dollar store and fill up a bucket—kids can choose one item each on those days when boredom starts setting in. Apparently, from what I'm told, a roll of scotch tape can provide hours of entertainment.

- Go berry picking
- Free concerts in the park
- Free movies in the park (a lot of cities have kid-friendly movies)
- Splash Cinema (swim and watch movies)
- Squirt parks
- Library reading programs
- Bike rides / rollerblading on a long walking trail
- Vacation Bible Schools
- Free museum days

Reality Strikes

Behind on everything. Trying to keep my head above water. And then …

A dose of reality.

My life is going to be so much more hectic come August. I just finished reading a book about having a second child. At the end of the book are all these testimonials of women who explain—with no holds barred—how much more difficult it is with a toddler and a newborn and how tired they were all the time after the birth of their second child. I almost wish I hadn’t read it. Ignorance is bliss, right?

And, here’s the worst part. All the women in these testimonials were SAHMs who don’t have a side job (like me) and a husband who is absent evenings and weekends with school and study, in addition to work (like me). If they could barely survive those first months, what are my prospects?

If I’m already feeling behind with just one kid, how am I ever going to do it with two? “What were we thinking?” I asked Kevin last night, only half joking.

Not to mention that the book also mentions that, statistically, the most difficult year in a marriage is the year following the birth of a second child. [Pause for further dark meditations.]

I really don’t want my fears to get in the way of me fully enjoying the welcoming of my second child into this world and relishing every moment of her precious babyhood.

I know it’s only a temporary time. It’s only one more year and then life will become less complicated as far as our family schedule is concerned. But can I survive this coming year? Is there any hope that I can be a good parent and make good memories with my kids in the midst of the sheer chaos?

(Yes, I know … God’s grace.)

Speaking of which [making memories with your kids] … today’s MOPS topic was on having fun with your kids. I’ll write more about that later …

Mother's Day

Mother’s Day 2007 came and went. Honestly, it still feels somewhat awkward to celebrate it. Mother’s Day (no offense) is for older women. It’s really weird to have a holiday that I never celebrated—until just two years ago—suddenly thrust upon me.

I did get breakfast in bed, though. That was nice. And Meredith rushed into the room to wake me up, with a homemade card in her hand, yelling “Happy Dirth-day.” (That’s how she pronounces “birthday.”) Kevin then burst out laughing because he had coached her for the last five minutes to say “Happy Mother’s Day.” In her excitement to wake me up, Meredith forgot the right thing to say. Hmmmm … I love my family.
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Earlier I asked Meredith, “Who is your mommy?” She said, “Mommy.” Then I asked, “Yes, but which one?” She then yelled at the top of her lungs, “Amy!!!”

The other night Kevin was going to take Meredith to run errands. They were going to look for exciting things like ink cartridge toner. When I told Meredith she was going to go shopping with daddy, her eyes lit up, she gasped, and she asked, “New shoes?” She has learned early in life the meaning of true shopping.

Lately Meredith has been referring to herself as a dolphin, her new favorite animal. She always says things like, “Dolphin’s knee is hurt. Kiss it.” And “Dolphin sit on daddy’s lap.” And “Dolphin eats chicken. Yum!” It’s so funny that she imagines herself to be a sea creature. She also pretends to be a puppy and a lamb, at various times. Cute.

Planting Time

I wish I could say that I have a garden full of a variety of things but, while in our rental house, a bunch of potted flowers—and hopefully a few herbs—are going to have to do.

We got some flowers planted over the weekend and it makes such a big difference! I love it!

We are trying to enforce the "one finger rule" so Meredith can enjoy touching the flowers without destroying them. She picked a Gerbera daisy today so she's not always very obedient.

Kevin gets the credit for this "arrangement" and I get the credit for keeping it alive (presuming I can).