Easter

I love Easter. It’s my favorite. I know I say that about pretty much every holiday but (trying to be objective here), Easter is at least in the top two. The Resurrection means Victory in the Christian faith. I love celebrating this victory. I love celebrating new life. I love spring! And, okay, I admit. This year it was especially fun to make Meredith’s basket and get her all dressed up. The best thing about having children is reliving the newness of something—seeing excitement in their eyes, which is contagious.

Happy Family

Mer got these glasses in her basket from grandma.

She wore them nearly all day.

It was obvious she thought she was a rock star.

With Uncle Colin, looking fabulous in pink.

Or, did he say it was "egg shell"?

Huggin' cousin Cole.

Once she figured the eggs were supposed to go IN the basket, she really got into the hunt. She loved it! (Especially when she realized there was chocolate inside!!)

I think this picture is great! Kevin took it—of the paparazzi surrounding Cole. It captures on the faces of the adults the joy that a child can bring.

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Seven ladies, a good book, and tea to go around.

We had our first book club meeting last Thursday and it was great fun. If any of you out there have thought about joining a book discussion group, I would encourage it. Either that, or start your own. One thing I love about this club is being able to discuss views and opinions on a book with other people who have the same frame of reference. I’m excited about being able to get together with these ladies once a month to delve into a new plot and new topics. It's a great group of people—I consider myself blessed to have such quality, thoughtful friends.

To kick off the club, we had Chinese treats. Heather thought of that idea, since the setting for the book was 19th Century rural China. I made fortune cookies and almond cookies and Heather brought egg custard tarts. Shannon brought some yummy authentic tea. And, best of all, we had authentic China from China. It helps to have a SIL living in Beijing who can get you stuff. This set of China was a gift from Laura, purchased via Megan.

I can’t wait for our next club meeting, in May! We’re going to try a non-fiction book and see how it goes. I have mixed feelings about this. It will be nice to try a variety of things but I did really enjoy reading and discussing a novel.

Lipstick

Typically I have Meredith watch a video while I take a shower to keep her distracted. This morning I decided to let her play by herself. That was a mistake.

As I exited the shower I noticed that she hadn’t taken all her clothes out of the dresser and strewn them across her bedroom, which she is prone to do. That made me glad. Then I noticed that my bedroom door was shut. She doesn’t know how to work door knobs yet, so I figured she was trapped in my room playing. I opened the door to discover what she had been up to. She had pulled my purse off the dresser and had gotten into the forbidden lipstick. She had been looking at herself in the mirror, attached to the back of the door, while doing the job.

Nearly every day Meredith watches me put on makeup. I usually let her put on powder and Chapstick so she can feel a part of it. I should have known she would attempt a self-application at some point!

The lipstick had gotten all the way up her nostrils. Have you ever tried to clean lipstick out of nostrils before? Only a mother of a toddler would know I guess. The things I never expected to experience ... and now I have.

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This week has flown by. Things have been really busy here. I can’t believe Easter is coming up in a few days.

Over the weekend we took Kevin on a trip down Memory Lane—we went to a cool park he used to frequent for little league games. The weather has been so glorious! It was great to be outside. (We went to several different local parks with trails over the weekend.) Then we went to this hole-in-the-wall pizzeria called “Pizza King”—a place Kevin also went to as a boy. He had fond memories of it because they have video games at every table and a little choo choo train comes down a track to bring your drink order to your table. It was a hoot! And the pizza wasn’t totally bad either.

Okay, now I need to go get Meredith out of her bath, which I’m sure is dyed red with lipstick by now.

Blogs are So Cool

Okay, I’ve always thought blogs are cool … why else would I have one, and read so many blogs on a weekly basis, if I didn’t think that. But recently I’ve decided they’re even more cool than I thought they were before, mainly because of two recent comments left on my blog.

The first comment is from a girl I was in church nursery school with at First Baptist Church Long Beach! Aaaaahhhh! Even though Rhonda and I were like five years old, I have distinct memories playing with her as a child, along with two other girls, Jessica and Katie. I distinctly remember her large backyard and swing set, kitchen, dining room, and another big room upstairs in her house that was full of toys and a TV set. I also remember all of her red-headed and blonde siblings. Crazy! She still lives in Long Beach and has recently realized her lifelong dream of becoming a zoo keeper.

The second comment is from a student in India—a total stranger to me. He randomly came across my blog while doing research for a book review. He apparently told some friends about Meredith and now several of his friends, also from India, have left sweet comments on the Toddler Days post. They have all made me smile, and even laugh. Then I checked out Shrikant’s blog, and found it to be very entertaining, with lots of great quotes that made me think deeper about life. So, I’m glad to have found his blog too.

Blogs make the world smaller. Blogs bring people together. Blogs enrich life.

Pacifier Funeral

We are alive! The weekend I was dreading for months, if not longer, has finally come and gone. We had designated this past weekend as “the” weekend to finally take away Meredith’s pacifiers. I cannot believe how emotionally attached she was to her passy. It had become her total comfort and joy. She wanted to have it either in her mouth or by her side at all times. She was upset when she lost it and overjoyed when she found it again.

Because of her extreme love for and attachment to her passy, I felt like a total villain for taking it away. But then I also knew I had to administer some tough-love because her passy was starting to mess up her teeth. I could already tell its affects on her bite. So, this past weekend was THE weekend.

We started with a “Big Girl Ceremony” on Friday night to inaugurate the big weekend. The ceremony was complete with eloquent speeches, a passy gathering (the "pink one," "white one," "monkey one," etc.), a trash dumping (done by Meredith herself), a final prayer for all of Meredith’s dearly departed pacifiers and grace for her to get through the first couple days and nights, plus ice cream to celebrate.

First let me say, I cannot believe how much time I spent dreading this compared to how much of a problem it really was. Meredith clearly understood what had happened so, whenever she asked for her passy, we reminded her: “Meredith, what did you do with your passy?” “Trash,” she would reply. She wept a few times but never cried herself to sleep, like I expected she might. As the weekend progressed, she asked for it fewer and fewer times. Today, she’s only asked for it once so far.

The hardest part was that she got the flu on Saturday morning (of course, the weekend we were going to take the passy away, she would get sick). Several times I was tempted to give in but, since Meredith had already emotionally said good-bye, I knew I had to hold my ground. In the end I’m glad that we staid course. She’s now feeling better and, with the passing of her pacifier, it seems she has officially entered big girlhood.

Monon Workout

Yesterday I, who rarely exercise despite my best intentions, walked nearly eight miles! Catherine came over with her daughter Hannah and us two pregnant ladies, with our daughters in their strollers, set out on the Monon Trail. The Monon is just a few blocks from our house and is an old converted railway trail.

The great thing about walking/exercising with a friend is that you start talking, get caught up in conversation, and don’t realize how far you’re actually going. So, in other words, exercising with a friend is good! We walked nearly to the border of Hamilton County. Kevin couldn’t believe it when he heard it. We’ve biked that far but never walked it.

I ended up with a few blisters and sore hips, legs, and feet. But all that will go away soon, right? It was good to get out and exercise—and I hope to start walking more regularly now that the weather is nice.

Super Size Me

I love the library. It’s always a good thing, but it’s especially good when you’re on a student’s budget and regularly frequenting Borders and Blockbuster is prohibitive. I love being able to walk into the library knowing that everything is free and available to me. It’s wonderful. I’ve always been a liberal library-user but lately, with no cable TV (and desiring to watch something while I’m ironing shirts), I’ve been stocking up on lots of videos in addition to books.

Last time I was at the library I saw the documentary Super Size Me sitting on the shelf and took it home. I’d read some of the reviews on this documentary when it was released but was unprepared for its persuasion. I won’t say that I’m ready to give up all fast food (not that we eat it very often—maybe once a month) but Super Size Me was a good reminder about the fast food industry, junk food in general, and the overall threat of obesity to health.

For those of you unfamiliar with Super Size Me, Morgan Spurlock goes on a 30-day McDonald’s-only diet under the supervision of three physicians and two nutritionists with shocking results. The film was very eye-opening, informative and even entertaining. I highly recommend it.

Ironically, the day I watched Super Size Me, I had already planned on having grilled burgers and homemade onion rings for dinner that night! Ha!

Toddler Days

Here are some cute Meredith-isms from the past month—little things I’ve jotted down as they’ve happened. I’ve only just now found the time to post them!

This picture of her is a VERY typical Meredith expression. She likes to look at people sideways. She is now 20.5 months and such a joy!

Mer’s new thing is getting in and out of her booster seat by herself and then fastening the buckle by herself. In fact, she pretty much wants to do everything by herself lately. When I try to help her, she says, “Self!” When she doesn’t get her buckle fastened on the first try, she’ll say “Almooost” to encourage herself. Lately, though, she’s gotten really good at it—she buckles herself into her booster, stroller, and grocery carts.

Speaking of grocery carts, going grocery shopping with her is crazy! She loves to identify all the objects she knows and yell out the names of food she sees. When she’s not yelling “Banana! Grapes! Bacon! Pasta! Cookies!” at the top of her lungs, then she’s loudly singing one of her favorite songs. We couldn’t sneak up on anyone if we tried.

She has learned how to pray, repeating prayers after daddy: “Fa-der, tank-you … for our food. For mommy, daddy, and baby. AMEN!” It’s so sweet to hear her childish voice saying prayers.

Speaking of prayer, when the pastor said “Amen” at the end of his prayer at church last week, Meredith loudly asked, “All done?” She was tired of being confined in the pew. Children are so honest!

She knows all of the colors of the rainbow, plus more. She loves to identify everything by its color: pink shirt, brown bear, grey shoes, etc. Her favorite color is pink, of course.

She has become a backseat driver! Totally! “Red stop! Green go!” “Turn!” (We wonder what she’ll be like when she’s three!)

Mer is constantly pretending. The other day she picked up a piece of scrambled egg on her plate and said, “Dinosaur. Rooooaaaarrrrr!” Every time she sees two of something where one thing is bigger than the other, the big thing is always the “mommy” and the little thing is always the “baby.” For instance, “Mommy grape, baby grape.”

She wants to be included in everything. When I kissed Kevin hello the other day, she said, “Mommy, daddy kissing. Mer-mith kissing?” We quickly gave her a kiss too.

She copies nearly everything we do. She must always spit in the sink when she brushes her teeth, despite the fact that she’s already swallowed all the toothpaste. :-)

The other day she picked up a semi-transparent blue Tupperware lid, held it to her eyes, and said, “Dark outside!” She loves to tell everyone when it’s dark/night vs. light/day.

We went shopping the other day at Macy’s. We were walking through the underwear aisle when Meredith spotted the most hideous pair of granny underwear in the whole store—big, white, and plain. She reached for it and said, “Awww, cute!” I just about fell to the floor laughing. As we left the mall on another trip, she cried, “Shopping! Shopping!” We asked her if she wanted to do more shopping and she said, “YES!”

Meredith was upset that I wasn’t paying more attention to her as she slid down her plastic slide in the living room—I was reading a book at the time. She looked up and me and said, “Book down! Mommy watch you! Book all done!”

She finds excuses for her finger to be hurt just so she can have it “kissed all better.” When I kiss one finger, she holds up the next one, and then the next one, saying “this one ... this one ... this one.”

Meredith is such a toddler! She has recently gained so much confidence in herself. She chatters and sings nonstop. She understands how everything works and has definite opinions on what people should do, not do, say, and wear. She will be such a bossy big sister! But she is also kind and obedient. We love our little girl!

Serenading Birds

This morning we woke up to happy, tweeting and chirping bird sounds. Kevin noticed it first. We hadn’t realized how much we missed bird sounds until we realized (this morning) that they had been absent for a long time.

Winter had silenced the birds. But, thankfully, winter is not forever.

And then there are the flowers. They’re starting to pop up here and there, just a little bit. On a walk yesterday afternoon, Kevin noticed some blue wild flowers sprouting up in someone’s yard, along with daffodil and tulip leaves too.

All those years I lived in California I never really appreciated birds or flowers because they were always around. Here, I appreciate every little sign of spring that I get.

I also appreciate the fact that I appreciate it.

I think the changing seasons teach us things about life, time, and various forms of beauty.

Floods and Sales

On the worst day possible, as I was rushing around like mad to do laundry and pack stuff for Kevin to go on a men’s retreat, our (unfinished) basement flooded. I spent about three hours on my hands and knees mopping up water, and trying to dry things as much as possible.

From what I can tell, the room was filled with about an inch of water (based on the water line on a cardboard box). The water must have receded quickly down the drain, though, because it was mostly dry on the concrete where I stepped. I wouldn’t have noticed it had flooded (as soon as I did) if I hadn’t picked up one of Meredith’s toys to find water rushing out of it. I realized how bad it had flooded only when I stepped onto an area rug and water seeped all over the place.

We don’t use our basement very much—just for some furniture storage, pantry storage, laundry, and I have a scrapbook table down there. Fortunately nothing of sentimental value (e.g., pictures) or other value (e.g., furniture) was damaged. An area rug and some stuffed toys were drenched, but easily dried out. Probably the worst thing was a box with Kevin’s sheet music, but I think those will dry out fine too.
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On Saturday morning I went to the Mother lode of all garage sales. A local Nazarene church hosted 200 private garage sales—selling kids’ stuff only. All of the toys and clothes were presorted and organized by gender and size. I hear that a week of work goes into this sale; with massive volunteer effort (25% of the proceeds benefit various charities). They hire two accountants to manage all the numbers.

It was crazy! I got there 45 minutes before the doors opened and there were already at least 150 people in line, ahead of me. When the doors opened everyone rushed in like mad. It was probably the most insane thing I’ve done in a long time. But I did come away with some cool wooden puzzles, books, and nearly all the clothes Meredith will need for the spring/summer. None of the clothes had any stains on them. Most of them look like new and there were quite a few name-brands. So, I guess in the end it was worth all the insanity—and setting the alarm clock about three hours earlier than I wanted.

Peeking Inside the Package

The idea of “sisters” has been on my mind a lot in the past day because we just found out that Meredith is going to get one! We are very excited. I’m already envisioning a double stroller loaded with pink stuff.

You’d think that our life would be destined for sugar-and-spice and frilly things, because we’ll have two girls. But then I remember that my parents had daughters who were interested in things like politics and hockey. So, you never know.

It was so cute—baby #2 was sucking her thumb vigorously when her profile popped up on the ultrasound machine. You could clearly see her little fingers and her mouth opening and closing. Ultrasounds have to be one of the coolest things ever invented. We’re really glad we found out the gender of this baby. We didn’t find out last time. That’s great for some people, but I think I prefer knowing. It gives me more time to be excited about the specifics of what our family is going to be like and helps me to bond better with the baby.

The ultrasound tech also told me that they will push my due date up a week. This is good news, as far as I’m concerned. Meredith came a week early too. So maybe I’m just a 39-weeker. The new due date is July 29.

Here’s an ultrasound pic of the new baby. We haven’t picked a name yet but, after finding out the sex, our list of choices has been cut in half, which is helpful.

Making Cookies with a One-Year-Old

I’ve tried to make cookies “with” Meredith on several occasions and the result has usually been a disaster—either resulting in a huge mess, her crying when I limit her contribution to the effort, or even (one time) a complete abandonment of the project.

Just when I started to think she’s altogether too young to help make cookies, I found a way to make it work. The answer: give Meredith her own bowl, her own ingredients, and her own spoon. Mommy gets the “real” (big) bowl. Meredith gets the little bowl. Everyone is happy.

Actually, Meredith was more than happy. She had a blast! I gave her a very small amount of each ingredient (except for eggs and extract). In between stirring the ingredients with her spoon, she managed to eat most of each ingredient before I could put the next one in. But she didn’t care. I didn’t care. It was great. (Side note: why is it that kids love eating things like shortening and plain flour? Gross.)

I look forward to many more memorable cookie-making times with my daughter. Maybe someday soon she’ll be able to stir the ingredients in the “real” bowl. But for now, we found something that works.

Book Club!

I’m so excited because I’m starting a ladies book club, with the help of Shannon and Catherine. Both of these gals have inspired me with their love of books, so I’m really glad they’re involved. After researching how to start a book club, figuring out logistics, and deciding on a few books to start with, the details are now ironed out and we have our first meeting in another month. We will be discussing a mix of both fiction and non-fiction. Next month it’s Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See.

The book club will encourage me to read more, to think more, and to develop deeper bonds with friends through discussing important life issues and sharing in plots, characters, and adventures.

I think it will be an enriching, rewarding, and fun experience.

Dad & Daughter

Here are four ways Meredith is just like her dad:

1) She can roll her tongue like a taco.
2) Her feet are extremely ticklish.
3) When she loses something, she looks everywhere but the obvious place.
4) She has an amazing memory. (She definitely did not get this from her mom.)

My Kev

I’m so proud of Kevin. He wouldn’t volunteer this information himself but, despite a full class schedule, working 20 hours a week, and being a good father and husband to a very distracting toddler and a high-maintenance wife, he just learned that he made it into the top 5% of his law school class of 260 people. He’s worked very hard and has been such a good example to me of saying “no” to things he’d rather be doing and “keeping on” even when he’s burnt out.

Frankly, it hasn’t been easy to go from practicing law in California, representing his own clients, and arguing his own cases in court, to being a student again. Despite this setback, he has always faithfully stayed the course, working hard and providing for our family. He has been a tremendous example to me of someone who faces challenges head-on and walks humbly before God.

I love you Kevin!

Has anyone tried garlic oil for ear infections?

Note: I've received e-mails that "comments" are not working on my blogger. I have no idea what the deal is. Sorry! Hopefully they'll work soon!
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Question: Has anyone tried garlic oil for ear infections?

We think Meredith might have an ear infection. Yesterday she had a fever and she told Kevin’s mom, while she was changing her diaper, “Ear hurt” and then she pointed to her left ear.

This morning I asked her once again if her ear hurt. She said, “Mmmm, hmmm. Grandma! Beep!” (She was referring to when her temperature got taken yesterday by grandma and she had to wait for the beep.) Since Meredith is only 20 months we don’t consider her veracity very reliable—it’s probably more likely that she remembered yesterday’s events than that her ear continues to hurt. Today her fever is gone and she is acting like her normal, chipper self again.

So, basically, I don’t know what to do. Let me know what you think of this article (excerpt) below, written by Dr. Lynne Paige Walker and taken from “Nature’s Pharmacy: Break the Drug Cycle with Safe Natural Treatments for 200 Everyday Ailments.”

I’ve never been much into natural remedies but I’ve read a lot of stuff online that garlic oil works to eliminate pain from ear infections. Then, just this morning, I read the information below. If even half of what they say in this book is true, I find it compelling.

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Ear Infections

Despite aggressive treatment, otitis media, or middle-ear infection, has reached epidemic proportions in American children. Called the bread and butter of the pediatrician, its treatment grosses at least $1 billion annually.

Standard drug treatment for ear infections is with antibiotics, but the ailment often fails to respond even to repeated courses of these drugs. The majority of ear infections are caused by viruses, for which antibiotics don’t work; and the widespread use of antibiotics has led to the widespread development of antibiotic-resistant strains of bacteria.

A landmark Swedish study involving 2,145 patients shows that for the majority of ear infections, antibiotics may do more harm that good. Not only did ear infections not go away any faster when treated with the drugs, but children treated with them were 30 percent more likely to have a recurrence of the infection. For those treated with antibiotics from the first day of the disease, recurrences were 40 percent more likely. The chance of repeat infection within a month of the previous one was more than twice as great in children treated with antibiotics as in those not treated. And in those treated with antibiotics from the first day of the disease, it was nearly three times as great.

The researchers noted that ear infection recurrences are on the increase and concluded that routine early administration of antibiotics may be responsible. The drugs depress the immunological response to bacteria, preventing the development of natural antibodies and interfering with the development of natural immunity. That explains why the earlier they’re given the more frequent are relapses of the disease. Antibiotics also permit overgrowths by resistant Candida microbes, which then produce toxins that can weaken the immune system and further reduce the child’s resistance.

Results of the Swedish study were confirmed in a study reported in the New England Journal of Medicine in 1987. Over 500 children with middle-ear infections were given either (1) an antibiotic alone (the popular amoxicillin), (2) that antibiotic along with a decongestant-antihistamine, or (3) a placebo. After four weeks, no significant differences were found in the children’s conditions. Neither drug provided any advantage over no drugs at all, confirming earlier research. Other studies of children with otitis media with fluid in the ears have found that the majority of cases resolved by the following month without treatment.

That doesn’t mean you have to ignore your suffering child who is screaming and pulling at her ears. Effective natural remedies are available to ease pain while the ears heal.

One is Mullein Oil Ear Drops. Mullein has narcotic properties. While it’s a strong painkiller, it doesn’t produce the lightheadedness or psychological aberrations of narcotic drugs. Applied directly in the ear, it quiets irritated nerves, relieves pain, and soothes inflammation. Other helpful herbs are Echinacea and elderberry.

Home remedies when you can’t make it to an herb shop include a few drops of plain fresh onion juice, squeezed in a garlic press right into the ear. Cotton can be applied afterwards to hold the juice in. Fresh-squeezed garlic oil, warmed on a spoon over the stove, is also good.

Out and About

Over the weekend our friends Kevin and Rachelle took us to the Indiana Repertory Theater and then to St. Elmo’s for dinner. We had such a great time with them and their friends, Nathan and Amber. We saw Shakespeare’s 12th Night. It was a really funny play—the acting was terrific and modern music and dance was interspersed. At first I wasn’t sure about the song and dance, but it quickly started to all fit together really well, and made the play more humorous. It’s amazing what people do with Shakespeare. Here’s a picture I stole from Kevin’s blog.

We also went to lunch on Sunday to the Iron Skillet for Grandma S’s birthday. I’d previously heard lots of talk about family gatherings at the Iron Skillet and now I can understand them, having experienced it myself. It was great because all 22 (yes, that’s twenty-two) of us, including three babies/toddlers were able to sit at the table together! The meal was like a holiday feast, with course after course being served. (I’m still full from eating that lunch.) I only regret that I didn’t bring my camera to take a picture of this memorable event.

Gov. Daniels

Although I belong to the same political party as Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels, the more I hear about him the less I like him. There are basically two reasons for this:

1) Earlier this year Daniels made a big push for all-day kindergarten. Excuse me, but this very issue was championed by far-left Democrats in California recently. It baffles me that a Republican is pushing for this—definitely not what I would have expected. Essentially this issue is about free (paid-by-the-state) daycare. Why is it one of Daniels’ top priorities to expand government programs and encourage mothers to be separated from their five-year-old kids for a full day, when otherwise many mothers would opt to spend more time with their young children?

2) Today I heard on the radio that Daniels was “surprised and disappointed” that the legislature failed to pass a tax hike on cigarettes. He was hoping to use the 25-cent per pack hike to expand government health care programs. We also recently faced this issue in the California legislature—and, again, it was the Democrats who supported it and the Republicans who opposed it. Last time I checked, I thought Republicans believed in a) limited government, b) keeping taxes down, and c) personal freedom (i.e., that the government should refrain from micromanaging personal decisions). Although I personally think that smoking is an unwise choice, I don’t think the government should reach in and hike the taxes on someone’s personal choices, just because those choices happen to be politically incorrect.

Until Daniels proves himself to be something other than a liberal in Republican clothing, I doubt he’ll be getting my vote.

What Wasn't Said

I recently went to a lovely bridal shower where several older, married women shared advice with the bride-to-be. The advice was great. This post is definitely not to criticize anything that was said. The purpose of this post is to raise a question about something that wasn’t said.

During the “give-advice-to-the-bride time,” with only Christian women in the room, nothing was said about sex. Come to think about it, I’ve been to many Christian bridal showers where advice was given but never, in my experience, has this topic been raised.

Am I the only one who, during this advice time, is thinking about the unmentioned “elephant in the room”? We all know what brides and grooms do. We also know that sex is a source of conflict for most couples, especially during their first year of marriage. Isn’t it relevant, after all?

Young women are already getting sexual messages from the world—when they turn on the television, drive on the road, stand in line at the grocery store, and also from their friends. Why is it that the Christian community is so averse to talking about it publicly when it’s already a part of everyone’s public lives?

WHOM should we best hear about sex from—older, godly women who can give us truthful messages about the subject or worldly influences and misinformed peers?

Why is it so hard, when talking about how money can be a problem your first year of marriage, to say that sex can be a problem too and you need to communicate about this area and be patient and persistent in working it out.

Why is it so hard, when telling a bride-to-be that she needs to respect her husband, to say that sex (like respect) is a need—both a physical and emotional one—that men have.

Kevin asked me if, given the chance, would I broach the subject at a shower. I told him that I likely would but, honestly (and unfortunately), it would have required some gut.

How do a lot of Christian young women learn about sex? The overwhelming majority of my friends learned about the “facts of life” in only ONE conversation with their mothers (a few friends told me their mothers didn’t even do this), and then learned everything else they know about sex from worldly sources.

My mom told me and my sister about sex after we heard the word “rape” on television and asked her what it was. I was about seven at the time. We didn’t talk about sex again until shortly before I got married and basically it was only a passing sentence so my mom could give me a book to read. I’m really grateful she did this but I do think that there definitely should have been a better history of conversations.

I think it’s imperative for Christian women to get past their discomfort and take initiative in talking about this important subject. They need to provide information, accountability, and encouragement to young women.

I hope that I can have conversations about sex with Meredith early and often, even if it means I have to dig through Teen Magazine and ask her what she thinks, is that biblical, etc., in order to initiate conversation. (But, because sex is so center-stage in our world, I don’t think it will even be that hard to initiate conversation, if I look for opportunities and am unafraid.) I also hope that other godly women in Meredith’s life will have the courage and grace to have biblically-based conversations with her on this topic too, especially when she is a young adult and needs truthful messages and accountability.

Some people might say that all sex conversations should be in private. I disagree. Obviously you need to be tactful—and I don’t think it’s appropriate to divulge certain specifics and things your spouse would likely be uncomfortable with. But having said that, especially since we live in a sexualized world, we Christian women need to stop treating openly-sexual conversations as taboo.

If older, wiser Christian women don’t inform a young woman’s views on sexuality, the world is ready and anxious to do it for them.

"Just trying to smell my pen, mom!"

Out of the Fog

Okay, here is yet another sickeningly optimistic post. I realize that it’s hard to read these types of things when you’re not having a good day. I understand, because I’ve been there. But, honestly, I can’t believe how good the last few weeks have been. I feel like my life has been restored to me. December, January, and the first part of February were, frankly, miserable. I’d always imagined how awful it would be to be first-trimester pregnant with a toddler. Unfortunately, it was just as bad as I thought it would be and probably worse.

I’ve been feeling so awful, with absolutely no energy, until just a few weeks ago. With renewed energy, I have suddenly felt like going out and doing things (even if it means driving Kevin downtown to work so I can have the car), visiting with friends, taking on new projects, planning things, etc. It’s amazing what a difference a little energy makes.

Yesterday I had a good visit with a close friend and her three kids. We let the kids run around like crazy and play with toys, and then we took them to McDonalds—of course, the ultimate treat for a kid.

Today I had an acquaintance—someone I hardly know—over for tea and scones. I was a little apprehensive about what we would talk about since we don’t have very much in common (yes, even us extraverts fear conversation at times). :-) We don’t share faith, common backgrounds, personalities, or pretty much anything really. Surprisingly, it ended up being a wonderful time of conversation and I look forward to our next get-together.

All I can say is … Praise God that first-trimesters aren’t forever.

Wonderful Day, Wonderful World

I think I had one of the most wonderful birthdays ever yesterday. It was just one of those perfect days.

Kevin had me totally fooled—I didn’t think he had got me anything for my birthday because he’s been so busy. He asked me the night before (as we were going to bed), “Now, what did you say you wanted for your birthday again?” I told him not to worry about it, we would go to a nice dinner and that was all I wanted. The next morning he woke me up with a stack of presents, wrapped in paper I’d never seen before. That means that, not only did he go present shopping, he remembered to stop by Wal-Mart and get paper too. The only reason he asked me what I wanted, the night before, was to throw me off his trail. What an adorable brat!

The first present I opened was a CD I used to have, “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong. I say “used to have” because it was stolen out of our car when we were first married. Listening to the CD brought back many memories of wonderful times in my life.

More reasons why my day was good:

I ate chocolate for a mid-morning snack.

Meredith was especially delightful and obedient.

Even the mailman was good to me—he didn’t bring me any bills or bank statements to open, just fun stuff like cards and magazines and a package. Since when does that ever happen? (Never.) I love it!

Kevin came home early (which also never happens, unless he’s coming home to study), we dropped Meredith off at his parents’ house, and then went downtown for an evening of frolic, fun, and carefree abandon. I felt like a teenager again. (I have decided that I need to have a birthday at least once a month.)

We went to Morton’s steak house and then to see a movie. I won’t tell you what the movie was because you will think less of me. I knew it would be stupid going into it but I also knew it would make me laugh. And, yes, I laughed so hard I thought I was going to cry on several occasions. (Especially during the water slide scene. Now, if you go see it you’ll know what movie it was!)

Then we went to Starbucks for coffee and conversation which is, in my opinion, the best way to end an evening.

I need to have another birthday in March. Definitely.

Six Day Review

I now have a better idea of what it’s like to have twins. I’ve been babysitting a little boy from church the last six days while his parents have been in Mexico. Sol is probably Meredith’s best friend but I seriously doubt that she is his. I couldn’t believe how annoying she was to him when he simply wanted to be left alone. She wanted to play with him constantly, kept patting him on the back, and putting her face up to his. Whenever she had to go down for bed she made sure that “Sol go night-night too.” She just didn't want to miss out on any of the action.



I made brownies and strawberries for an early Valentine’s celebration on Tuesday because I didn’t think I’d see my man at all on Wednesday, the 14th. (He has classes from 8:30 a.m. to 8:30 p.m. on Wednesdays.) Fortunately, it snowed like crazy on Tuesday night and classes were canceled. I LOVE BIG SNOWS!!! That was best present I could have had—time with my honey. Time with him is scarce these days ...




Kevin is the best husband and dad ever. He surprised me and Meredith with treats and cards at the table. Meredith went crazy over her stuffed dog and the chocolate. I thought it was sweet that he thought to make her Valentine’s Day so special too.

The results are in ...

The results are 2-to-1.

Kevin and Amy agree: “When it comes to snow ice cream, Breyers most certainly need not fear winter-sales competition.”

Meredith strongly disagrees. (But I guess she's the one who counts, since snow ice cream is for kids, right?)

Snow Ice Cream and Bangs

Apparently we're supposed to get lots more snow today. In anticipation of this, I put a bowl outside our back door to collect fresh snow. Unless there are big specks of dirt in the snow, I plan to make snow ice cream. We'll see if it's any good!

Also, today I finally gave in and cut Meredith some bangs. (I joined many other mothers in finding out how hard it is to use scissors on a moving target.) I was hoping to grow her bangs out but she never keeps barrettes in her hair and she was starting to look like a scraggly ragamuffin. Kevin is relieved I finally cut them. I'm still disappointed, though.

Here is a pic of Meredith playing in the snow last week. She dropped the fork somewhere and we still haven't found it.

The "Inside Park"

Today I told Meredith that we were going to the “Inside Park” (The Indianapolis Children’s Museum)—the only problem is that I told her an hour too early (i.e., an hour and five minutes before we were going to go). Therefore, she asked me at least every ten minutes when we were going to the “Inside Park” until we finally headed out the door.

Kevin and I had been debating if and when to get an annual pass to the Children’s Museum. I went ahead and used Christmas money to buy one today and I’m really glad I did. Meredith had THE time of her life. She played so hard at the museum that, by the time I put her in her car seat to go home, she fell asleep before I could fasten the buckle.

The Children’s Museum is great because everything is for kids—even the bathrooms have kid-sized sinks and toilets. It was obvious that Meredith felt at home, and completely uninhibited, as she excitedly ran from display to display.

I went with my friend Rachelle and her son Sol. Although it was hard to visit with the kids running in opposite directions, I really enjoyed getting some “girlfriend time.” I really need that in my life right now. I really appreciate Rachelle’s sincerity and transparency—which I think are two of the best qualities a friend can have.

Here are some pictures:

The Sand Box—Definitely M’s Favorite

Every time I tried to get her to move on to something else, she said “Sand!” Next time I go I’m planning on bringing a book to read for five hours while she plays in the sand.


Splash!

“Here’s some pancakes, little baby!”

Rock Climbing. I was surprised at how good she was. Maybe this will become a lifelong hobby?

“Little spaces just for me to explore.”

Rachelle and Sol on the Carousel

Meredith at an Excavation Dig, Hoping to Find a T-Rex (Maybe she’ll be a Paleontologist someday? You just never know.)

Amy Resigns Herself

I was trying to hold off until 16 weeks. Don’t ask me why—it was just a random number I had in my head. But I finally gave in at 14.5 weeks. I blew the dust off of my “maternity clothes” box in the basement, and cracked it open.

It’s not that my pants won’t button up anymore. Okay, I confess, only my two pairs of “fat jeans” will button. The main problem is that the top button digs into my abdomen when I sit down and it becomes painful. After enduring a week of discomfort, I decided to give in and pull out the maternity pants.

The main reason I wanted to wait is because I know I’ll eventually become sick of wearing these clothes—to the point where I want to burn them ALL.

Here is a picture of me with Baby No. 2, whom Meredith already likes to kiss.

Somewhere Else

I think I just figured out why I like snow so much—it makes me feel like I’m on vacation.

I grew up in a part of the world where I only got to experience snow if I escaped the city and went up to the mountains. Therefore, every time I see snow, I must surely be on a holiday get-away. Right?

So today, because the snow is beautifully falling outside my window, I am not sitting in my house. I’m somewhere else, in a cabin in the mountainous woods, experiencing a wonderful vacation.

Woosh-Woosh-Woosh

You know it’s a baby before you hear the first heart beat but that doesn’t make it any less exciting. Today I had my first OB appointment. I’m already at the 14 week mark but it took me a while to research doctors and figure out who would be the best fit for me. Fortunately the research paid off and I ended up really, really, emphasis on REALLY liking the doctor I saw today. She was smart, informative, savvy, patient with all our questions, and had a great sense of humor.

This was a relief because I feel like I need to have a personality-connection with my doctor, especially my OB/GYN. I’m not alone, either. I know of a lot of other women who feel the same. It’s not that personality is everything. Ultimately the most important thing is that your doctor is competent and smart. But personality does play a huge factor. Patients by and large want both.

The last two doctors I saw for Meredith (I’m still trying to find a pediatrician for her) were disinterested and rude, respectively, despite the fact that they both seemed really smart. Because their personalities rubbed me the wrong way, I decided to pass them by and continue my search.

Do they have classes in med school on how to connect with patients? They probably should.

Anyway, despite the blood work and pap smear, I can say that I had a surprisingly pleasant morning. I was glad Kevin could come with me, too. We had breakfast beforehand, which was fun. And when it came time to fill out the five-page information sheet, he was especially handy. I was having a hard time remembering basic information like my social security number and his work phone. I also misunderstood several questions on medical history, which he clarified for me. (I will blame it on pregnancy.) We ended up laughing like crazy at my incompetence.

We are so excited to welcome a new life into our little world. Meredith will have to share her kingdom, which will be very good for her. We love this new baby so much already.

Go Colts!

Food for Thought--Relationships

The talk at MOPS yesterday, given by the pastor of Zionsville Presbyterian, Ronn McDonald, made me feel like I was in a marriage counseling session. Here is some food for thought, from my notes. I’m not a very organized note-taker, as you will see, and tend to just write down random insightful things vs. structured things.

Searching for Significance

People who associate with other people in relationships (any group) are less likely to experience serious illness or die prematurely. People with close family/friend relationships recover from illness better and more quickly, according to the AMA.

Studies have shown that relationships and associating with other people are the best determiner of future health, even more so than diet. So, in other words, it’s better to eat ding-dongs with friends than asparagus alone.

If we try to find our identity in another person without first finding it on our own, we will never find it. Another person will never complete us. Only God will. Don’t put that kind of pressure on your spouse or children.

The beginnings of relationships are emotionally charged. Relationships can be compared with space shuttles. 96% of a space shuttle’s fuel is used in launching it, while only 4% of the fuel is used in orbit. People go through life looking for blast-offs. They think if they are not constantly on the launching pad something is wrong. But that is not what true love is. More people need to be told to “wait, stay, persevere—you are moving to something far better and wonderful, the beauty and satisfaction of a healthy and mature relationship.”

When you marry, you marry a set of problems. (And you, yourself, are a set of problems.). If you marry someone else, you’re only exchanging one set of problems for another one.

When people fall in love, they are often willing to go to extremes. For instance, Ronn said he would have gladly given any of his organs to his wife if she needed it, fought any bully in any ally, or swam through shark infested waters for her. Strangely, he was never called upon to do any of this. Instead he was required to deal with the little annoying things that seemed to turn into big issues. Like the fact that his wife never liked to sort the mail and would just pile it up.

Here are some (oftentimes) tough questions for couples to agree on. What is a clean house? What is a romantic evening? What is a great vacation? What is a great retirement? What should be done with any extra money at the end of the month?

You are not likely to marry someone with all of the same ideas. You can overcome disagreements by “positive sentiment override” where you agree that your love is secure and you will work to overcome difficulties. This is a choice.

Marriage is a daily choice. You must commit every day: “I choose you again.” It’s not about “What are you going to do to make me feel alive today?” which is self-centered and the world’s definition of love. It’s about “How are the little deaths I must die each day going to bring us closer to Christ?”

Anything worth anything takes hard work and commitment.

Lastly …

Don’t ever rob your present and future by waiting for someone [a person vs. God] to step forward and be your happiness.

Predicament

Here I am trying to write a policy newsletter. My job depends on my ability to get this done by every Wednesday afternoon.

Meredith is supposed to be napping. Instead she is loudly singing: “The mommies on the bus go wee-wee-wee all through the TOWN.” Don’t ask me why she sings it this way. She likes to take parts of songs and then make up her own stuff.

Oh wait, now she has switched songs. Now it's “Kwinka-kwinka little star, up above the world so high …”

There you have it. A little girl who refuses to nap and a mommy who is not prepared to deal with it.

The end of the day ...

It’s the end of a long day and to unwind before bed I thought I’d read some blogs I don’t normally frequent.

The first blog link was sent to me by Kevin’s aunt, who personally knows the authors of the blog, and it really encouraged my faith. As parents we all go through emotional roller coasters and journeys. I truly admire the faith and perseverance of these two particular parents, expecting quadruplets any day now.

The second blog link was sent to me by Kevin, who found it on a friend’s site, and made me laugh my head off for at least five minutes.

It also confirmed my decision to wait until Meredith is at least five years old before I start potty training. (Okay, I’m exaggerating slightly.) But, seriously, I’d much rather change diapers than have potty training become a battle and drag on forever and ever. I’ve heard many tales from mothers about this happening. Well, it’s not happening to me!

In other news, Meredith is trying to give up her afternoon nap. I don’t know how on earth I’m going to be able to accomplish everything in my typical day if she starts doing that. I understand the idea of “quiet time even if you don’t sleep.” It’s just hard to explain that to a wide-awake 18-month old who loves to sing and talk, mixed with crying, at the top of her lungs in her crib.

In really cute news, Meredith now sings nearly every animal and animal sound in Old McDonald Had a Farm. Her favorite part is E-I-E-I-O, of course. I love to hear her sing, especially in the car. And especially NOT when she’s supposed to be sleeping. (But even then, I confess, it makes me smile.)

Meredith Grace

Spanking Ban

A lot of you have probably heard about California's proposed spanking ban, which would send parents to jail for a year if they spank a child under age three. The (irrational) logic is that all spanking is necessarily child abuse.

The author of the bill, Assemblywoman Lieber, does not have children herself but she does have a cat named “Snoop.” (Appropriate, I think, because of her fondness for government meddling.) Ms. Lieber does not spank her cat and rationalizes that, “If you never hit a cat, you should never hit a kid.”

This is one reason I love working in California policy. Probably half of the legislators out there think that you can make perfect analogies between animals and humans because they are the same thing (except for preborn humans, which are nothing). And I'm not kidding.

Eggs, Towels, and Scotty Dogs

Yesterday morning I laughed so hard after hearing a dialogue between Kevin and Meredith. He was changing her diaper when she informed him that she wanted to eat an egg for breakfast. He said, “Okay, we’ll go ask your mommy to make you an egg.” She then informed him, that no, “Daddy cook! Daddy egg!” She wanted HIM to make her an egg.
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Usually Meredith runs into the bathroom after my shower and says “All done!” This morning, in addition to that, she grabbed my towel off the rack, brought it to me, and said, “Towel?” I could get used to this type of service.
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Meredith is getting so picky about what clothing she wears lately. When Kevin was dressing her for church, he described the butterflies on her dress, saying, “Look how pretty!” She then replied, “Dog!” She wanted to wear her church dress, which is now getting too small, that has the Scotty dogs on it. She would not take no for an answer. It looks like the clothing wars have begun.

Turning Blue

Wasn’t that an amazing game last night? Condolences to my New England friends!

When I lived in Sacramento I was always amused at how fanatic people were about the Kings. But that’s nothing compared with the solidarity and passion I’ve seen displayed by Indianapolis residents for the Colts these past few weeks. People all throughout the town have been wearing jerseys and flying flags. It’s the buzz at every gathering place. Fast food establishments have signs cheering on their team. And blue thumbprint cookies and blue-icing doughnuts can be found at the grocery store.

I’ve never claimed a football team as “my own” because I’ve never been that into football. I think I’m becoming a fan, however. I’ve immensely enjoyed the last two Colts games. I’m proud to have finally found my team. Maybe I’ll go out and buy a jersey so I can be a small part of the frenzy too.

I think sports can be taken out of balance and be unhealthy but I also think there’s something to be said for the way it unites us. And, of course, it’s fun.

Go blue!

New Word, Islam, and the Bride Returns

None of us taught it to her and we have no idea where she picked it up. Meredith has started saying “mine!” I figured it would happen eventually but hoped it wouldn’t be for a while. She usually says it about ten times a day, even though she has no siblings to compete with yet, and she always yells it out. The terrible-two phase has started early in our household.

Last night Kevin and I went to an incredible study on Islam, given by our pastor. I feel like I left with a better understanding, not only of the religion itself and how it compares to Christianity, but of history and current events. It was really eye-opening.

Megan has arrived home from Beijing for four weeks of concentrated wedding planning, before returning for a final semester of teaching. It was good to see her late last night, and share her Wendy’s hamburger. (Or was that someone else’s I ate?) Anyway, it was good to see that she is happy and well.

Just when I was ready to quit ...

Several times in the past few months I’ve threatened to quit M.O.P.S. because I’ve felt like my life is out of control and I probably don’t have time for it anyway. There have been two weeks in particular that I’ve felt like skipping—the meeting right before Christmas and today’s meeting.

Ironically, the two meetings I felt I didn’t have time for, but went ahead and attended anyway, turned out to be the biggest blessings to me.

At each of these two meetings I was very encouraged, felt very loved and supported by my new girlfriends, and heard messages from amazing speakers who really made me think more practically about my walk with God.

Today the speaker talked about busy moms making times for devotions. She had a lot of good things to say, helping me to think creatively about fitting this essential thing into my overloaded day. She reminded me how important it is for Meredith to see me walking closely with God and how vital it is for me to teach Meredith to walk with God too.

I’ve been having tremendous guilt lately for having hit-and-miss personal devotions and a practically non-existent prayer life. Several times during the session today I felt near tears, thinking about how I need to be better. Yet, along with the conviction, came the reassurance that it’s okay to be honest about what my life is like right now. Devotions aren’t about trying to impress God or earn favor with Him. He created this phase of my life and understands my heart. God knows how genuinely crazy my days can be—like the fact that sometimes I don’t get a shower until 2 p.m. because I haven’t had the chance. Thinking about all these things made me nearly tear up again.

(Yeah, I know, I’m a hormonal pregnant woman right now. Give me grace!)

Anyway, I’m encouraged to stick with M.O.P.S. God has me there for a reason. The more I think about it, the more I realize that it’s absolutely necessary for my mental and emotional health right now. And I’m definitely glad for the much-needed spiritual encouragement too.

Yearning

Today is the type of day I wish I could sit somewhere near a window, read a good book, and periodically look outside at the beautiful falling snow. Unfortunately there is no time for that luxury today.

This morning Kevin tried to make me excited about the blanket of white on the ground but I was too groggy. It wasn’t until he left for work that I really started to appreciate it.

But like I said, today will be too busy to spend very much time taking it in.

Here’s something for my hall of shame. I still haven’t unpacked from our trip yet!! I’m just now starting laundry. Meredith has been sick and wants to be held constantly. Today is the first day she’s seemed more autonomous. Plus, I have a work deadline fast approaching and that tends to take first priority around here.

I’ve never been a working-outside-the-home mom, and I’m sure that brings its own set of challenges, but my theory is that it’s just as difficult, if not more difficult, to be a mom working from home. The reason is because all your spheres of duty overlap and intertwine. I often find myself having to juggle everything at once vs. being able to leave one thing at home and escape to an office where I can sit at a desk with limited interruption.

So, anyway, I’m not trying to gripe right now. But working at home with a toddler, and trying to meet a deadline, is a really difficult thing at times.

Okay, off to do laundry. Maybe in between trips from upstairs to the basement, where the washer and dryer are located, I can catch glimpses of that beautiful falling snow.

Seven Sunny Days

We got back last night from Los Angeles where we enjoyed every drop of sunshine that was generously sent our way. People kept asking us what we wanted to do for the day. Our answer was always: “We want to be outside!”

The day after arriving Meredith spotted a Friberg picture my parents have hanging on their family room wall. It’s of our first president kneeling in prayer. We asked Meredith to say “George Washington” and she complied. Every twenty minutes thereafter, for the rest of our trip, someone asked her to say it. She was always happy to do so.

We enjoyed walking around both Huntington beach (where Kevin happily ate his fish tacos) and Newport beach and going to IKEA with Betsy. We also went to the Ronald Reagan library, which was fantastic. A highlight of the trip for me was playing kickball with nearly the whole family. I haven’t played kickball in years. Another highlight, which is something we always enjoy, was having my dad make fresh squeezed orange juice from the tree in the backyard.

My family is more scattered now with Christy living in Hollywood and Betsy always being out of town. I was grateful to see all of my family on this trip, including my grandma who flew in from Missouri.

Here are some pics …

At Huntington Beach with the fam.

Games, games, games. This is mainly what David and Melissa want to do while we are in town. As you can see, Kevin is the "rule man."

Did I mention games?

At Christy's new apartment.

Air Force One at the Reagan Library.

View from the back of the Reagan Library.

At grandpa's church - I hadn't heard him preach in years.

Melissa enjoying her horse back riding lesson.

Meredith-isms

Here are some Meredith-isms as of late.

She goes hysterical when she gets a piece of hair in her mouth. She hates nothing more than to have hair in her mouth. She cries “yuck” and spits at the same time, while taking BOTH hands and furiously wiping them at her tongue. It’s the funniest thing to watch!

When daddy comes home she always insists that he promptly take his shoes off.

She doesn’t always obey the first time around but whenever we ask her, “Are you being obedient?” she immediately runs to us and says “THANK YOU!” (As if, “Please don’t spank me mommy, I’m such a good girl.” She definitely knows what the word “obedient” means.)

She pays attention to where we are going when she’s in her car seat. She always notices if there is a playground outside, especially if there is a slide. Whenever we pull into our driveway she yells, “HOME!”

Her absolute favorite song right now is “If You’re Happy and You Know It.” She sings it whenever she wakes up from her nap and also throughout the day. She sings: “Happy and you know it … ah, ha, ha!” Then she claps her hands. Then she repeats this over and over and over.

We are starting to think that Meredith is OCD. She has become obsessed lately with having certain toys lined up in a row and having certain things in their place (like her water must always be in the cup holder in her stroller, etc.).

Meredith smiles and laughs all the time and loves to sing all day long—no matter where we are. The other day we were at the mall and she was singing in her stroller, without any inhibition or regard to who was listening.

I know I’ve talked about her strong will but lately Meredith has had such a sweet and thoughtful spirit. Over the weekend I babysat a little boy who was a little bit forceful toward her. She was so good to him, shared all of her toys, and kept wanting to give him hugs and kisses (which he did NOT want). Whenever he cried for his mommy she would cry too, out of empathy.

We love this little girl so much. Whenever we think it’s not possible to love more, we find that, yes, it is.

I miss food.

This weekend was the first time I cooked a decent dinner in weeks. I’ve been much more nauseous this time around than my first pregnancy. The thing that’s worse (well, almost worse) than the nausea is my intolerance of food.

Let me just say that I MISS FOOD!!

I want my old life back … the one where I used to love food. The one where I would appreciate food and it would appreciate me.

Do you know how awful it is to be hungry but to not want food? Do you know how horrible it is to eat because you have to and not because you want to and you enjoy it?

[Note: To those who haven’t experienced it, pregnant-nausea is different than sick-nausea. With sick-nausea you don’t want to eat and that’s okay. With pregnant-nausea, oftentimes you have to eat to make the nausea go away. So, the thing that will help you is the thing you cannot tolerate and do not want. Ugh.]